Historian Michael W. Kauffman’s Account of John Wilkes Booth and the Lincoln Conspiracies Makes a Captivating Read

On the evening of Good Friday, April 14, 1865, John Wilkes Booth stared through a boring hole he made in the door to the balcony where Abraham Lincoln sat with his wife and other couple enjoying the play “Our American Cousin.”

Booth, a famous stage actor from a well-established theater family, steeled his nerves and walked unannounced into the balcony. He pressed a .44 caliber single shot derringer against the back of Lincoln’s head and fired. He hissed: “Sic temper tyrannis!” (Latin for “Thus always for tyrants”). Lincoln slumped back in his rocking chair.

Brandishing a knife, Booth slashed the wrist of Major Henry Rathbone and leaped from the balcony railing to the stage below. Turning to look at the audience, Booth lifted the dagger over his head and thundered: “The South shall be free!”

Then Booth darted across the stage, out through the back of Ford’s Theater, and jumped onto the back of his waiting mount. He disappeared down the back alley and into the darkness.

The bullet lodged behind the left eye of the president and killed him at 7:22 a.m., April 15, 1865.

This is how Lincoln, the 16^th president of the United States, met his untimely end. The assassination has long been analyzed and debated, but Historian Michael W. Kauffman’s history “American Brutus: John Wilkes Booth and the Lincoln Conspiracies” may be the best account yet of those dark times at the end of the U.S. Civil War.

Kauffman’s painstaking research sorts through the historical records: diary entries, newspaper accounts, letters, court records, and eyewitness accounts – dismissing everything that can’t be validated by more than one source.

What’s left is a dramatic and authoritative account of Booth’s politics and motivations as he launches into a conspiracy to over throw the Union government and try to give the Confederacy one last chance at victory.

The best way to delve into this captivating history is simply to list the fascinating information Kauffman unleashes on his readers:

• One of the enduring myths of the Lincoln assassination is that Booth broke his leg after leaping from the balcony onto the stage and then limped to the rear exit to make his escape. Kauffman explains that originally Booth blamed the broken leg on his horse falling over during his escape, but changed that version to it happening on stage to make his exploit seem more daring and dangerous.
  

• Major Rathbone, the man slashed by Booth during Lincoln’s murder, later married Clara Harris, who was with him and Lincoln at Ford’s Theater. Rathbone was haunted by the assassination and later murdered Harris and tried to kill himself. He was committed to an insane asylum in Germany where he spent the rest of his life.
  

• Booth was a master of manipulation and perfected the art of blackmail and guilt by association. He carefully framed each of his conspirators, building up a cache of evidence against them. It helped him keep his conspirators in line and prevent even the weakest willed among them from turning against him.
  

• Booth originally planned to kidnap the president, but changed his mind a few days before Good Friday because of a speech Lincoln delivered supporting voting rights for freed black slaves. Kauffman argues that Booth may, in fact, just have run out of options with the Civil War coming to an official end. Murder was the only option left.
  

• Booth assigned himself to kill Lincoln. He sent Lewis Powell, a former Rebel soldier, to murder Secretary of State William H. Seward. Powell stabbed Seward in the face several times, but he survived. George Atzerodt was supposed to kill Vice President Andrew Johnson, but lost his nerve.
  

• Booth’s elaborate conspiracy stretched through many people and places, but only eight people were tried for being involved in the conspiracy and it’s likely that Dr. Samuel Mudd was innocent. Powell, Atzerodt, David Herold and Mary Surrott were hanged to death for their roles in the conspiracy.
  

• Booth fled for 12 days after the assassination in the company of Herod. He was shocked at the negative reaction his deed caused, especially in the South. Booth thought of himself as a hero and had a difficult time dealing with the reality that he was a villain. Booth and Herod were finally trapped by Union Calvary in a tobacco barn in Virginia. Booth was shot in the face by Sgt. Boston Corbtett. His last words were: “Useless, useless.”
  

• Kauffman concludes: “If Booth intended to make himself a modern Brutus, he succeeded too well. Like the assassination of Julius Caesar, the killing of Lincoln did not accomplish the conspirators’ aims. It only martyred the victim, elevating him to secular sainthood and leading ultimately to the disillusionment and death of the assassin.”

Labels: book review, books, History, John Wilkes Booth, Lincoln, Michael W. Kauffman

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DaRK PaRTY: Okay, genetically modified tomatoes kill most of the world's population. It's so ludicrous that it makes perfect sense! Where in the world did the idea for the alternative universe that has been the setting for your popular witch Rachel Morgan?

Kim: It makes sense to me, too, but I've had emails from genetic engineers who assure me that it is impossible for a mammalian gene to spontaneously adhere to a vegetable strand of DNA. I don't know. I still have my doubts. But you asked about the idea for an alternate universe. Actually, I had to create an alternative universe to make the story work at all, and making tomatoes the means to humanities destruction just seemed . . . right.

As a general rule, urban fantasies fall into two camps. Either the supernatural beings are living in hiding and known only to a few, or the supernatural beings are out of the closet, bringing fear and distrust into play. I didn't want to deal with the fear, so I decided that supernaturals living among us peacefully might be more plausible if I moved the "coming out party" into the past, hence the alternative history starting way back with Watson, Crick, and Roslyn Franklin. Beginning at the dawn of our understanding of genetics also ties in nicely to the themes of genetic manipulation that carry through from book to book to book. It's almost like background music to the trials that Rachel deals with.

But if you really want to get down to the first idea of the story itself, it grew from throwing a witch, a vampire, and a pixy into a bar, and seeing what happened.

DP: What attracts you to write about witchcraft and the supernatural?

Kim: I grew up reading both science fiction and fantasy, mixing Heinlein and Grimm fairy tales with no prejudice. When I picked up that pen for the first time, it was second nature to try to blend the best of both genres. For me, basing a story about witches and vampires in a present-day society helps ground the magic itself, allowing the reader to immerse himself easier and accept the magical aspects with less resistance. It's easier to relate to and sympathize with a character that has the same problems of rent, relationships, dropped calls, and the cops staking out your house. Well, maybe not the cops, but you get the idea.

The concept of magic itself has always fascinated me, and though I know you can't wave a wand and make magic happen, the idea of "what if I could" keeps me trying to find ways that it might. I have a background in the sciences, and the "black box" magic in many stories as I was growing up bothered me. As a reader, I will accept that you can wave a wand and magic happens, but as a writer, I want a plausible reason to go along with it. I want the magic to be backed up with some thought, making me have to go a step or two further to see that, alas, it's just a story. Hopefully by that point, the reader will realize that the magic is the spice, and the true story is of a character dealing with real issues of love, family, security, and the shades of gray morality that touch all of us.

DP: We understand that you guard your privacy closely, but what did you do before you became a full-time writer? And have you been surprised by the enormous success of Rachel Morgan series?

Kim: Before I became a full-time writer, I had a handful of odd jobs. A research project had me running trap lines for two summers, tagging and releasing chipmunks, mice, and one really mad weasel. After graduation, I worked at a large company babysitting sterile algae and later, documenting an experimental product from production, to testing, to disposal. I worked as a vet technician for awhile, until I got bitten one too many times. I was never bitten by the wild animals, but the tame ones were vicious. All of my jobs after a certain point were part-time, leaving me weekends and half-days to work on my writing. I always treated my writing before finding publication as a part-time job. I figured, if I wanted to write for a living, I ought to write like I made my living at it. My favorite piece of advice for aspiring authors is write like you've got the contract.

Have I been surprised by the success of the Rachel Morgan series? Absolutely. Every writer has daydreams of hitting high on the New York Times bestseller list, and to have that dream become a reality is always a shock. But on the other hand, it shouldn't be a complete surprise. There is, behind any success, untold hours put in by the artist, the support of a spouse or significant other, and the leap-of-faith backing of the parent-company's marketing machine. That's not even getting into the support of the readers. The surprise should stem from everything coming together perfectly: the raw story, the unsurpassed editing, and the priceless chaperoning of an infant book, the pinpoint marketing, and just plain luck. And when it works, it is fantastic.

