Labels: Alternative, Music, Rock

StumbleUpon

Digg

Technorati

E-mail

Classic Rock Bands That Are Nobody's Favorites

This is the musical equivalent of the old idiom: “Always the bridesmaid, but never the bride.”

There are classic rock bands that simply demand favorite status: the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Bruce Springsteen, U2, Van Halen, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, the Grateful Dead, Pink Floyd, The Who, etc. Their music touches people’s souls. They’ve got fan clubs and rabid fans – these are the bands that used to have their logos scrawled on high school book covers.

But then there are these classic rock bands – staples really – that are good, damn good in some instances, but they just don’t rate favorite status. Most people like these bands, but for whatever reason they don’t ignite the same passions as the great bands do.

It’s like being a B student with an older sister who is in National Honor Society. She’s got a leg up on you.

Here is our list of the 10 Greatest, But Not Favorite Classic Rock Bands:

Rush

The power rock trio from Canada have some amazing songs from “Tom Sawyer” to “Fly By Night.” They continue to be a staple on classic rock radio, but even the band acknowledges that people either hate or love them. But the love never got to favorite status for most people (who weren’t raised in the Great White North). The major problem with loving Rush seems to stem from the voice of lead singer Geddy Lee – who has one of those high-pitched voices that could wear thin after listening to it for an entire album. As a result, Rush is better digested in quick doses. But it’s hard not to like their concept album “2112” (see video above)

Bad Company

Rugged rock band Bad Company was the first band produced on Led Zeppelin’s label. The band was formed from the remains of Free, Mott the Hoople, and King Crimson, but they never achieved “great” status. But they did have some excellent early albums in “Bad Company” and “Straight Shooter.” Their self-titled “Bad Company” remains a classic heavy rock song (along with “Can’t Get Enough,” “Rock Steady,” and “Feel Like Makin’ Love”). Yet, the somehow none of Bad Company’s music hit it out of the park – great stuff, but just not favorite stuff.

ZZ Top

ZZ Top were the darlings of MTV in the early 1980s. They had a string of hits in “Pearl Necklace,” “Sharp Dressed Man,” “Legs,” and “Gimme All Your Lovin’.” But the southern fried pop rock quickly wore thin (as did the concept of hot chicks driving around in a flaming red hot rod). It’s hard not to like ZZ Top’s guitar driven music, but you’re definitely not going to have their logo tattooed on your forearm.

Boston

Surprise, surprise, surprise, the band Boston hails from Boston, Massachusetts. Talk about a band that’s got an iron grip on classic rock stations. Is it possible to listen to these stations for an hour without hearing “Smokin’,” “More Than a Feeling,” “Foreplay/Long Time” or “Don’t Look Back”? Yet despite wide-spread popularity and best selling albums this 1970s dynamo is rarely considered anybody’s favorite band.

Creedence Clearwater Revival

American roots rock band, Creedence Clearwater Revival, is another band with a lock on classic rock stations. They loaded up the charts in the 1960s and 1970s with a string of hits including: “Suzie Q,” “Proud Mary,” “Bad Moon Rising,” “Down on the Corner,” and “Run Through the Jungle.” CCR has the added advantage of being a band that makes you turn up the volume on the radio. But a favorite? Nah!

Foreigner

Foreigner barely skirts being a guilty pleasure band – barely. But they survive on classic rock stations because of their pop-infused hard rock numbers like “Feels Like the First Time,” “Cold as Ice,” “Hot Blooded,” “Head Games,” and “Dirty White Boy.” It actually surprising how many good songs are in the Foreigner catalog. Yet I venture that only one or two people in the world would admit to Foreigner being their favorite band of all time (and those people are probably the mothers of a couple of the members).

The Steve Miller Band

Is there any rock fan that doesn’t like a Steve Miller song? Here’s another classic rock band that has a long list of hit singles: “The Joker,” “Take the Money and Run,” “Fly Like an Eagle,” and “Jet Airliner.” Steve Miller rocks. But is there anyone out there that lists Steve Miller as number one? Have you seen Steve Miller lately? He looks like an accountant. And maybe that’s what held them back from reaching the next plateau – they just weren’t that interesting.

