There have been many of bad rock n’ roll bands. But to make this list, DaRK PaRTY set a few strict rules:
These are the bands that deserve to be completely eliminated from the annals of rock history. These are the bands that – to get cerebral and quite academic – suck. They bring nothing to the table except massively delusional fans (who will protest like 3-year-olds having temper tantrums when they see their band listed below).
So without further ado, DaRK PaRTY gives you the worst bands in rock history:
It is hard to believe that
Factoid: The first name for the band was “The Tradewinds.”
Worst Album: Pieces of Eight (1978)
Gag Inducing Song: “Mr. Roboto”
Boy George introduced the Amish hat into 80s culture and was responsible for helping make popular oversized shirts that hung down to the knees. At the same time he was destroying the fashion world, he was also helping drive a stake through the heart of alternative music. Culture Club’s pop-laden fluff is so sickly sweet and the lyrics so sugary that diabetics should avoid it at all costs.
Factoid: Boy George sang as “Lieutenant Lush” with Bow Wow Wow before joining Culture Club.
Worst Album: Kissing to be Clever (1982)
Gag Inducing Song: “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” (the answer, of course, is a responding yes).
Factoid: Part of the resurgence of
Worst Album: Monolith (1979)
Gag Inducing Song: “Dust in the Wind”
Factoid: The song “Heat of the Moment” is sung by Eric Cartman and the U.S. Congress in an episode of “
Worst Album: Alpha (1983)
Gag Inducing Song: “The Heat Goes On”
Soft rock is an oxymoron and Air Supply was king of the soft rock bands. The band performed love ballads that made the average person want to saw off their wrists with a sharp razor. The most difficult part about writing about Air Supply is coming up with their most gag inducing song – because all of their singles fill your mouth with bile.
Factoid: Founders Graham Russell and Russell Hitchcock meant during a performance of “Jesus Christ Superstar” in 1975.
Worst Album: The One That You Love (1981)
Gag Inducing Song: “Here I Am (Just When I Thought I Was Over You”
Worst Album: The Final Countdown (1986)
Gag Inducing Song: “Carrie”
Some people (deranged people) will argue against Huey’s inclusion on this list. Harmless, they’ll mutter. They’ll say: Wasn’t “I Want a New Drug” kind of a good song? They’ll add, didn’t the band win an academy award? Don’t listen to these nut jobs. Huey Lewis & the News were awful – so light weight that it’s amazing they didn’t just float away.
Factoid: Huey Lewis has a cameo in the movie “Back to the Future.”
Worst Album: Fore! (1986)
Gag Inducing Song: “Hip to be Square”
Here’s a mid-western arena rock band famous for power ballads. Can someone just shoot us in the goddamn head? And they’re still around – sometimes touring with
Factoid: The name REO Speedwagon comes from a truck built by REO Motor Car Company.
Worst Album: You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can’t Tuna Fish (1978)
Gag Inducing Song: “Keep On Loving You”
THE MOODY BLUES
This band came over with the British invasion that brought
Factoid: The band broke up in 1973, but alas, they reformed several years later to put out the 1978 album “Octave.”
Worst Album: To Our Children’s Children’s Children (1969)
Gag Inducing Song: “Nights in White Satin” (ARRRHHH!!!)
Journey may be the most annoying band on the list because Steve Perry may be the most annoying singer in rock history. Describing his lilting voice as “grating” would be doing a disservice to cheese graters. The band was famous in the early 1980s for its “power ballads” – another word for loud, sappy love songs. And now they simply won’t go away, mostly because they are extremely popular in
Factoid: The band was formed from members of Santana in 1973. Obviously, there was a reason Carlos kicked them out of his band.
Worst Album: Infinity
Gag Inducing Song: “Open Arms” (1982)
Lead singer Dee Snider describes Twisted Sister as “Slade meets the Sex Pistols.” A more accurate description would be “KISS meets a wood chipper.” This glam metal band popular in the 1980s had better marketing than music. The heavy guitar infused heavy metal breaks no knew ground and the lyrics so sophomoric as to be insulting to sophomores.
Factoid: Dee Snider used to be a regular on “The Howard Stern Show.”