DP: Unlike many authors who throw up walls -- you embrace your fans by maintaining your own web site, creating a Yahoo! Groups, and signing books when fans send you them. It's so refreshing. What's your philosophy about your readers?

Kim: Thank you! I'm glad you noticed. (Grin). It's a lot of work to keep up with everything, but for me, the rewards have come back ten-fold. I like my readers, and they are a big part of me finding the success that I have. They have interesting ideas and I enjoy seeing what they're getting out of my work. It is gratifying to know that the hours I put in on these characters and their moral dilemmas, are living past the pages and being talked about in open forums.

By nature, I'm a raging introvert, and when I first started seeing the possibility of becoming a well-known author, I took the time to see how other authors handled their reader relations, not seeing any benefit to walling myself off, and tons of opportunities if I learned the new trick of being accessible. The Internet makes it easy, and if I can make a prediction, we are probably going to see this becoming more of the norm as times goes on, especially in the sci-fi/fantasy genres. Fortunately, it's the writer who sets their own boundaries, barriers, and limits, and in most cases, the reader respects them. I've gained a lot from staying accessible, and I hope that I can continue to maintain some contact as my time becomes even more parceled out.

DP: Your books have the best titles -- "A Fistful of Charms" and "The Good, the Bad, and the Undead" to name two. So what's the deal with Clint Eastwood?

Kim: Ah, the Clint Eastwood titles! There's a reason for that. I've always enjoyed the characters that Clint played, especially in the westerns. The loner coming in off the prairie, able to solve the problems of the town but not really wanting to, and not necessarily in a legal way. It sort of reminds me of Rachel. If Clint had a pixy for backup and a boot fetish. And maybe a perchance to talk a lot more. And perhaps a convertible instead of a horse. And a love interest cluttering things up. Okay, maybe they aren't alike at all, but they both have strong personalities and do what needs to be done, regardless of the law.

Another, less flashy reason for the Clint titles is that I wanted a way to brand the books with something that was already highly recognized. I needed a way to help prevent someone from walking into a bookstore and asking for the blue book about witches and vampires, and walking out with something else. Add on "It has a title like a Clint Eastwood movie," and the right book goes home.

DP: And one bonus question: any movie adaptations in the works?

Kim: No, but my agent Richard Curtis and I are always open for real, solid offers. Until then, I'm happy to play in the Hollows by myself. A strong female protagonist with friends who actually likes her life has a lot of potential, and I'm eager to see for myself where I can take her.

Labels: 5 Questions, Horror, interview, Kim Harrison, Science Fiction, Writing

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While in the cashier line at Whole Foods last week, I watched a gray-haired gentleman in a cashmere sweater and expensive slacks place two heavy cases of San Pellegrino water on the conveyor belt. The sparkling mineral water from Lombardy, Italy is among the hottest selling brands of bottled water.

But it may shock some people to learn that this high-end water supplier is owned by Nestle, the same company that manufactures Hot Pockets and Butterfinger candy bars. Nestle also owns 26 other brands of bottled water included Perrier and Poland Spring.

Americans spent more than $15 billion on bottled water last year – more than we spent on iPods or movie tickets, according to Fast Company magazine. This was clearly evident at Whole Foods as I watched the gray-haired gentleman shell out about $60 for his purchase.

Has there ever been an advertising and marketing triumph quite like bottled water? We have allowed ourselves to be duped into believing in luxury brands of water – that spring or glacial water is somehow a premium worth shelling out money for. This despite the fact that water flows for free out of most people’s kitchen and bathroom taps.

San Pellegrino is a perfect example of this charade. The Italian water isn’t naturally sparkling. It is mineral water infused with carbonation. Analysis shows that the water quality is about the same as water that flows from the average sink.

Some bottle water, in fact, really is municipal tap water. It may be as much as 25 percent of all bottled water, according to a report on ABC News. Pepsi Colas’ Aquafina and Coca-Cola’s Dasani brands have admitted that they are simply filtering tap water.

“Whether bottled water is better than tap water, and justifies its expense, remains under debate,” according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

This fact has done little to hinder the success of the bottled water industry:

• In 2004, more than 41 billion gallons of bottled water was consumed. The United States was responsible for 28 billion of the total.
• It takes about 17 million barrels of oil to manufacture the plastic bottles for water, according to the Pacific Institute. This caused more than 2.5 million tons of carbon dioxide to be released into the atmosphere.
• Approximately 80 percent of the plastic bottles used for water end up in landfills – only 20 percent are recycled.
• In the United States, bottled water sales are expected to surpass the sale of beer and coffee in the next few years, according to the Wall Street Journal.

Marketing and advertising, of course, play an enormous role. We’ve been fooled into thinking that bottled water tastes better and is safer than tap water. But we’re also turning water into a valuable commodity that is enriching corporations and forcing a privatization of what was once a public resource: water. With the well-off consuming bottled water are we in danger of ignoring or letting public water supplies deteriorate?

Water is too valuable – too necessary – to our public health to hand over to corporations. Water needs to remain a public resource for the world – and not a luxury for the rich.

The good news is that there is a developing backlash against the dangers posed by bottled water. What can you do? I’ve vowed to stop buying bottled water (and save myself a lot of money). I’ve purchased a water pitcher with a filter that I keep in the refrigerator. Rather than buy bottled water, I now use a refillable plastic bottle that can be washed and reused over and over again.

Now if we can only convince well-to-do gray-haired gentlemen to do the same.

Read our essay on slowing down to the speed of life

Read our essay on global warming

Labels: environment, Essay, water

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(DaRK PaRTY has been on a western kick lately. We blame watching Brad Pitt play Jesse James in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.” Pitt plays the outlaw with an inner savageness that got us thinking about the real Jesse James – and the other vicious gunslingers of the Old West. So let us introduce you to the real deal – our picks for the meanest hombres ever to saddle a horse or draw a six gun. The Old West photographs in this post are courtesy of the travel site Legends of America.)

Clay Allison

Born: September 2, 1840

Died: July 3, 1887

Method of Death: He fell off a wagon and the wheel rolled over his neck, snapping it. His tombstone reads: “He never killed a man that did not need killing.”

Quick Bio: He was the fourth of nine children of a Presbyterian minister. Even as a child, he was known for his mercurial temper and violent mood swings. During the Civil War, he fought for the Confederate Army for the 9^th Tennessee Cavalry. After the war, he joined the Ku Klux Klan. Later moving to Texas with his brothers to become ranchers, Allison developed a reputation as a gunfighter with a fast draw. He killed many men during this time – once even breaking an alleged murderer of prison so he could kill him (dragging his body through town and severing his head).

Why He Was a Bad Man: He killed several men in gunfights, including a sheriff. Once he went to dinner with Chunk Colbert, a notorious murderer who hated Allison. A gunfight erupted during dinner with Allison winning the battle. When asked why he go to dinner with a man who wanted him dead, Allison said, “Because I didn’t want to send a man to hell on an empty stomach.”

Myth Busting: Technically, Allison wasn’t a criminal. While he was arrested for murder several times, he always beat the rap and never spent any time in jail.

Actors Who Have Played Him: Unknown

Best Movie about Him: None

DP Cool Fact: Shortly before his death, while ranching in Texas, Allison once rode through the town of Mobeetie completely bombed and stark naked.

Billy the Kid

Born: November 23, 1859

Died: July 14, 1881

Method of Death: Ambushed and gunned down by Sheriff Pat Garrett and two deputies.

Quick Bio: Little is known about William Henry McCarty until his criminal life began, but most historians think he was born in New York City. He moved to New Mexico with his family and began a life of petty crime. He later went to work for rancher John Tunstall, an Englishmen. During the Lincoln County (N.M.) Cattle War, Tunstall was gunned down and McCarty (then known as William H. Bonney) formed a gang called The Regulators to hunt down those responsible for Tunstall’s murder. They ended up killing a sheriff and his deputy. McCarty took over leadership of the Regulators, but the gang was short lived. He fled to Texas and spent most of his last years gambling, stealing cattle, and gun fighting.