Traffic

The English psychedelic rock band responsible for the incredible “John Barleycorn Must Die” album. And who can’t get their feet tapping when “Dear Mr. Fantasy” comes on the radio? Yet Traffic suffers from being too esoteric and arty for anyone but Soho artists. Couple of cool songs – one great album – and always the bridesmaid.

Blue Oyster Cult

One of the best named bands in history (Blue Oyster Cult is from a poem by the band’s manager about a group of aliens that secretly manipulate human history). Here’ s a heavy metal band that gave us “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper,” “Burnin’ for You” and the always popular “Godzilla.” But here’s another band that suffered from a lack of personality and magnetism. Take away the music and they were boring – and dull bands aren’t favorite bands.

The J. Geils Band

I was a big fan of J. Geils Band during their heyday in the early to mid- 1980s. They put on a rollicking live concert with its blues-infused R&B rock. Peter Wolf was a great front man and lead singer and they gave us the seminal hit album “Love Stinks.” Here’s a band with a lot of great songs: “Must of Got Lost,” “Southside Shuffle,” “Whammer Jammer,” “Centerfold” and, of course, “Lost Stinks.” But even when I was loving J. Geils they were never my favorite band. They just couldn’t put enough points on the board for that (see video below).

The Best of Old Van Halen

The 9 Greatest Songs by Led Zeppelin

Labels: Bad Company, Blue Oyster Cult, Boston, Creedence Clearwater Rivival, Foreigner, J. Geils Band, Music, Rock, Rush, Steve Miller Band, Traffic, ZZ Top

StumbleUpon

Digg

Technorati

E-mail

U2 - October

Released in 1981, October is routinely dismissed by critics and fans as the worst early album by the Irish quartet. Bono has called October a “difficult second album.” It should have been because the subject matter is bold for a pop rock band: god and spirituality. It was the perfect preface for what was the band’s break-out album – the stunning War. But to dismiss October is foolish. The album is a wonderfully complex, atmospheric mediation. Highlights include:

• The gritty, drum-heavy “I Threw A Brick Through A Window” that sounds like it was recorded in a basement

• The wailing lament of English occupation of Northern Ireland in “Stranger in a Strange Land” (just listen to the emotional anguish of Bono’s voice).

• The piano ballad about the death of Bono’s mother “October” feels like a modern church hymn.

R.E.M. – Fables of the Reconstruction

After three successful albums, R.E.M. made some major changes for its generally overlooked fourth album recorded in 1985. The band switched to a producer known for working with English folk bands and left the United States to record in London. The result is moody, sinister reflections about the myths of Southern culture and folk music. If William Faulkner was a musician – he may have recorded Fables of the Reconstruction. The album contains many of the bands best music including:

• The portentous “Driver 8,” which was supposed to be the albums big rock number – yet it feels dangerous and secretive. The song is about the landscape around train tracks.

• “Feeling Gravity’s Pull” opens the album and announces that this won’t be an album filled with jangling guitars. It’s about falling asleep while reading and it signals the bands mysterious direction on Fables.

• The wonderful song “Kohoutek” (which is a comet), but the song is really about (and trust me it gets dangerous trying to interpret R.E.M.) lost friendship.

Pearl Jam – Vitalogy

This 1994 album (and the third) for Pearl Jam was a departure from its Seattle roots rock anthem sound that drove its first two efforts. Vitalogy is more experimental and can feel a bit adrift for fans that were used to the first albums. But Vitalogy shows the band maturing and taking chances – as well as experimenting with different sounds. While it was a critical and commercial success – Vitalogy isn’t often held up as one of the band’s best – but it is. Take these gems for example:

• “Corduroy” is a strange little number that starts with a cool guitar riff and then just builds. It’s a huge concert favorite and despite never being released as a single reached 13 on the Billboard charts.

• “Not for You” is one of our favorite Pearl Jam songs. It’s just got riff – and is very, very cool.

