DaRK PaRTY ReVIEW
::Literate Blather::
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Under God's Right Arm: The Cult of Darwinism

By: Rev. Colson Crosslick

The greatest threat to Christianity today isn’t homosexuality (although it may be a close second). Nor is it the runaway train of sex, drugs, and loose morals being pumped out as movies and video games from Hollywood. Heck, it's not even those crazy Mormons.

It is, my friends, Darwinism.

This misguided “theory” has migrated from the intellectual corners of the scientific community to the streets of mainstream America resulting in a movement toward atheism – or as I like to call it “God Hating.” Don’t you long for the days when non-believers and heretics kept their ignorance to themselves? Or for when good, God-fearing Christians were allow to burn these demon seeds at the stake?

Unfortunately, those gracious days are behind us. Now we are faced with an onslaught of God Haters like authors Daniel Dennett (“Breaking the Spell”) and Richard Dawkins (“The God Delusion”). Part of me feels bad for these alleged intellectuals (Dennett is a philosopher – whatever that means! – and Dawkins is a biologist) because they will be burning in hell for all of eternity.

Bring some marshmallows, boys!

Both of them argue that God does not exist and that the human need for religion is some kind of biological impulse gone awry. Clearly both men have not read the Bible – the word of God. Hard to argue that God doesn’t exist when he left us a very heavy tome filled with his wisdom. Note to Dennett and Dawkins – you can find the Bible in any book store in the country (and in just about every hotel room!).

There you can read this nugget from Matthew: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchers, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.” (Matthew 23:27)

I think that about says it all! For Christians out there who have done a good job of avoiding science in favor of home-schooling and religious studies allow me to give you a crash course in Darwinism.

Charles Darwin was a bald scientist with very bushy sideburns (you should see pictures of the guy – what a puss!). He wrote a book called “The Origin of Species” that many science and fact-based people believe explains evolution and how humans, animals, plants, and insects came into being. The book is very boring, but it argues that organisms gradually evolve through a process called natural selection. Natural selection is the theory (which is a fancy way of saying “guess”) that individual organisms struggle to survive and those with the best or most favorable characteristics will be more likely to survive. As a result, those favorable traits will be passed onto their offspring and become the dominant characteristics among organisms. Blah, blah, blah.

It’s this outlandish and wildly irresponsible theory where Darwin believes that monkeys evolved into human beings. What’s next? Ants that evolve into talking lions? How about the dinosaurs becoming birds? According to nut jobs like Dawkins and Dennett, Nathan Lane could evolve into a non-gay man.

You can almost see God rolling his eyes in heaven over this ridiculous notion. Scientists want us to put their trust in them – but aren’t they the ones who developed the nuclear bomb and can’t even figure out a good diet?

The problem with Darwinism (and the science it is based on) is that it often relies too broadly on facts rather than on common sense. Where I come from, we go by the old saw “Keep It Simple Stupid.” In other words, the simple solution or answer is usually the right one. So let me ask all of you, which scenario is more likely:

Scenario #1

Life evolved slowly over hundreds of million years with animals and plants branching off into different species and sub-species as they began to react and modify their traits to adapt to their environment. The stronger traits – the ones that helped them survive best – dominated and the weaker characteristics simply died out. The result was a natural balance where plants, animals, insects all live, thrive and, prey on each other in a complicated and complex eco-system. From this system, humans eventually evolved from apes over millions of years.

Scenario #2

An all-mighty, all-knowing, all-powerful Supreme Being created the universe in six days. He created man in his image from a mold made of dust and breathed life into him. From man’s rib, he created woman and then put them in the Garden of Eden on Earth. All of us originate from this first pair of human beings.

I know, I know, the second scenario has a certain poetry to it, but it also rings true. You can feel its truth! The first scenario is just silly. Do you know how many things had to fall into place for man to be created? Lots of them. You’d have a better chance of winning the lottery!

No wonder Darwinism is a theory – and not even a good one.

I’ve developed a new habit. Every time I hear someone blabbing on about Darwinism – I send them a Bible. Maybe I should do the same for Dennett and Dawkins. Then, maybe, they’ll learn something.


(The Rev. Colson Crosslick is pastor of the Pretty Good Shepherd Church in Ripsaw, Arkansas. In the past, he has called for a boycott of all books except the Bible. He also writes the regularly appearing column Under God's Right Arm for DaRK PaRTY.)