Why He Was a Bad Man: McCarty was a cold-blooded killer and a crack shot with his pistol and rifle. He once murdered a man while playing cards together. Joe Grant boasted he would kill Billy the Kid without being aware that the man across from the table was, in fact, Billy the Kid. McCarty asked to see his pistol and allegedly emptied the chamber. When he identified himself as Billy the Kid, Grant drew on him and clicked on the empty chambers. McCarty then shot him down allegedly saying: “it was a game for two and I got there first.”

Myth Busting: McCarty is said to have killed 21 men, but the likely number is about 9 and most of those came during gun battles with the Regulators.

Actors Who Have Played Him: Roy Rogers, Audie Murphy, Val Kilmer and Emilio Estevez,

Best Movie about Him: “Billy the Kid” (1989)

DP Cool Fact: Billy the Kid is an outlaw who has captured the imagination of singers and rock stars. He is the subject of songs by Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Charles Daniels, Billy Dean and Billy Joel.

Butch Cassidy

Born: April 13, 1866

Died: November 6, 1908

Method of Death: Most likely gunned down by Bolivian soldiers after a botched attempt to steal a mining company payroll with his friend the Sundance Kid. Although there is some evidence that Cassidy survived and returned to the U.S. and lived in obscurity until July 28, 1938. This latter version remains in dispute.

Quick Bio: Born Robert LeRoy Parker in Utah to Mormon parents. He worked as a rancher and a butcher before turning to a life of crime. He stole horses, robbed safes, and later turned his passion: robbing banks. After a brief stint in prison, he formed the Wild Bunch gang in 1896. The Wild Bunch went of string of robberies that remains unmatched in U.S. history. However, when pressure from law enforcement increased – applied in a good part by Union Pacific Railroad – Cassidy tried to surrender. But it didn’t work out and he fled to South America with the Sundance Kid.

Why He Was a Bad Man: A thief and murderer who formed one of the most prolific bank robbery gangs in history.

Myth Busting: Popular culture has whitewashed many of the crimes by Butch Cassidy by portrayed him as preferring to use non-violent methods when engaged in robbing banks. This files in the face of the historical record that shows that many innocent people were killed by Cassidy and his gang of cutthroats.

Actors Who Have Played Him: Paul Newman and Tom Berenger

Best Movie about Him: “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” (1969)

DP Cool Fact: Cassidy once dated female outlaw Ann Bassett.

John Wesley Hardin

Born: May 26, 1853

Died: August 19, 1895

Method of Death: Shot three times in the back by John Selman, an El Paso, Texas sheriff.

Quick Bio: Born in Texas, Hardin was the son of a Methodist minister. Yet Hardin had a murderous disposition even as a young lad (once stabbing a classmate twice). By the time he was 15 years old, he had killed four men. He spent years running from the law, but ended up in Kansas as a cowboy. Returning to Texas, however, he killed a freed black slave and went on the run again (which lasted nearly 10 years until his death). He became embroiled in the Sutton-Taylor feud in Texas (murdering a lawman). He was caught and sent to prison for 17 years. On his release, he became a lawyer in El Paso, but was often drunk and often got into fights. He claimed to have killed 44 men in his life.

Why He Was a Bad Man: He was gambler, drinker, gunslinger, and murderer. At one point near the end of his life, Hardin said about himself: “They tell lots of lies about me. They say I killed six or seven men for snoring. Well, it ain't true, I only killed one man for snoring.”

Myth Busting: Hardin is credited with several murders that he probably had nothing to do with. For example, he claimed to have murdered three Union soldiers in 1868 and there is no evidence connecting him to the crime. He also claimed to have gunned down a pair of Pinkerton detectives in Florida in 1876, but the legendary private detective agency has no records of such an incident.

Actors Who Have Played Him: Rock Hudson, Randy Quaid, and Jack Elam

Best Movie about Him: “The Lawless Breed” (1953)

DP Cool Fact: Novelist Larry McMurtry included Hardin in his novel “Streets of Laredo.”

Tom Horn

Born: November 21, 1860

Died: November 20, 1903

Method of Death: Hanged to death for a murder he most likely had nothing to do with.

Quick Bio: He was born in Missouri, but left home as a young man and joined the U.S. Cavalry as a scout in the Apache Wars. He worked as a gunman and then became a sheriff in Colorado. His law work led to his hiring by the Pinkerton Detective Agency. In his four years with the agency, he killed 17 men. He was fired, not for his murdering ways, but because he became a robber himself. Afterwards, he became a hired gunman (he liked to call himself a Range Detective, but a closer depiction is probably hitman). During this time he killed about 23 cattle thieves. He was arrested in 1901 for allegedly killing a 14-year-old son of a sheep herder. Most historians think that this may have been one murder Horn did not commit.

Why He Was a Bad Man: Horn had a late career as the first frontier hitman.

Myth Busting: There’s some revivalist literature out there that claims Horn gets a bad wrap as an outlaw when most of his exploits took place while carrying a badge. But wearing a badge and being a lawman are two different things. There’s little doubt that Horn deserves his reputation.

Actors Who Have Played Him: Steve McQueen and David Carradine

Best Movie about Him: “Tom Horn” (1980)

DP Cool Fact: Horn joked with the guards as they lead him to the gallows to be hanged.

Jesse James

Born: September 5, 1847

Died: April 3, 1882

Method of Death: Shot in the back by cohort turned assassin Robert Ford

Quick Bio: Jesse Woodson James, probably the most famous western outlaw, was another minister’s son gone bad. Born in Missouri, James became a bushwhacker during and after the Civil War. He conducted raids under the legendary Bloody Bill Anderson. After the war, he formed a gang with his older brother Frank and the Younger brothers. They made themselves famous by robbing banks and trains. Jesse became a symbol of Confederate defiance when his letters were printed in newspapers. When the James-Younger gang broke up, James formed his own gang, but was less successful. He became paranoid and moved from place to place before being killed by one of his own men.

Why He Was a Bad Man: Train and bank robber, cold-blooded murder.

Myth Busting: The idea that Jesse James was an Old West Robin Hood is completely misplaced. He is held up as a hero by neo-Confederate groups, but James was a ruthless killer and career criminal.

Actors Who Have Played Him: Tyrone Power, Audie Murphy, Robert Wagner, Robert Duvall, James Keach, Kris Kristofferson, Rob Lowe, Colin Farrell, Brad Pitt

Best Movie about Him: “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” (2007)

DP Cool Fact: There have been more than 20 movies made about Jesse James since 1921.

Harry Longabaugh (“Sundance Kid”)

Born: Sometime in 1867

Died: November 1908 (?)

Method of Death: Probably died with Butch Cassidy during a shootout in Bolivia with government soldiers after robbing a mining company payroll. However, there are theories he survived and moved back to the U.S. where he died of natural causes in 1936. However, there is much dispute about this latter theory.

Quick Bio: Not much is known about Sundance. He was a rancher for a while in Canada before being arrested for stealing a horse. He spent nearly two years in prison in Sundance, Wyoming (thus his nickname). He joined with Wild Bunch Gang and later the Hole in the Wall Gang to conduct a bank robbery run that remains the most successful in U.S. history. At some point, Sundance married a woman named Etta Place.

Why He Was a Bad Man: He was a convicted horse thief and notorious bank robber.

Myth Busting: Hollywood is responsible for portraying Sundance as a fast gunslinger, but it probably wasn’t true. Most historians think people confuse Sundance with another Wild Bunch member – Kid Curry, who was in many shootouts. Sundance is only known to have been involved in two shoot-outs in his life time.

Actors Who Have Played Him: Robert Redford and William Katt.

Best Movie about Him: “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” (1969)

DP Cool Fact: The Sundance Film Festival, founded by Redford, is named after the Sundance Kid.

Cole Younger

Born: January 15, 1844

Died: March 21, 1916

Method of Death: After prison, he became a born-again Christian and died of old age

Quick Bio: The son of a slave-holding farmer, Younger became a guerrilla fighter in Missouri during the Civil War. He was fueled by rage when Union soldiers killed his father. He was part of the Lawrence, Kansas raid of August 21, 1863 where more than 200 people were slaughtered. He was one of the founding members of the James-Younger gang with Frank and Jesse James. His two brothers, John and Jim, were gunned down by Pinkerton detectives in 1874. The gang was caught in a furious firefight after trying to rob a bank and the Younger brothers were captured (Jesse James escaped). Younger pleaded guilty to avoid being hanged to death and went to prison. After being released, Younger formed “The Cole Younger and Frank James Wild West Company” which toured the country. He later became a Christian and repented his criminal past.