• “Better Man” is a song lead singer Eddie Vedder wrote in high school. It’s a straight on rock ballad about abusive relationships – done right.

Talking Heads – More Songs About Buildings and Food

Could there be a worse name for an album in existence? Perhaps, the poor name is responsible for why this album doesn’t get much attention from critics and fans – other than the fabulous cover of Al Green’s “Take Me to the River.” But despite the lack of commercial success for More Songs, it perfectly captures the eclectic nature of Talking Heads – a mix of reggae, pop, country, and punk rock. Highlights include:

• “Warning Signs” is a bouncy number that hard not to enjoy. It’s infused with that edgy Talking Heads energy.

• “Found a Job” is a cynical little jab at corporate workers and makes you want to dance like a robot.

• Call us crazy, but “Take Me to the River” is one of the best cover songs of all time.

Led Zeppelin – In Through the Out Door

In 1979, Led Zeppelin released its last studio album before the death of drummer John Bonham. In Through the Out Door was disliked by both Bonham

and guitarist Jimmy Page, who thought the album was weak. It also received mixed reviews from critics (although the fans ate it up). It’s generally considered the forgotten album by the band. But that’s a mistake. In Through the Out Door, quite frankly, rocks. It’s a tighter package than the band’s earlier blues infused tunes. Highlights include:

• The seminal rocker “In the Evening” which begins with an eerie, creepy introduction that was going to be used for a film called “Lucifer Rising.”

• “All of My Love” is a song written by lead singer Robert Plant about the death of his 5-year-old son. One of the only Zeppelin songs that Page wasn’t involved in writing.

• “Fool in the Rain” is the last song by the band to reach the pop charts. It has a soulful, playful sound.

The Doors – Soft Parade

Generally considered the worst studio album by the Doors, Soft Parade actually is very good. The band experimented with added strings to its music with mixed results, but there are several songs on the album that stand out among the best the band ever recorded. Some of the best material on Soft Parade is:

• “Touch Me” is a rollicking good pop song that has become one of the band’s most popular hits.

• “Wild Child” is a hard hitting rock number with a heavy bass line and some fine organ work.

• “Shaman’s Blues” is one of the forgotten Doors’ anthems, but it holds up quite well.

Aerosmith – Draw the Line

Draw the Line was a commercial success in 1977, but hasn’t lived up beyond the 1970s and even the band has been critical of the LP. It was recorded in an abandoned convent in New York – and the band was heavily into

drugs during most the sessions. Yet there’s a raw tension going through Draw the Line that’s difficult to ignore – and it features some of the band’s better songs. Highlights include:

• “Draw the Line” is an explosive guitar rocker that features driving guitars and some vocal free play by lead singer Steve Tyler. Lots of great screaming.

• Long and mournful “Kings and Queens” is an underrated gem by the band.

• The jamming “Milk Cow Blues” which the band rolled out for an unplugged performance on MTV. Awesome harmonica.

The Cure – Pornography

When Pornography was released in 1982, it shocked critics and was generally polarizing for fans. To say Pornography is dark isn’t giving credit to darkness. Yet it was th

is album where the band really found its sound for the foot gazing anthems that made it famous in the 1980s. Highlight (or low lights) include:

• “The Hanging Garden” features lyrics about waiting for animals to die. It’s brilliant stuff.

• The very depressing “Pornography” opens with a police siren and somebody definitely cried during the making of this song.

• “The Hanging Garden” is a Cure staple (also known as “A Single”) and it rocks in a depressing kind of way.

Musical Memory: U2

12 Great but Lesser Known Songs by R.E.M.

Labels: Aerosmith, Doors, Led Zeppelin, Music, Music Review, Pearl Jam, R.E.M., Rock, Talking Heads, The Cure, U2

StumbleUpon

Digg

Technorati

E-mail

Before we start banging our heads to the music, DaRK PaRTY wants to share with you five damn cool facts about AC/DC, one of the greatest heavy-metal bands on the planet.

