DaRK PaRTY ReVIEW
::Literate Blather::
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Under God's Right Arm: The Drug Addled World of Children's Television

The True Story of How H.R. Pufnstuf Destroyed a Boy's Life





By Rev. Colson Crosslick

Stevie Shetkan is a member of my congregation at the Pretty Good Shepherd Church in Ripsaw, Arkansas. He’s a reformed heroin addict and male prostitute (who admittedly has nice thighs) who used to do anything – and I mean anything – to score his next fix.

When Stevie let the shining golden light lasers of Jesus into his life – his life turned around. He’s now a successful day laborer living in a boarding house and earning just enough money to squeeze by while paying his ex-wife alimony and child support. His life wasn’t always this good.

Stevie used to live in an expensive hotel in downtown Little Rock, wear fashionable new clothes, and turn “tricks” with rock stars, lawyers, and businessmen while pumping heroin into his veins.

How did Stevie Shetkan become a drug-addled vamp?

The answer will amaze your Christian sensibilities – the TV show “H.R. Pufnstuf.” The younger folks among you might not remember this staple of Saturday mornings. Supposedly it was a live-action puppet show full of fun and innocent silliness. The plot revolved around a young boy and his magic flute being transformed to another realm lead by a friendly dragon named H.R. Pufnstuf.

But in reality “H.R. Pufnstuf” was a subversive counterculture TV show that lured innocent children into the drug culture of the 1970s and 1980s. The program, as you’ll see, urged children to smoke marijuana and try acid – two dangerous illegal narcotics that lead children to cocaine and heroin addiction as well as to experimentation with the dark pleasures of homosexuality.

The show is almost as bad as the “Curious George” books – one of the most anti-Christian children’s series in world history. It was also the grandfather of other modern shows allegedly for children, but actually subversive liberal brainwashing programs (“Barney” and “The Teletubbies,” for example).

The “H.R. Pufnstuf” program was the creation of two evil men – Sid and Marty Krofft (who have a mysterious Jewish sounding name – not that I have anything against Hebrews other than they scorn the Lord Christ Jesus). The Kroffts are responsible for many children’s TV shows such as “Land of the Lost,” “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters,” and “The Bugaloos.”

But “H.R. Pufnstuf” was their shining tribute to illegal drugs. How do I know this? Because, my friends, the evidence can be found on the Internet. Like many good things from that era, H.R. Pufnstuf was full of nods to the prevailing stoner counter-culture, and included many sly pot and drug references,” according to the Web site of Cannabis Culture Magazine (a left-wing liberal pro-drug rag).

The loony liberal magazine goes on to say:

Although the marijuana and drug references are sometimes subtle, they are laced throughout the entire series. Some highlights include Witchiepoo offering a minion a "roach beef sandwich," Freddy the Flute getting turned into a magic mushroom, Pufnstuf telling Cling and Clang to "stop sniffing" the magic smoke, and Jimmy dosing Witchiepoo with a Love Potion.”

Then there is the matter of H.R. Pufnstuf’s name – which is pronounced “Puffing Stuff.” He’s also a magic dragon in much the same way as “Puff the Magic Dragon,” a marijuana tribute song by Peter, Paul, and Mary.

Marty Krofft, in a moment of candor, has even admitted that H.R. Pufnstuf was an intentional marijuana reference. The sly evildoer! But all you have to do is watch the show. It’s obvious! Look at the trippy colors, the weird props, and the talking mushrooms practically begging children to fire up the water bong.

“Every episode is like an acid trip,” Stevie Shetkan told me. “After watching it, I wanted to smoke pot like you read about. And I didn’t even know what pot was!”

He soon found out from his older brother (who was also hypnotized by the uber-liberal show). First came the dope – then came the hard drugs – and then, of course, the sex with horny, well-toned men. These kinds of “children” shows should be banned – and we should be going at “Barney” and “Teletubbies” just hard!

Stop them before they turn your child into another Stevie Shetkan.


(The Rev. Colson Crosslick is pastor of the Pretty Good Shepherd Church in Ripsaw, Arkansas. In the past, he has called for a boycott of all TV programs dedicated to children that don't replay excerpts of the Holy Bible. He also writes the regularly appearing column Under God's Right Arm for DaRK PaRTY.)


Enter the intellectual Christian world of Rev. Colson Crosslick:

The Sin of Halloween

Comic Books and Satan

Dungeons & Dragons -- The Devil's Game

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9 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm speechless. Is this for real? I tend to think not, but I'm not quite sure.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dear Anonymous:
Clearly you've been watching too much HR Pufnstuf. Open your heart to the Lord Jesus and see the light.
Yours in God,
Colson

Blogger Bybee said...
Oh, I remember this show! Pass the bong...

Blogger GFS3 said...
I'll bet you addicted to "Teletubbies" as well!

Blogger SQT said...
Some people just have too much time on their hands.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The show was subversive, but not in the manner you portray. Yes, the show was counter-culture and "Pufnstuf" was probably a veiled reference to marijuana, but so what? The show never advocated drugs. Instead, it encouraged imagination and taught kids that good triumphs over evil control-freaks like Witchiepoo. It was subversive in that it encouraged the defiance of abusive authority (much like we see from our Federal government and cults like the one you likely belong to). I watched the show and never got into drugs. You sound like you may have, though.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Are you serious...your saying that drugs cause homosexuality???? There is something severely wrong with you...I'm not a homosexual but u still have issues to get help...and could u b a little more racist by saying the creators sound Jewish, cause of Jesus...who was Jewish too...get help, better yet get help, smoke some pot then get laid u psycho

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You're insane..

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Theres no Jesus, no heaven and no god. When you die you will be forgotten and hopefully your shit will be sold off to feed the homeless. Least in death you have done something worthy.

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