By Jess Myers
And so it was that there appeared across the aisle a multitude of people I didn’t like in high school.And there were in the same pew the husbands of those people,and yay! They seemed utterly bored with marriage,which means, I suspect, that they’ve stopped screwing(other people)And fear not! For there are good tidings of great joy!for her ass has doubled (and her chin, increasing surface area for her beard)And yea, though her husband has clearly given upand looks to be a Yeti lumberjack,I have caught him staring at me,for since graduationmy wardrobe has improved,my ass has not increased,and my breasts have.And there were in the same placemy uncle’s children and his ex-wife,and the glory of the Lord shone around herfor she was lit like a Christmas tree.And the babe refused to be swaddled, but stood on her thighs and screamed“I hate you Mom, I want to live with my Dad!” And verily I smiled and wavedand she rolled her eyes and said “we’re just living the dream.”And I kept all these thingsand pondered them in my heart.Along with my plans to leave and never return.And lo, that eve, I slept in heavenly peace.AmenRead Jess's poem "The Strangest Thing"(Jess Myers is a graduate of Ithaca College who works for a finance company in New York City. Her work is largely autobiographical, though she sometimes calls it fiction, because she takes perverse pleasure in seeing what meaning people ascribe to her life. Her favorite writers are David Sedaris (whose reading inspired her to change her major from vocal performance to creative writing), Dorothy Parker, and Flannery O'Connor, to name a few. Jess is also a trained equestrian and archer. Her full portfolio can be found on WritersCafe.org.)
Labels: Church, Jess Myers, Poem
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