5. Angus and Malcolm Young named the band AC/DC when they saw the acronym on the back of their sister’s sewing machine (meaning, of course, alternating current/direct current). They had no idea – none at all – that AC/DC was also a term used in homosexual circles for bisexuality until a taxi driver clued them in after a show several years later.

4. Bon Scott was not the first lead singer of the band. He was the second replacing Dave Evans in 1974. Most people think Scott died by choking on his vomit, but that’s not the case. He died in 1980 of acute alcohol poisoning after a night of binge drinking at MusicMachine, a London night club. He passed out in a car of a friend and the next day he was found inside dead.

3. The band has sold more than 150 million albums across the globe, including 68 million in the United States. Their mega-selling “Back in Black” is responsible for about one-third of that total.

2. The band fired drummer Phil Rudd in 1987 after he got into a fistfight with Malcolm Young. Rudd took Scott’s death poorly and fell into depression and alcoholism. After being fired Rudd bought a helicopter charter company and moved to New Zealand. He was rehired by the band in 1994 and remains the drummer to this day.

1. Before he selected his school boy uniform that has become his trademark, Angus Young wore other costumes on stage: Spiderman, Zorro, and even an ape suit.

Now on to the music. Here are DP’s picks for the 10 Best AC/DC songs of all time:

Whole Lotta Rosie

One of the best singles off the 1977 album “Let There Be Rock.” The song is about a real sexual experience Bon Scott had with an obese women who, apparently, was really, really good in bed. The song outlines her rather large assets: 42” by 39” by 56” and weighing in at 260 pounds. Fans have tried to find the real “Rosie,” but she has never surfaced. “Whole Lotta Rosie” is one of the songs current singer Brian Johnson sang when he auditioned as the replacement for Scott in 1980.

Walk All Over You

This is an underrated guitar rocker from “Highway to Hell” (1979). It has a great instrumental opening with Angus ripping through a staggered guitar solo which is soon joined by bass and drums before flying into the hard rhythm of the number.

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

This may be one of the greatest named heavy-metal songs. The title was actually stolen from the “Beany and Cecil” cartoon. A character of the show, Dishonest John, had a business card that read: “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. Holidays, Sundays and Special Rates.” The number is an advertisement for a gentleman who invites people to hire him for a menu of despicable deeds.

It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock n’ Roll)

A scorching rock n’ roller with bagpipes. How can you go wrong? His song was released on the “T.N.T.” album in 1975. The song outlines the dangers of being in a successful rock band. These include being robbed, beaten up, conned, ripped off, and getting old. Brian Johnson doesn’t perform the song live because it was a signature number by Bon Scott.

Hells Bells

Yes, grammatically it should be “Hell’s Bells,” but give Angus and his mates a pass here (remember they didn’t know what AC/DC meant either). The song starts with a death knell and then kicks into a hard rocker. The song is probably the band’s most popular and was written as a tribute to Scott on the “Back in Black” album from 1980. It’s also played at New England Patriots games to get the fans pumped up.

You Shook Me All Night Long

Another rocker from “Back in Black.” This one is probably the tightest song AC/DC has ever written. It’s a by the book heavy-metal pop number (with plenty of sex with lyrics like “She made a meal outta me and came back for more”), but AC/DC just let’s this one fly and it works.

Have a Drink on Me

Another tribute to Bon Scott from “Back in Black.” It’s a song about boozing with the boys.

For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)

From the 1981 album by the same name. The song has a cannon firing off in salute to AC/DC fans. Believe it or not, but the song is based on an ancient Roman salute: “Ave Caesar, morituri te salutant” (Latin for “Hail, Caesar, those who are about to die salute you”). In concert, the band usually plays this as their last song.

Who Made Who

This song was on an album of the same name that was the soundtrack to the 1986 Stephen King directed movie “Maximum Overdrive.” The movie is about trucks conquering the world and enslaving humans. The song reflects this very serious issue.

Thunderstruck

From the 1990 album of the same name. One of the finest rocking numbers by the band that is about an airplane journey Angus took where lightning stuck the wing of the plane. The song has become a staple at sporting event.

