1. Abstinence really doesn’t work
Palin wants to spend U.S. tax money to teach America’s children abstinence, yet she can’t even convince her own daughter to follow that advice. One wonders if Palin regrets not slipping her daughter, now five months pregnant, a box of condoms.
2. Palin calls her husband Todd “the First Dude.”
How nice that the henpecked second in command gets a cute title and is allowed – on occasion – to go snowmobiling.
3. She’s mean and vindictive
One of her first acts after being elected mayor of Wasilla (population 6,715) was to fire the police chief, librarian, public works director and finance director because she felt they didn’t support her administration.
4. She has less than two years of experience as Governor of Alaska
Alaska has about 680,000 residents. If it were a city in the United States it would barely crack the Top 20 largest. Memphis has more people than Alaska.
5. McCain is too rash
His campaign can say what they like about how much they investigated Palin, but reality is that McCain liked her and pulled the trigger before looking into her background. When your VP choice keeps making headlines because her life resembles an episode of Jerry Springer – you screwed up.
6. Palin is under investigation for abuse of power
She alleged fired Alaska Public Safety Commissioner Walter Monegan in retaliation for not terminating her former brother-in-law an Alaska State Trooper who is involved in a messy child custody battle with Palin’s sister.
7. She is a member of the Wasilla Assembly of God Church
Her pastor (and a lifelong friend), Ed Kalnins, has preached that critics of George W. Bush will be banished to hell.
8. She’s a pro-life nut job
Palin is an anti-abortion extremist who wants to ban legal abortions even in cases of rape or incest.
9. Palin believes Iraq is a holy war
During a talk at her church, Palin said: “there is a plan (for the Iraq War) and that plan is God’s plan.”
10. So much for family values
She eloped with her high school boyfriend when she was 24. Her teenage daughter is pregnant. Her sister’s former husband is accused of using a cattle prod on his child. She hired a man reprimanded for sexual harassment for the state’s highest law enforcement position.
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Labels: Parody, Politics, Sarah Palin