Why He Was a Bad Man: Bank and train robber and murderer. After he was caught, Younger said: “We tried a desperate game and lost. But we are rough men used to rough ways, and we will abide by the consequences.”

Myth Busting: Younger tried to portray himself as a Confederate rebel, but he was simply a criminal.

Actors Who Have Played Him: Cliff Robertson, David Carradine, Randy Travis, Scott Caan

Best Movie about Him: “The Long Riders” (1980)

DP Cool Fact: Younger was one of 14 children – four of which became ruthless outlaws.

Labels: History, Westerns

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DaRK PaRTY: What are the elements of a good mystery story?

Otto: The same requirements as a good novel or story of any kind. Strong characters, realistic dialogue, interesting background, a theme of substance beyond the plotline, with the added requirement of the classic story arc-- beginning, middle, end, with a satisfying denouement.

DP: You are the proprietor of the Mysterious Book Shop in New York. Why do you think readers are so attracted to mystery stories?

Otto: Mysteries are fairy tales for adults. They mainly depict the battle between the forces of good and the dispensers of evil. In most mystery fiction, there is a comforting restoration of order after the social fabric has been rent, which is satisfying to us as readers, whereas this is not always the case in real life.

DP: You are also the editor of "The 50 Greatest Mysteries of All Time." If you had to narrow the book down to three stories -- which three would you have selected and why?

Otto: Those three stories would change on any given day. But any list, no matter how small or how long, would have to include a Sherlock Holmes story, as he is the single greatest character in the history of literature, a man of wisdom, reason and fairness, as well as being colorful enough because of eccentricities that are not so outré as to make him farcical.

There would also always be a story by Stanley Ellin, as no writer produced the equal of his perfectly polished gems. There are half-a-dozen of his stories that could easily have been included among the top 50. Assuming no difficulty in clearing rights, I would also always be inclined to use a story by Raymond Chandler, one of the handful of most stylistically compelling American writers who ever lived-- in or out of the mystery genre.

DP: Which two writers from the past do you think had the most influence on mystery writing?

Otto: Edgar Allan Poe, as the inventor of the detective story, and Arthur Conan Doyle, as the author who made the genre beloved and, therefore, popular. Make it three, and I'd add Dashiell Hammett, who made the American hard-boiled detective story the dominant sub-genre for nearly a century in terms of talented writers employing the style and substance of his quintessentially American theme of the lone hero doing the necessary thing to set things right, which often seems quixotic to those without a moral center.

DP: Which mystery writers today do you recommend and why?

Otto: Too many to mention all, but those that come readily to mind are James Crumley, Robert Crais, Michael Connelly, Thomas H. Cook, George Pelecanos, Dennis Lehane, John Harvey, Elmore Leonard, Robert B. Parker, Joyce Carol Oates, Charles McCarry and William Gay.

There are 15 or 20 or more others who I love, too, in this great platinum age of mystery writing. I like them for different reasons, but they have in common a comfort with the language that allows them to use it in ways that no one else can use it, whether in the poetry of the prose or the creation of characters that will be familiar to readers a hundred years from now.

The 7 Toughest Detectives in Fiction

Labels: 5 Questions, interview, mysteries, Otto Penzler, Writing

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Nobody wants to talk about it, of course. We’re too polite. But there’s a growing crisis with picture books written for toddlers and pre-schoolers today. So it’s important for us to be frank.

The content in most of these picture books makes adults want to pluck out their eyeballs.

I’m not kidding.

These offending books either promote terrible behavior for young children or they are so poorly written they can barely withstanding a single reading.

The problem has become critical in my house. I’ve fallen on desperate measures to keep my sanity. As a result, I’m now hiding some of my 4-year-old daughter’s books.

Oops!

Did daddy accidentally just kick “Oh Say Can You Say What’s the Weather Today” under the bed? Oh, my, it appears that “Kiss Good Night, Sam” has been shoved into a dark, dank corner of the closet (where hopefully mold will begin to rot the pages – Die, Sam, die!).

The alternative is worse. If I read one more of these damnable books I’ll be transformed into a drooling madman that’s libel to run naked through the streets of my neighborhood with a pair of scissors.

Some picture books simply need to be avoided, at all costs. For example, the Olivia series by Ian Falconer are abhorrent. Want to plant the seeds of discontent and misbehavior in your impressionable youngster? Then read these evil, little tomes. They are basically blueprints for making your kids talk back and whine.

Why put yourself through the challenge of correcting bad behavior that is showcased by Olivia the Pig? She’s brat – and acts it. Olivia should be dipped in honey, baked for about an hour with an apple shoved into her screeching maw, and served with a fruity white wine.

Children – especially young ones – want their book read over and over and over and over again. There are few books that can withstand this heavy usage without driving an adult completely bonkers.

But there are, thankfully, books out there that will delight your children and are actually fun for parents to read – even if you’ll be forced to read them dozens, perhaps hundreds of times. Here are a few of our recommendations:

Duck in the Truck
By Jez Alborough

Jez Alborough is the crown prince of delighting young children. I can’t say enough good things about this storyteller and illustrator other than he’s fantastic. You generally can’t go wrong with any of his picture books, but I happen to have a great love for “Duck in the Truck” – a hidden gem. It’s a rollicking adventure about a duck that gets his pick-up truck stuck in the muck. He gets help from Frog, Sheep and Goat to get it unstuck.

The book is so well written that I still enjoy reading it out loud. It never gets boring because the language is so magical. But even better than the verse are the illustrations. Bold! Colorful! The pictures seem to move like a cartoon and there are new discoveries every time you read it.

Goodnight Moon
By Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd

It’s a classic for a reason. Once again the language drives this picture book from simply good to great. “Goodnight Moon” was first published more than 60 years ago, but the text remains timeless. Margaret Wise Brown captivates through the use of a free verse poem about a bunny rabbit getting ready for bedtime. The story has the bunny saying good night to all of items in his room in a way that is comforting for a young child. The accompanying illustrations by Clement Hurd are a mix of black-and-white pencil drawings and bold and colorful paintings.

Brown is another children’s writer who should grace the libraries of most nurseries. She is a terrific writer with a strong body of work. I also recommend “Big Red Barn” and “The Runaway Bunny” (also illustrated by Clement Hurd).

A Good Day
By Kevin Henkes

Kevin Henkes is probably best known for his character Lilly, a precocious mouse that is a much better role model than the obnoxious pig that is Olivia. However, I prefer Henkes’ other projects with “A Good Day” being among his finest.

“A Good Day” has such a positive message – how to turn bad situations in good ones. It reminds me of the saying the teachers use at my daughter’s pre-school: “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” The story is about different animals facing trying dilemmas and how each of them turns a negative into a positive. The pastel water colors are beautiful and full of energy and happiness. Another one of Henkes’ books worth buying is “Kitten’s First Full Moon.”

In the Night Kitchen
By Maurice Sendak

If your children can handle some full frontal nudity from a small mischievous boy then there’s nothing but wonder and magic in this fairy tale by Maurice Sendak. The story revolves around Mickey and his vivid dream of traveling to the night kitchen to help the bakers bake cake for breakfast.

Sendak is a master of the surreal and “In the Night Kitchen” is a romp through imagination. It’s a story with several layers and the action seems to change each time you read it. The illustrations are top-notch, but it is the free verse poetry that makes this book timeless. Also recommended are Sendak’s “Little Bear” series and his other classic “Where the Wild Things Are” (although this one may not be suitable for younger or more immature youngsters because of the scary monster inside).