Worst Album: Stay Hungry
Gag Inducing Song: “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (1984)
Radiohead should have been a one-hit wonder for its “not-bad” single “Creep.” Unfortunately, they kept releasing “art” albums and they may be the most overrated, over-hyped band on the list. Radiohead’s music is overwrought, dense, and sounds like it was recorded inside of a toilet. Lead singer Thom Yorke is a graduate of the Steve Perry school of singing.
Factoid: The band members met while attending
Worst Album: The Bends
Gag Inducing Song: “High and Dry” (1995)
Cinderella was encompasses everything that was wrong with glam metal: Bad hair, tacky outfits, and little talent. If you like melodramatic love ballads screeched by a parrot-voiced singer and surrounded by mediocre guitar riffs and drumming that sounds like a homeless man banging on garbage cans – then Cinderella is the band for you.
Factoid: Cinderella opened for Bon Jovi during the band’s “Slippery When Wet” tour.
Worst Album: Still Climbing
Gag Inducing Song: “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)” (1988)
Foghat deserves some credit for being a rock band during the disco era and for the song “Slow Ride” (which is a middle-of-the-road 70s rocker), but the band created some damn mediocre music. The problem with Foghat is that the band doesn’t have an original bone in its rock body. Listen to a best of album from Foghat and you’re left perplexed. Best of what?
Factoid: The band is “This is Spinal Tap” is supposedly based on Foghat.
Worst Album: Rock and Roll Outlaws
Gag Inducing Song: “Ride, Ride, Ride” (1973)
Is there a bigger whiner in rock n’ roll than Billy Corgan? He may be the most ego-driven, weak-kneed front man since Boy George. The band’s sophomore effort “Siamese Dream” had one interesting single in “Cherub Rock,” but the rest of the album feels like your reading Corgan’s diary (which one imagines as pink and locked with a little brass key). Their music – a mix of goth, alternative and electronic – generally sounds like yowling cats being crushed in a cement mixer.
Factoid: Billy Corgan worked in a record store in
Worst Album: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
Gag Inducing Song: “Tonight, Tonight” (1995)
Each member of Manfred Mann should be locked up for giving sports stadiums the nauseating “Do Wah Diddy Diddy” – and that’s their best song (They have tunes with titles like “Ha! Ha! Said the Clown” and “Trouble and Tea.” The band rode the British invasion of the
Factoid: After the band broke up, Manfred Mann worked writing advertising jingles
Worst Album: My Little Red Book of Winners!
Gag Inducing Song: “Do Wah Diddy Diddy” (1964)
What is there really to say about this bland 1980s rock band? The song “All You Zombies” is the only reason why any sane person could even be considered a fan. The rest of the Hooter’s repertoire induces cringing a strong desire for the member of Aerosmith to hunt them down and beat them with electric guitars.
Factoid: Rolling Stone Magazine named the Hooters the best new band of 1985 (its amazing the magazine recovered from such an enormous mistake)
Worst Album: Nervous Night
Gag Inducing Song: “Hanging on a Heartbeat” (1985)
The best part of this glam metal band is its mascot (which appears on just about every album cover): a straight-jacketed psycho in a metal hockey mask. Other than that – Quiet Riot offers little in the way of auditory pleasure. The music is loud, but predictable and non-threatening (despite the mascot). It also has the ability to induce a headache.
Factoid: The band appeared in a Simpson episode as a born-again rock group called “Pious Riot.”
Worst Album: Condition Critical
Gag Inducing Song: Metal Health (1983)StumbleUpon | Digg | del.icio.us | Reddit | Technorati | E-mail
And just because a band experiments doesn't mean they are any good.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
PS -- Make sure to save your dad's Journey records. They could be valuable some day.
The Doors were an excellent band!
And how can you have a beef with a band who gave us "Free Bird" and "Sweet Home Alabama"?
i dont disagree with anything on your list, though.
I'll agree that some of Morrison's lyrics sound like bad Internet poetry -- but he could howl. And how can one argue about his ability to surrender emotionally to every song? And songs like "Peace Frog," "When the Music's Over," "Soul Kitchen," "Back-door Man" and "Roadhouse Blues" are great rockers.
I love to hear your thoughts on why you think Skynyard ruined Southern rock. I think a lot of people would argue that they defined it.
You sir, are fucking clueless.