Read our post on 7 Really Angry Bands here

Read our tribute to R.E.M. here

Labels: AC/DC, Music, Music Review, Rock

StumbleUpon

Digg

Technorati

E-mail

13 Alternative Songs That Make You Think
You’re Cooler Than You Really Are

There are songs that make you believe you can take a punch to the face. You shake it off and then leap into a flying round-house kick that sends your attacker flying over the bar and crashing into the liquor bottles. As he howls in anguish through his shattered jaw, his frightened friends pluck bottle shards out of his ass.

You, of course, adjust your sunglasses (cause, hell, man, you wear Ray Bans at night) and the blond you were eying earlier sashays right up to you and gives your bicep one of those tender little squeezes that would make you giggle if you weren’t so goddamn cool.

“Wow,” she whispers breathlessly.

You notice she has Jessica Simpson’s legs and Scarlett Johansson’s chest.

You slap a crisp one hundred bill on the bar – you know, for the bartender’s trouble. Tom Brady slides over with a shot of Jack Daniels and you tap glasses with him before shooting it down. He slaps you on the back and you gesture to Jack Nicholson and Clint Eastwood. They want to know if you’ll meet up with them later.

Whatever, dudes.

Kirsten Dunst calls you to her table, but you ignore her. Instead you head to the door with the blond. Outside Bruce Springsteen gives you a high five and you climb into your black Porsche 911 T.

When you get to the hotel room, the blond heads right to the Jacuzzi and you hang up your leather jacket and .44 Colt in the walk-in closet. Then you tune the room stereo to one of these songs.

Connected
Stereo MC’s

We’re not big hip hop guys, but there’s something about a duo of pale British white guys trying to get soulful that we dig. This song was really it for the Stereo MCs who disappeared faster than a banana in a gorilla cage after “Connected” hit number 20 on the Billboard Hot 100. Best part of the song is the disco sample from “(Let me) Let me be Your Lover” by Jimmy Bo Horne. “Connected” has a back beat that makes you bang your head up and down with a frown. Chicks dig it that.

Dragula
Rob Zombie

This song makes you want to burn down a church filled with nuns. Hard to believe this evil, little number is about the drag racer featured in The Munsters. It’s from Rob Zombie’s first album “Hellbilly Deluxe” and made popular by appearing on the soundtrack to “The Matrix.”

Low
Cracker

“Low” is one of those songs that just… rocks. It’s got a wicked heavy drum and bass line and just builds and builds until well… you rock out. It’s the best song from a rather bland American rock band that is generally known for being a nerdy group of angst-ridden babies. How they ended up recording a song this cool is one of the greatest mysteries in music history.

Hey Man Nice Shot
Filter

This is industrial music at its finest. It starts with the lyrics: “I wish I could’ve met you. Now it’s a bit too late.” The song is about the public suicide of Pennsylvania State Treasurer Budd Dwyer, who shot himself in the head with .357 magnum during a press conference. The music builds into a grinding crescendo with lead singer Richard Patrick screaming: “Hey Man, Nice Shot!” The band insists the song is about Dwyer’s guts and determination, but if you listen to this song long enough you’ll want to fire bomb your boss’s house.

December
Collective Soul

This song takes it down a notch from Filter, but it’s got that slick, scowling sound that makes you want to light up a cigarette and blow smoke into somebody’s face. Collective Soul could let it rip when the band was in the mood. The band would probably lose a fight against a group of kindergarten girls, but we don’t need our cool soundtrack musicians to actually be tough – just sound it.

Push It
Garbage

Garbage is so intense that if you invited them to your house you’d probably piss on your own rug. And “Push It” is their most intense song (so you’re never getting that yellow stain off). The greatest part of this song is when lead singer Shirley Manson (one of the coolest women in rock history) has a sampling of the Beach Boys telling her “don’t worry, baby.” The video contains an assassination scene.