Off We Go
By Jane Yolen and Laurel Molk

Any children’s book that gets you to read out loud phrases like: “Hip-hop, hippity hop” and “Slither-slee, slithery slee” is going to be a blast to read. The concept of the book is that various little animals (mouse, frog, mole, snake, spider, and duck) are all traveling to visit their grandmothers. The illustrations are action packed and fun to look at – with frogs practically hopping off the pages and moles digging furiously through the ground.

Jane Yolen is another author to keep an eye on. She has a series of books with Mark Teague about Dinosaurs that teach children manners and go by names like “How Dinosaurs Play With Their Friends” and “How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight” that are worthy of any collection of children’s books.

The Very Lonely Firefly
By Eric Carle

Eric Carle is a child’s best friend. He creates visually stunning works of art that children naturally gravitate toward. One of his best works is “The Very Lonely Firefly,” which is about a baby firefly that tries to find his family – in a very confusing night world filled with candles, lanterns, flashlights and even fireworks. Carle is famous for his multi-media drawings and he’s at the top of his game here.

Other books by Carle to look for are “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and “The Very Quiet Cricket.”

Pigsty
By Mark Teague

Mark Teague creates lush, beautiful illustrations and one of his best efforts is “Pigsty.” It’s hard not to love the protagonist, Wendell Fultz, who is ordered to clean his pigsty of a room by his mother. Wendell’s imagination gets away from him and soon his room becomes a home away from home for a gang of pigs who make the room an even bigger disaster. Wendell realizes that he’ll finally have to clean it before he loses all of his things.

But the real joy is Teague’s acrylic paintings that accompany the story. The colors are bright and the drawings bring children inside the over active imagination of Wendell. Teague has an excellent body of work and another gem is “The Field Beyond the Outfield.”

Barnyard Dance
By Sandra Boynton

Sandra Boynton can be hit or miss, so be careful. She’s become an institution for pre-school board books, but on occasion you get the feeling that the pressure of creating more and more books has cut into her creativity. So avoid fare like “Belly Button Book” or “Hey! Wake Up!” and focus on her better material like “Barnyard Dance” (and the delightful “Pajama Time!”)

Boynton specializes is friendly cartoon animals with big eyes and big hearts. Her pigs, dogs, cows, and hippos are great fun for little kids. “Barnyard Dance” has a cow playing on a fiddle as the rest of the farm animals square dance around the barn. It’s great fun and filled with energy and urgency that kids respond to.

Read how Robert Cormier radicalized Teen Literature here

Read about the Magical World of Margaret Wise Brown here

Labels: books, Maragret Wise Brown, Parenting

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Back in December, we listed our “8 Coolest Sci-Fi Flicks” and got some heat for not including “Blade Runner” (1982) on the list. We remembered Ridley Scott’s adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s science fiction classic “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep” as being a disappointment – as well as a bit heavy-handed.

We recently revisited “Blade Runner” to see if the sands of time had softened our opinion of the movie. But we also wanted to see if Scott’s director’s cut version of the film would improve it.

It did, but our opinion of “Blade Runner” remains mediocre.

We agree with film critic Roger Ebert: “Watching the director's cut (of “Blade Runner”), I am left with the same overall opinion of the movie: It looks fabulous, it uses special effects to create a new world of its own, but it is thin in its human story.”

Ebert gets this one right. “Blade Runner” is slick on production. The special effects are so impressive that Scott lets them take over parts of the movie as he pans the camera back to take in breathless shots of his futuristic version of Los Angeles. The movie, at times, is in awe of itself.

We’ll give Scott credit here. He does a magnificent job in crafting his world. It’s a bleak one, but it resonates as realistic: the driving, black rains, the pollution-scarred skies, the blinking, moving billboards, the strange fashions, and the crowds of vampire like citizens.

But this is all background.

The rest of the movie doesn’t live up to the set. The plot is achingly mediocre and stolen from half-a-dozen film noir movies. It relies on characters hand-picked from central castings old stereotypes closet.

The usually dynamic Harrison Ford is wasted here. Ford sleepwalks through the role of a world-weary police officer who quits to crawl inside a whiskey bottle. But predictably his crusty, insensitive boss calls him back for one last job. Then there is Sean Young as the femme fatale – smoking cigarettes and looking both confused and earnest at the same time.

Ford plays Deckard -- a blade runner (a police officer assigned to hunt down and kill “replicants” also known as cyborgs). The replicants are illegal on earth and only used on other planets for jobs too dangerous for real human beings. It’s never explained why the replicants are not allowed on earth (can’t we all just get along?).

The movie carefully avoids another major problem: if they are illegal on earth then why are the replicants designed to look exactly like human beings? They are also designed to look differently from each other – no two are alike. In fact, the only way to tell a replicant from a real human being is to take a complicated oral exam which takes about 45 minutes to an hour to administer.

Wouldn’t it be easier to design the replicants with blue skin, for example? Or make them all look exactly alike? That way they couldn’t escape and hide among the population of real humans. Seems like an easy fix especially since the replicants have become such a dangerous nuisance that it’s necessary to create the job of blade runner to hunt down and kill them.

But then, of course, we wouldn’t have a movie.

Another problem with the replicants is that they only last four years –but no one – not the replicants or their creators – seems to readily know the expiration dates. Given that the replicants are used for dangerous off-world work wouldn’t it be prudent to know when they “die”? After all wouldn’t it be a disaster to send replicants on a mission and have them start expiring halfway through?

Deckard is assigned to kill four replicants that murdered a shuttle full of people and now are hiding out in LA. His investigation is riddled with holes and convenient consequences that only happen in movie scripts (he finds a tiny snake scale in the bathroom tub of an old haunt which lead him, of course, to a stripper who uses a snake in her act. She happens to be one of the replicants). He even calls them at their secret hideout and… they answer the phone.

We were also amazed at how Deckard never ever calls for back-up – even when he finally locates the replicants’ hide-out and knows he will be up against two super powerful androids that have already murdered more than 20 people.

“Blade Runner” wants to be a film about the definition of humanity – an action flick with a philosophy. But it fails in both aspects. It spends too little time exploring the idea of manufactured life being real life because the characters don’t really care about the answer. And the action sequences aren’t even as good as the average fare on TV.

Fantastically Bad Cinema: "3:10 to Yuma"

Labels: Bad-Cinema, Blade Runner, Movies, Science Fiction

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(Summary: Lying in her berth on a train sweeping through the country from Colorado to New York City, a wife reflects on her marriage to her stricken husband. They were a vibrant couple when they courted, but his sickness has driven a wedge into their relationship. She is leaving him behind and he has become resentful of her vigor. They are returning to New York City after living in the high, dry country to see if the conditions would benefit his health. It did not. As the train rifles across the country side, her husband deteriorates at an alarming rate. Waking up the next morning, she discovers his dead body. Afraid that train officials will stop the train and leave her alone at some outpost with the corpse, she hides his death from the train crew and the other passengers. When they finally arrive in New York, her nerves are shot, and she faints, striking her head against her husband’s berth.)

Analysis: Edith Wharton is among the royalty of American letters; a grand dame of literature who was born with a silver spoon (and a fork and a knife) in her mouth. Wharton’s maiden name was “Jones” and her family’s known for being the “Jones” in the axiom “Keeping up with the Joneses.”

Wharton penned the classics “House of Mirth” (1905), “Ethan Frome” (1912), and the Pulitzer Prize winning “The Age of Innocence” (1920). She is famous for her passionate realism and her seething criticism of upper-class American society at the end of the 19^th century.

So the short story, “A Journey,” is a bit of a jolt for such a prim and proper literary figure. It’s as if Wharton started channeling Edgar Allan Poe and took a tip-toe into the darkness.

One doesn’t expect horror tales from Wharton, but there’s no disguising “A Journey.” It’s a story about a woman who hides the corpse of her husband from train porters and passengers – and is nearly driven mad by it.

Wharton is a perceptive observer of human emotion. Her prose captures the complexity of the relationship between the unnamed wife and her husband – poking at the chasm that has opened between them because of his illness. It’s an unspoken estrangement, yet it dictates their actions and the way they treat one another. He’s irritated by her health and she sees him as an anchor to getting on with life.

