::Literate Blather::
Friday, January 18, 2008
Under God's Right Arm: Bring Back Bush!

By Rev. Colson Crosslick

Picture a society:

  • Where gays, lesbians, and she-males are treated the same as heterosexuals and can be married at any City Hall.
  • Where the government gets into the healthcare business and starts paying for everyone who is sick to be treated – no matter if they can afford it or not!
  • Where our job-creating, money-machine corporations are forced to pay higher taxes.
  • Where hard-working rich people are penalized for their success by being forced to pay a higher percentage of taxes than the middle class and the poor.
  • Where the in-roads Christianity has made into infiltrating government are eliminated and we go back to separating church and state.
  • Where our warriors in Iraq return to our shores shame-faced because the war has been shutdown.

If we don’t tread carefully the nightmare scenario above could well become a reality. That’s because that bleak picture could happen to our great nation if we are foolish enough to elect a Democrat to the office of the presidency. Democrats in this day and age are the commies of the the 20th century.

So far I haven’t been overly impressed with the collection of Republicans vying to fill Bush’s enormous shoes – but I will caution voters that any of them would be better than Hillary Clinton (a she-beast closet lesbian if I’ve ever seen one), John Edwards (a greedy hick lawyer who hates businesses), and Obarka Obamaslama (who is probably related to at least a dozen Muslim terrorists).

In my mind former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee comes closest to presidential timber. He’s a man who I wouldn’t mind kneeling next to in church. So I’m going to cast my vote for him (yet I’m seriously considering just writing in a vote for Bush). The rest of Republican pack isn’t so bad – with the except of Mitt Romney, who is a member of a dangerous religious cult that blasphemers Jesus Christ and the holy tenets of Christianity. Romney should be shunned until he dies and finds himself face to face with Satan.

But the real problem is our own laws. The 22nd Amendment of the U.S. Constitution prevents a president from sitting in power for more than two terms. This is a mistake and our Congress should be trying overturn or vote this law out of practice. There’s little doubt that George W. Bush deserves a third term.

There’s been lots of unfounded criticism of Bush in the radical leftwing media such as the New York Times, TIME magazine, and the Wall Street Journal, but there is little disagreement among thinking people that Bush has been one of the greatest presidents in history. I think most reasonable people agree that one of the great tragedies of the 2008 election is that Bush isn’t on the ticket. In my opinion there is little doubt this great leader would be re-elected in a landslide.

On the whole, the Bush legacy is nothing short of awe-inspiring. He is responsible for bringing Christians flocking back to government (putting God back where he belongs!). He has been an ardent supporter of stopping liberals and minorities from having abortions, murdering cut-throat criminals, and starting wars with unstable despots and terrorist states. He has also given back hundreds of millions of dollars to corporations and the wealthy – which for years were unfairly taxed by liberals.

He also stopped efforts at universal healthcare – which is a disastrous idea and one that brings the United States closer to communism. But perhaps his most amazing achievement has been his relentless pursuit of terrorists – no matter where they hide. So what if he hasn’t caught Osama bin Laden! He helped assassinate Saddam Hussein and has captured and imprisoned hundreds of Muslim thugs (and whisked them away into secret prisons where they can’t do any harm).

Bush has been a supporter of education – and believes that all children should learn to read and write. It’s been the linchpin of his domestic policy and we’ve seen huge improvements in public education as a result (despite what many ungrateful, overpaid teachers say).

I understand that the 22nd Amendment probably won’t be eliminated, but it should be bypassed on this occasion. George W. Bush’s business is unfinished and my fear is that some Democratic do-gooder like Clinton or Obamaslama will be voted into office and start screwing things up. Do we really want healthcare for everyone? Do we really want to end the war in Iraq?

So vote Huckabee – or write in the name of our mightiest of presidents: George W. Bush. He can't win -- but it would be a powerful message to his inferior replacement!

(The Rev. Colson Crosslick is pastor of the Pretty Good Shepherd Church in Ripsaw, Arkansas. In the past, he has called for a ban on liberals from running for public office. He also writes the regularly appearing column Under God's Right Arm for DaRK PaRTY.)

Read the Reverend's Favorite Bible Stories here

The Reverend's 5 Reasons to Oppose Gay Marriage here

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