Dear Tiffany:
First, I want to apologize for saying you dress like a prostitute. It was a lame attempt at humor. I had a long, informative meeting with our human resources director and she correctly educated me about the fashion sense of young people. So I now understand that your hip-hugging jeans that show off your cranberry thong and your tight, belly shirt that reveals the butterfly tattoo on your lower back is just a generational interpretation of casual Friday. Does it really matter that the hookers around
But you know me! As our human resource director explained: I’m always using humor to shield my own “insecurities” – whatever that psycho babble means. Unfortunately, some of my jokes fall flat. By flat, I mean, lackluster, not you know, any reference to your breasts. I mean you aren’t flat at all, quite the opposite, in fact. Not that I would ever notice the ample size of your surgically enhanced breasts even though you wear your shirt unbuttoned down to your navel most days. Not that there’s anything wrong with that either. Our human resources director told me that black, lace bras are considered a crucial fashion accessory these days, even if they appear to be two sizes too small. Hey, I’m just a 50 year old department head. What do I know about fashion?
Second, I want to also apologize for saying you were an “unintelligent feces” or something to that effect. I realize that you are a recent graduate of
I will, no doubt, have to try and make up for the colossal waste of time and money to the client, who flew in from
As our human resource director kindly reminded me: we are trying to foster a safe and friendly work environment here. A place where people can dress like sluts and act like fucking retards. So, even despite my outburst, you should fit in nicely around here.
Sincerely,
Chuck
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To: Chuck McCutcheon
From: Tiffany Gosselin
CC: Human Resources Department
Subject: RE: A Sincere Apology
whatever… and dream on…my melons r 100% natrual...
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To: Chuck McCutcheon
From: Human Resources Department
CC: Tiffany Gosselin
Subject: RE: RE: A Sincere Apology
Chuck, please come to my office immediately.
Betty Grables
Human Resources Director