It’s proves to be a combustible mix. She moves with him to Colorado, but resents him for it. She misses New York City, so when the mountain air doesn’t have its desired effect on his health, she wastes no time in convincing him it is time to head back East.

The couple silently understands that the return to New York signifies the end. He is going to die. But New York has become symbolic for the woman – a place where she will again be surrounded by family and friends. She will have her freedom at last.

The tone “A Journey” is gloomy and depressing. The weight of it can be felt in passages like this:

“The hours dragged on in a dreary inoccupation. Toward dusk she sat down beside him and he laid his hands on hers. The touch startled her. He seemed to be calling her from far off. She looked at him helplessly and his smile went through her like a physical pang.”

But “A Journey” is so much deeper. In Wharton’s hands the overland journey becomes a metaphor for death – the journey from birth to death. The journey becomes Charon’s boat re-imagined as a train flying through the heartland of the United States. It’s all blurs and darkness outside the train window.

The twilight, for example, is described as “sepulchral” and the countryside becomes “flying trees and houses, meaningless hieroglyphs on an endlessly unrolled papyrus.” As the woman’s guilt at her deception builds, she becomes haunted by the ghost of her dead husband. But her fear at being stuck with him – alone – is just too much to bear.

She feels his presence and his yearning for her to acknowledge his death – perhaps even to validate his life.

Until the very end, when reaching New York, the train plunges into the Harlem tunnel and the car grows dark. It all ends horribly and in black confusion: “She flings up her arms, struggling to catch at something, and fell face downward, striking her head against the dead man’s berth.”

Apparently, even grand dames of letters, have nightmares.

Read our Literary Criticims of Richard Matheson's "I Am Legend" here

Read our picks for the books, movies, and music that defined decades here

Labels: Edith Wharton, literary criticism, literature

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Let’s get real for a moment. Love songs can be damn annoying. For example, is there really anyone who can stomach a love song by Journey? Can anyone possible be so head-over-heels in love that they don’t want to stick the broken end of a beer bottle into Steve Perry’s thorax when he sings “Open Arms?”

Christ, we hope not.

But the problem with listing the greatest love songs is that having a song is a matter of circumstance. If you and your girlfriend were groping in the back seat of your dad’s Chevy station wagon and Whitney Houston came on the radio singing “I Will Always Love You,” well sucks for you, dude, because that’s now your song.

You really don’t get to pick your song. It sort sticks to you like a bad odor.

But we’re going to attempt to list our favorite 10 love songs – choosing songs that would actually be cool to have as your song if, in fact, you actually had a choice in these matters.

We realize – more than you know – that you’ll likely end up stuck with Madonna’s “Crazy For You” or Faith Hill’s “Breath.” You know what we mean: songs that will eventually make you vomit.

For what it is worth: 10 Love Songs That Rock.

Sinead O’Connor
Nothing Compares 2 U

Can we finally forgive Sinead for tearing up a picture of the pope on “Saturday Night Live” in 1993? After all, the pope was, in fact, the leader of the largest child sexual abuse society in history. Regardless, this cover song by Prince showcases just how talented a vocalist Sinead is. Her breathless voice ripples with heartfelt passion and it’s hard not to be taken in by the power of the lyrics. The video, shot mostly in Paris, also features Sinead at her most beautiful.

Peter Gabriel
In Your Eyes

Most people associate this song with John Cusack in the movie “Say Anything.” He plays the song on a boombox which his hefts over his head so that his girlfriend can hear it from her bedroom (chicks really dig this scene). But let’s stripped Cusack out of the picture for a moment and focus on Peter Gabriel. The song is about falling in love by staring deeply into the eyes of a woman. How these windows to the soul open up all the secrets, pain, and passion of love. The song has a funky African backbeat and you can dance to it.

INXS
Never Tear Us Apart

Generally considered one of the best INXS songs by fans (I prefer the older stuff). But it certainly has some groove to it. Lead Singer Michael Hutchence shows us some fine vocal work here. The guy really could belt out a ballad. Sadly, the song was played in the background during Hutchence’s funeral as the other members of the band carried his casket out of the church in 1997.

Righteous Brothers
Unchained Melody

Can you say rock classic? Believe it or not, this song is one of the most covered in the 20^th century (with hundreds of different versions). No one does it better than the Righteous Brothers. The song was nearly ruined after it appeared in the overwrought film “Ghost,” but don’t hold that against it. Bobby Hatfield gets down and dirty on this song – digging deep to bring up the passion and the angst until the girls are screaming and swooning. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Joe Cocker
You Are So Beautiful

Joe Cocker is a madman. A round, bald, bearded sweat stain of a performer. His voice – which sounds like a gravel rattling around in an iron drum – is gritty and gratifying. This song will go right through you. Is there any singer who gets more into his music than Joe? This is a cover song, of course, because Joe really doesn’t write his own stuff. He just steals from others, sings the living hell out of them, and makes them his own. Just like this one.

Roberta Flack
Killing Me Softly With His Song

“Strumming my pain with his fingers.” Is there any better opening to a love song? This song is so… well, ridiculous, that it is actually cool. The song is about falling madly in love with a performer as he sings on stage (it was inspired by a poem about Don MacLean). The greatest thing about “Killing Me Softly” is that it was featured in the very underrated comedy “About a Boy” starring Hugh Grant. Go rent the movie and you’ll love this song even more.

Chris Isaak
Wicked Game

This is a damn dirty song (check up the video above) and would be the best song to actually have as your song. Isaak recorded the song in 1989, but it didn’t become a hit until 1991. The song is smoking hot as is model Helena Christensen who stars in the video. MTV listed it as one the sexiest videos of all-time and ranks number 73 of Rolling Stone’s top 100 videos. We’re babbling aren’t we? It kind of speaks for itself, so we’ll just shut-up now.

Paul McCartney
Maybe I’m Amazed

This was one of McCartney’s hits with the Wings, recorded in 1970. It features some great piano and guitar work and that earnest McCartney performance that makes him, well, Paul McCartney. This song is a rocker and one of the songs that McCartney calls one of his favorites. He wrote it for his late wife Linda after the break-up of the Beatles. It is without a doubt one of the finest love songs ever written.

Bee Gees
How Deep Is Your Love?

We know, we know. We went for the jugular on Journey and Steve Perry, yet we’ve got the Bee Gees on our list. Just listen to the damn song (see the video below). And try not to look too closely into the hypnotizing eyes of Barry Gibb.

Neil Young
Heart of Gold

This is Neil Young’s only number one song. Can you believe that? The man who gave us “Ohio,” “Like a Hurricane,” and “The Needle and the Damage Done” and this is his only hit. A freakin’ love song. The song is about a man who is getting older, but is still searching for true love. Young does it as an acoustic number on his “Harvest” album on 1970 (mostly because a back injury wouldn’t allow him to record it with a heavier electric guitar).

Labels: Music, Romance

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Author and poet Charles Bukowski cultivated a reputation as a vulgar tough guy with whiskey on his breath, hair on his back, and shit stains on his toilet seat. His former girlfriend, Linda King, said “Bukowski worked hard to get his reputation as king of the lowlife writers.”

He wrote about conning women from their cash, raping them if they didn’t put out, and giving them the necessary slaps to keep them in line. His characters, most notably his favorite protagonist, Henry Chinaski, were drunks and gamblers.

Yet, I count myself among the defenders of Bukowski.

I tend to bristle at critics who have described his work as “a detailed depiction of a certain taboo male fantasy: the uninhibited bachelor, sloppy, anti-social, and utterly free.” This isn’t true. Bukowski is more than appears on the surface – much more. But first let’s skim along the surface like a pair of water bugs for a moment.

There’s no doubt that Bukowski – like Edgar Allan Poe – is a maddeningly inconsistent writer. His prose – like Poe’s – can be uneven with passages of utter brilliance sandwiched between drivel. It can be frustrating to read Bukowski and stumble upon passages that make you pause in awe only to be followed by a few pages were you begin to wonder who he bribed to get this crap published.

That’s Bukowski; the patron saint of boozers, brawlers, and two-bit hacks. It’s one of the reasons why he’s so imitated and why everyone with a typewriter and a bottle of gin thinks they can write like him. But, in fact, they can’t.

