Jared
we weren't really friends
there wasn't time
and I'm left comfortless with thoughts of could-have-been
(part of you was never meant to touch the ground again)
people who loved you keep saying
you would have wanted it this way
I know better (I knew you well enough)
you valued your life too much to step away
so easily
dying, you would have had just enough time to be afraid
unless you were fearless
the way you were in life
and it's the not-knowing that keeps shredding me
as I think this, over and over (please don't be afraid)
(it's all over now)
I don't know how to pray, but that's a lie
all poems are prayers to something
(poems are lies)
I don't believe in an afterlife
and if I did, I don't know if it would be more
for my sake
or for yours
-----------------------------
"Because it is bitter"
I'm not sorry
I wrote that poem
it was not meant to bring comfort
to anyone
I was too busy
tearing out my heart
to show you, to see if I could
how can you live without your heart?
you ask me
I don't know
perhaps one day
I'll be able to write myself
a new one
(DaRK PaRTY Contributor Rebecca Traquair is a poet living in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. When she's not writing, she spends an inordinate amount of time poring overmaps and reading indiscriminately. Perennial favorite writers include Harlan Ellison, H.D., Tanith Lee, Neil Gaiman, and Gregory Corso.)
No comments:
Post a Comment