Someday
Nickelback

This should be a song for wimps. The lyrics are about some she-man whining about his relationship coming to an end and wishing he and his girlfriend could just talk it through. Yeah, I know, I want to pistol whip the pathetic bastard as well. What saves the sorry ass lyrics is the very nasty guitar work by Ryan Peake. It scorches.

Souljacker
The Eels

The Eels are a popular indie band from Britain. But don’t hold that against them. This song is like sticking a piece of dynamite up your ass. It just explodes with rough and tumble lyrics. It’s about skulls and little Johnny shooting up his classroom, and little Sally not liking her daddy very much. The driving guitar, screaming lyrics, and brutal drum work makes you want smash your car into the next guy who plays Madonna on his car stereo.

Not For You
Pearl Jam

Pearl Jam is cool. Anyone who says otherwise should stop wearing lipstick to work (that goes for the chicks as well). Eddie Vedder says the song is about how music exploits young people and tries to sell them everything under the sun. That may be so, but when he starts screaming “Not for you!” you feel like pounding the guy next to you with a beer bottle.

Burden in my Hand
Soundgarden

Soundgarden isn’t just cool – they’re dangerous. Put them in a room with Collective Soul and, well, we can’t be held responsible for Collective Soul’s collective wedgies. In this ripping piece of grunge masterwork, lead singer Chris Connell sings about murder and dealing with the guilt through alcohol abuse. You won’t find this one in a Disney movie.

Killing in the Name
Rage Against the Machine

Rage’s signature song. It’s a furious rant against conformity and ends with lead singer Zak de la Rocha howling: “Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me!” Try not beating the crap out of a Republican after listening to this one.

It’s Been Awhile
Staind

Staind is from Springfield, Massachusetts, which is cool in and of itself. This is a guitar heavy reflection on how bad lead singer Aaron Lewis’s life has been: drug addiction, failed relationships, and an abusive father. Yet he blames only himself. We’d like to buy Aaron a beer and then sucker punch him. Just for fun.

Pale Shelter
Tears for Fears

By all rights this song should be very far away from this list. It’s by borderline girlie band Tears for Fears and it’s about parental love. Good Christ it pains us to even write that. But you know what? It kicks major ass.

Labels: Alternative, Music, Music Review, Rock

StumbleUpon

Digg

Technorati

E-mail

Some things age well: wine, cheese, and Heather Locklear.

Some things age poorly: piano ties, day-glow headbands, and music videos, especially music videos from the 1980s.

Spend too much time watching videos from MTV’s heyday (remember the astronauts and when the station actually played music videos?) and you get a bad feeling that the 1980s weren’t as cool as we all remember.

Disturbing questions emerge from our latest list of truly awful videos from the Neon Decade: “Should Lionel Richie have done some jail time for Hello?” “Did Crowded House channel the Village People for Something So Strong?” “Has Falco ever really run before?” And can somebody please give Steve Perry a goddamn hair cut?

Anyway, our list of the 10 Really Bad Videos from the 1980s was so popular that we’ve come up with a sequel: “Son of 10 Really Bad Videos from the 1980s.”

Crowded House
Something So Strong

This gag-inducing video (it takes place in a barn with the frolicking members of the band wearing bright outfits and surrounded by fawning farm girls) makes Boy George seem like Rambo in comparison. The happiness being expressed by the band as they tease and dance and get into all kinds of mischief projects this into the realm of gayest video ever made. Yes, we all understand that they were going for a Mentos-kind-of-thing, but the satire is so subtle that it barely exists (see video above).

Lionel Richie
Hello

Celebrate stalking with this ode to creepy old guys with unhealthy obsessions with young women. Lionel Richie plays a teacher (a drama teacher, no less) infatuated with a pretty, blind girl who is his student. He spends the whole video following her around and crying out “Hello!” to her (and carefully avoiding her friends). Lionel puts his patented “porn” mustache to good use here. The creepiness intensifies until the very end when the confused girl falls into his slimy grasp. Be prepared to need a shower after watching this one (see video below).