While there are puzzling moments in Bukowski’s prose, one needs to take the work as a whole – not dissect it by pieces. It’s easy to criticize passages out of context or point out failings in the language on one or two pages. But to fully understand and appreciate Bukowski, you need to view his works as a whole.

Bukowski writes from within better than any writer since Hemingway. It’s not so much what Bukowski says, but what he means. This is an enormous distinction and why his many critics believe Bukowski is sexist and/or racist.

In his novel “Post Office” (1971), this exchange can leave the PC police squirming in their seats:

“And I got myself a nice black gal. And you know what color her hair is.”

“You guys been fucking our women for centuries. We’re trying to catch up. You don’t mind if I stick my big black dick into you white gal?”

“If she wants it she can have it.”

“You stole the land from the Indians.”

“Sure I did.”

“You won’t invite me to your house. If you do, you’ll ask me to come in the back way, so no one will see my skin…”

“But I’ll leave a small light burning.”

It got boring but there was no way out.

The key to understanding this exchange is the last sentence. Bukowski knows that the characters are trapped in their stereotypes. It’s boring and hopeless, but what can they do? It is bigger than them. Better and easier to play the game than to try and buck it. It’s all part of the go along to get along culture that Bukowski rebels against.

In that passage is the entire framework of “Post Office,” a novel about a blue-collar, working man who finally removes the shackles of his petty job and desperate life to become an artist. “Post Office” is about busting free all right – but not from women and marriage. It’s about busting away from convention. It’s about having the courage to live your dreams on your own terms – and society be damned.

Bukowski at his best uses rough language, hard men, and desperate women to explore these truths – these human qualities. He peels away the layers to look at them underneath, but he expects his readers to find the nuance of his language – and follow him there. When he’s on, Bukowski leaves the signposts and when you arrive you are in awe. Bukowski can serve up alienation, desperation and longing like nobody else.

Unfortunately, when he misses, when he fails in his writing, his prose is mistaken for tough guy pulp. And that’s why critics often put him there (there was a reason why his last novel was called “Pulp”).

“Post Office” is the prime example of this duality. The first part of the book flounders and flops like a goldfish that has fallen to the floor among the fragments of sharp glass. There doesn’t seem to be a point to the sordid tales of mail delivery (and drinking and carousing). It’s easy to wonder why he doesn’t deserve the title of King of the Scumbags.

But eventually “Post Office” finds its stride and draws the reader in. It happens so gradually that you might not recognize it. The dry black comedy – the drinking and hard living – open up and reveal the desperation the characters find themselves in and the hope that lies at the edges of the story. The characters aren’t really drunks and losers, but dreamers stuck in the mousetrap of their lives.

And they want out.

That’s why the ending of “Post Office” is so powerful. The main character, Chinaski quits his postal job after more than a decade of harassment and petty tyranny. On the first day of his new life – already in his fifties – Chinaski says:

In the morning it was morning and I was still alive.

Maybe I’ll write a novel, I thought.

And then I did.

Recognize this truth, this desire to be artistically free – and you begin to understand the complicated writings of Charles Bukowski.

Read our 5 Questions Interview about Charles Bukowski here

Labels: Bukowski, literature, Writing

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7 Movies that Will Help You Survive

Valentine’s Day

Sometimes you want to poison the heart-shaped chocolates. Pour the red wine into the toilet. Smash the roses against the wall. Tear the Valentine’s Day card into tiny, tattered pieces and light each individual piece on fire.

Romance? We don’t need no stinking romance!

Valentine’s Day can often be a bitter pill. You just broke up with Mr. Wrong. You’re in the middle of divorcing a woman who makes the Medusa look like a catch. You’re alone again. Damn it.

But, hey, sometimes love isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. So Valentine’s Day becomes a day of anguish, bitter hatred and a day to contemplate why you’re always in a wreck of a relationship.

So put the tissues away and hide the whiskey bottle in the kitchen cabinet. Instead head to the video store and rent one of our classic “unromantic” movies.

Forget the lovey-dovey flicks starring Kate Hudson, John Cusack, Meg Ryan, and Tom Hanks. What do they know? We don’t need another “Sleepless in Seattle” or “Say Anything.” Those movies want to make us reach for a barf bucket – even when we’re in good relationships.

We’re looking for something with an edge. Reality. Yeah, that’s it. Love stinks and these movies prove it.

War of the Roses (1989)

Tagline: Once in a lifetime comes a motion picture that makes you feel like falling in love all over again. This is not that movie.

“War of the Roses” takes love, digs a deep hole, and buries it about 10 feet under. This is vicious tale of love gone wrong. Meet Barbara and Oliver Rose (played with savage darkness by Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas). They have been married for almost two decades when Barbara realizes that she’s been nothing but a housewife in that time and that her arrogant husband takes her for granted. She decides she wants to open a catering service and divorce him. One catch: she wants their trophy house.

They begin with petty retaliation against each other and soon the violence and cruelty ratchets up to unheard of levels. It dances along the borders of good taste as they actually try to harm each other physically. If you’re in the mood for the “unromantic” then you can’t go wrong with “War of the Roses.”

Best Quote: “You really expect me to keep on reassuring you sexually even now when we disgust each other?”

In the Company of Men (1997)

Tagline: Are all men bastards...or just misunderstood?

Does any actor do scumbag better than Aaron Eckhart? He’s at his reptilian worst in this independent film by Neil LaBute. Eckhart plays Chad, a misogynist corporate executive sent to a regional office for six weeks. He hatches a plan with his weak-willed colleague Howard (played by Matt Malloy) where they will both woo a girl with flowers, dinners and movies and then dump her unceremoniously.

“In the Company of Men” is a brutal film about our sick corporate culture of power, bullying, and humiliation. In the end, it is clear that the victim of Chad and Howard (a mild deaf woman played by Stacy Edwards) will survive – while Chad and Howard will have to live with what they are for a long time.

Best Quote: “Never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die.”

American Beauty (1999)

Tagline: ... look closer

“American Beauty” is about a lot of things, but one of them is what happens to a marriage when it hits middle age. It ain’t pretty. Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening have forgotten each other and drifted so far apart they barely recognize each other. Spacey’s character would rather masturbate (in bed, next to his sleeping wife) than wake her up and try to be romantic. It’s a pathetic scene when she catches him at it.

The movie marriage disintegrates from there. Spacey’s Lester Burnham becomes obsessed with his daughter’s girlfriend (a high school cheerleader) and his wife has an affair with slick real estate mogul that she admires. If you’re looking to justify your hatred for your spouse then “American Beauty” will help you do just that.

Best Quote: “Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!”

Fatal Attraction (1987)

Tagline: On the other side of drinks, dinner and a one night stand, lies a terrifying love story.

The 700-pound gorilla of unromantic movies. Michael Douglas plays a happily married lawyer with a young daughter. He meets an attractive businesswoman (played with savage intensity by Glenn Close) and they have a one-night stand. By the standards of one-night stands – it’s a doozy. They have sex in her elevator, in her kitchen, and finally in her bedroom.

Douglas is ready to move on, but not Close. She begins to stalk him and isn’t ready to let go. She’s thinks there’s more to them than simply one night of sex. Then is all goes haywire and Close ends up boiling Douglas’ daughter’s rabbit and he, naturally, has to drown her in his bathtub. If you really believe love makes you crazy then “Fatal Attraction” is a natural winner.

Best quote: “I won't be ignored, Dan!”

Unfaithful (2002)

Tagline: Where do you go when you've gone too far?

“Unfaithful” is a version of “Fatal Attraction,” except this time the woman cheats and the husband is the nut job. Diane Lane plays Connie who is married to Edward (Richard Gere). She’s bored and bumps into an attractive younger man with a French accent and they have an afternoon of wild, uninhibited sex. They begin to see each other more often.

Edward realizes something is amiss and hires a private eye to shadow his wife. He ends up going to visit his wife’s lover and, well, it doesn’t work out so well for the pretty boy. The rest of the movie is about how pampered, spoiled surbanites come to terms with the end of their marriage. It’s one depressing, anti-romantic flick.