Click the links below to read more of Rev. Crosslick's incredible insights on:

The Disease of Liberalism

Satan & Comic Books




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Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Under God's Right Arm: Bringing Intelligence Back to Science

By: Rev. Colson Crosslick

It is truly tragic that the God-fearing electorate in Kansas allowed themselves to be duped by scientists with PhDs who convinced them to recently vote against two incumbent school board members who want to teach Intelligent Design in public schools. Many borderline communist publications have trumpeted this as a big win for science, but, in fact, the opposite holds true! School children in Kansas will be deprived of learning about the serious scientific flaws in the “theory” of evolution and about Intelligent Design, a Bible-backed science that stands Darwinian Theory on its ear.

For those of you unfamiliar with biology, chemistry, alchemy, geology, and astrology, allow me to provide you with a crash course in Darwinian Theory and Intelligent Design, so you can better understand the grave danger that teaching a single view of how the world was created undermines the fact that God produced every animal, plant, and human being in existence.

Darwin’s Theory of Evolution

Charles Darwin was a scientist born in the past. He wrote a book called “The Origin of Species” that many colleges and universities not affiliated with any religious organization now consider one of the pivotal works in science and the pre-eminent work in biology. Darwin tediously argues that organisms gradually evolve through a process called natural selection. Natural selection is the theory (a theory mind you!) that individual organisms struggle to survive and those with the best or most favorable characteristics will be more likely to survive. As a result, those favorable traits will be passed onto their offspring and become the dominant characteristics among organisms.

This is where Darwin gets the nutty idea that human beings were monkeys that “evolved” into humans (I’m sure Adam and Eve are chuckling about this up in heaven). Technically, through Darwin’s theory, one could argue that an oak tree could evolve into Boy George! Everyone knows that the only being powerful enough to turn a tree into a has-been British pop star is the Lord God. Darwinists also believe the world to be more than 4.5 billion years old – even though Biblical evidence clearly places the age of the earth at a few thousand years.

Yet despite holes in Darwin’s Theory large enough to drive a NASCAR speedster through, the anti-God scientific establishment continues to embrace the evidence of the chemical and biological origins of life to be beyond dispute. Clearly these scientists need a bit more education!

Intelligent Design

Some liberal troublemakers will likely call Intelligent Design a fancy way of saying creationism. This, of course, is nonsense! Creationism is the belief that God created the world in one week about 6,000 years ago – and rejects the idea that single cell creatures gradually evolved into eagles, bears, whales, and Nathan Lane over the course of millions of years. While creationism is indeed our most probable truth when it comes to explaining the origins of man and the universe, Intelligent Design does not get so specific and is flexible enough to embrace other religions into its doctrine.

Intelligent Design, which is championed by some of the brainiest scientists in the world working at the Discovery Institute, promotes the rational idea that Darwin’s evolution theory is simply too limited to explain the complexities of the origin of species. That it is only logical to assume that a “designer” (God, if you will) was involved in the process. Is that so radical a notion?

Not to most Americans! According to the good folks at Gallup, about 46 percent of Americans believe in strict creationism and 36 percent believe God was an active guide in the evolutionary process. That’s a whopping 82 percent of the American public who reject sound science in favor of Christian religious beliefs! So although the ideas presented in evolution are supported by a large body of scientific evidence that is widely accepted by the scientific establishment, most Americans won’t allow themselves to be brainwashed by these anti-Christian zealots. Good for them!

Clearly, the Darwinists want to censor rival scientific theories – even if they are believed by the majority of Americans. Talk about being anti-science! Despite the bombastic rheoric by Darwinists, Intelligent Design isn’t bad science, but a more compelling and rational science than evolution.

The misinformed citizens of Kansas may have rejected two Intelligent Design school board members, but it is only a minor setback. I’m confident that Intelligent Design will soon be the standard of teaching evolution in public schools and that the American people are smart enough to realize that everything you need to know about life can be found in the pages of the Holy Bible.

Now if only our scientific community was smart enough to realize that!

(The Rev. Colson Crosslick is pastor of the Pretty Good Shepherd Church in Ripsaw, Arkansas. In the past, he has called for a ban of the Darwin Awards. He also writes the regularly appearing column Under God's Right Arm for DaRK PaRTY.)

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