Olivia Newton-John
Physical

Olivia Newton-John as a gym whore. She spends the first part of the video coyly flirting with a group of muscle-bound oafs in orange bikini briefs working out in some kind of neon, metallic gym. The next half she spends abusing a group of overweight men just trying to drop a couple of pounds on treadmills and exercise bikes. Poor bastards. The highlight is when she pours baby oil on the roly-poly (and probably carbuncle riddled) back of some unshaven ape. In the end though, the muscled guys all pair up (I’m not kidding) and Olivia ends up with the fat guy. And, oh yeah, she wears a white headband.

Journey
Separate Ways

It’s difficult to be polite when it comes to Journey. So let’s just get this out of the way. They suck. And this video is exhibit number one. Steve Perry – who tries to look really intense here by bunching his finely plucked eyebrows – wears tight jeans and a checkered sleeveless t-shirt. But give him credit for sticking with the mullet. The best part of this video – with the exception of the mole on Steve Perry’s chin – is the band pretending to play invisible instruments. Now that takes talent. Don’t miss the keyboard solo!

Toni Basil
Mickey

We guess one shouldn’t expect much from a singer named after a spice. This is a cheerleader video so one should have expected them to hire actual cheerleaders for the filming. Alas, they hired a group of apparently drunk rejects who can’t get in sync. But worst of all is the dancing of Toni Basil. Oh. My. God. When did skipping and clapping at the same time become so difficult? Get ready to die of boredom. And, hey, Toni, fire your make-up arrest.

Doctor and the Medics
Spirit in the Sky

Say this about the good Doctor – he’s got better make-up than Toni Basil. But let’s face the fact about Doctor and the Medics – they were a KISS rip-off band – with less talent. The band’s video of Norman Greenbaum’s 1969 hit single displays its lack of creativity and originality. Nothing happens, except that the Doctor climbs a ladder. He’s a damn good climber. Get it? The song is titled “Spirit in the Sky” so the Doctor climbs a ladder to get closer to it. The best part of this miserable experience is the red-headed drummer who seems to be on the verge of quitting band during the video.

Styx
Mr. Roboto

Give Styx credit for beautifully blown dried hair, but we’ve got a secret – this video is retarded – earnest – but retarded. It’s a concept song gone completely haywire. “I’m not a hero! I’m not a savior!” Really? Who knew! The Japanese robots who dance like robots are more racist than the old Charlie Chan movies. There’s only one question you have after watching this: Why?

Bow Wow Wow
I Want Candy

Here’s a free piece of advice: don’t film punk rockers on a beach. Punk rockers are so pale they’re practically blue and the bright sunshine makes them look like bottles of bleach. Punk rockers are also skinny and blotchy and look like shit in bathing suits. But the worst part of the “I Want Candy” video is that lead singer Annabella Lwin is displayed as a sexpot (even frolicking in a wet t-shirt and seductively licking an ice cream cone) despite being only 15 years old. One almost expects Lionel Richie to prance onto the screen and start stalking the poor girl. Then there’s the matter of the giant candy canes sticking up out of the sand.

Taco
Puttin’ on the Ritz

Beware of German pop artists. Taco’s face has more moves than a sock puppet on an epileptic. It’s scary expressive (and apparently he hired Toni Basil’s make-up artist because his cheeks glow like cherries). The most horrifying sequence here is the tap dance routine with Taco and a group of black-faced, tuxedo-clad men. Very politically correct. Taco even sports a day-glow cane – because I’m sure he thinks it’s very surreal. If you’re blue try watching this debacle.

Falco
Der Kommissar

Let’s also add a warning for Austrian pop artists. Falco (who is the lone survivor of triplets – which is creepy in and of itself) runs like a girl in front of a screen showing traffic. That’s it. It’s the entire video – Falco running and singing. Unfortunately none of the cars are real and don’t run him down. This may be the worst video on the list. The only way to improve it would be to have Lionel Richie chasing him.

Labels: Music, Rock

StumbleUpon

Digg

Technorati

E-mail

Labels: Music, Rock, Women

StumbleUpon

Digg

Technorati

E-mail