Best Quote: “What's accountable? Is that like people eating people?”

Secretary (2002)

Tagline: Assume the position.

Let’s not pull any punches here. “Secretary” is about sadomasochism. A young secretary (played by Maggie Gyllenhaal) works for an uptight lawyer (James Spader). Gyllenhaal is a deranged woman from a bad family who likes to cut herself. Spader is an anal retentive perfectionist. As you can imagine – things get a bit out of hand.

They begin to play all kinds of S/M control games and it’s all rather ridiculous. The end actually has a romantic kind of ending, but only in the sense that severely broken people can find love in the end – if they find a severely broken person they are capable with.

Best Quote: “Who's to say that love needs to be soft and gentle?”

Closer (2004)

Tagline: If you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking.

“Closer” is about betrayal. It’s the story of four deeply flawed – and not very kind – people who find each other and starting cheating, lying, lusting, and hating each other. Avoid this film if you have any tendencies toward depression. It features an all-star cast of Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Clive Owen, and Julia Roberts – so the acting is top-notch.

However, “Closer” is a dirty movie and I don’t mean the sex scenes. It exposes the underbelly of relationships and seduction and in the end you’ll probably despise all of the characters. It’s an ugly movie with a message that love might not be worth it, if love even exists for these tortured souls. In other words, it is the perfect “unromantic” film.

Best Quote: No one will ever love you as much as I do. Why isn't love enough?

Labels: Movies, Romance

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An Interview with Novelist Michael Marshall Smith

(Writer Michael Marshall Smith (who also writes under Michael Marshall) is a thriller writer in the UK who knows how to do several things really well: frighten people, make them glance nervously over their shoulders, and write with a tense, driving confidence that makes you hang on to his books as if you were clinging to a cliff side. We recently caught up with him to talk about writing thrillers, his career as a man of dark letters and his intersecting relationship with Stephen King.)

DaRK PaRTY: What attracts you as a writer to the horror and thriller genre?

Michael: To be honest, I don't understand why anyone would write anything else. These are the genres where you can try to write tense, involving fiction, treading the fine line between reality and otherworldliness, and exploring the darkest and most vital aspects of human nature to your heart's content - while at the same time dealing with everyday existence just as fully and deeply as any other genre.

So why not? I've tried writing other types of fiction, but within a few pages my fingers always end up steering toward the shadows. I've given up fighting that impulse, to be honest.

DP: “The Straw Men” (2002) was remarkable for its tense paranoia -- especially since it was released right after 9/11 -- and ability to keep readers tearing through the pages. What's the origin of the storyline and your thoughts on the book?

Michael: Like a lot of books, I suspect, the original idea came not to occupy a huge part of the final narrative. The question I initially found myself considering was why, given the disadvantages at the time, humankind stopped its hunter-gatherer existence and began farming.

Kind of an abstract point, I'll admit, but no-one's really nailed the question, and so I came up with a (rather unlikely) explanation - which I then realized could be used to rationalize very unpleasant ways of living. And from this came the idea of “The Straw Men.” As the series progressed, the conspiracy became more complex and its roots began to draw from further back in history. And these parts came to me with surprising ease, as if I was remembering something I already knew. I've almost forgotten that some of it (probably) isn't true, in
fact.

DP: You are adapting Stephen King's short story "Mrs. Todd's Shortcut" about a woman obsessed with finding shorter routes through the back roads of Maine and finding herself in "another place" as a result. What is it about the story that fascinates you?

Michael: I remember reading it years and years ago, and it striking a very vivid chord - even when placed amongst all the other great short stories in that collection. I know when I was writing the first draft of the adaptation, just before Christmas, that the thing that really spoke to me (as it often does with King's work, especially that written in the last five to 10 years) is the melancholy, the quiet and very real horror of chances missed and the irrevocability of time's passing.

Of course that traditional King element of other realms existing just to the side of ours has great appeal too (and is something I often touched on in my Michael Marshall Smith novels), but it's his grip on the human that's always really appealed to me about his work. For such a short story, it packs an amazing punch.

DP: King has written blurbs for your books -- and called "The Straw Men" brilliantly written and scary as hell. Have you met King? What's your relationship with him?

Michael: I don't really have one. I did meet him once - very briefly - at the UK launch of his novel “Bag of Bones.” It was the first time he'd been in the UK for quite some time, and his publishers threw a big party for the book, which I was lucky enough to be invited to.

A mutual friend brought King over and introduced us. Sadly I was rendered utterly inarticulate, muttered something inaudible, and King moved on.

To receive his blurb for “The Straw Men” a number of years later was
definitely one of the highlights of my career. King was probably the thing that inspired me most to start writing, and to receive any kind of validation from him -- Well, you can probably imagine.

DP: You've just published "The Intruders" in 2007 (with the paperback due this year). Can you tell us about your latest thriller?

Michael: Well, it's a step to the side from the last three novels – “The Straw Men” books -- in that I've allowed myself to re-introduce a few slightly otherworldly elements. I don't think they're incredible, but they're not based completely in consensual reality, so I guess perhaps it represents a move back toward the horror field that I started out in.

Labels: 5 Questions, interview, literature, Michael Marshall Smith, Stephen King, thrillers

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By Christine Larsen

1.

Like sociopaths,

Mosquitoes never worry

that they might hurt you.

2.

Even as I watch,

you manage to steal from me.

You are such a dick.

3.

Well-behaved and kind

as I am, I will explode

eventually.

4.

The phone is turned off;

the locks on the door are changed.

Can’t you take a hint?

5.

Email me again,

and I swear, motherfucker,

I’ll burn that laptop.

6.

Seven inches—ha!

I measure it in my hand;

six is generous.

7.

Your “prowess” in bed—

even exaggerated—

must embarrass you.

8.

Your three dogs leave more

of an impression on me

shitting in my yard.

9.

A piece-of-shit car

left behind in the garage

has more use to me.

10.

I dream you are dead

and ground up in a blender.

I wake up smiling.

(Artist by day and poet by night, Christine Larsen is a meanderer by nature. She is prone to overly dramatic pauses in conversations, unpredictable detours in thought and picking up shiny things. Christine is sometimes clever, often sarcastic and always highly susceptible to the temptations of chocolate and tequila. She lives and writes in Nashville, TN where her work can be seen and heard locally.)

Read our tribute to Red Wheelbarrow here

Robert Frost and the first snow of Winter here

Labels: Christine Larsen, Poem

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(Everyone has one of those movies in their background. A film that continues to resonate with you even years after you saw it. It might not be your favorite film, but its one that had a profound effect on the way you look at cinema and at life. DaRK PaRTY was curious about these kinds of movies so we posed a simple, yet complicated question:

What film has had a lasting impact on you and why?

We sent this question out to some of our favorite people and we received some very compelling answers. Please feel free to leave your own answer to the question in our comments section).

John J. Michaelczyk, documentary film maker and co-director of the Film Studies Program at Boston College: “The Conformist" (1970) by Bernardo Bertolucci, based on Albert Moravia's book by the same name has made a significant impact upon me over the years. The content speaks to me vividly about the idea of "belonging" in an area that has a very negative atmosphere to it.

Marcello Clerici (Jean Louis Tringtignant) appears to do anything to survive in a political storm, and basically sells his soul in a Faustian sense in order to become part of the establishment. The nuances of the film and the allusions to international culture, as well as the non-linear editing, make it a very clever puzzle, very much worth deciphering.

Aesthetically, it is an impressively designed film with its art deco feel and fascist overtones that are visually very stimulating. Vittorio Storaro's cinematography brings alive this aspect of the film. Having met Alberto Moravia who wrote the novel and having interviewed Bertolucci for my book on "Italian Political Film," I appreciated all the more the evolution from novel to film and the poetic imagination in both expressions.

Dave Zeltserman, blogger and author (“Bad Thoughts”): If I had to pick only one, I’d say “The Roaring Twenties” (1939). I saw it for the first time when I was about 13, and it is just such a well-made and powerful movie, with such a tragic and noir-ish ending, although also heroic. In my art I strive for the type of perfection that that movie achieved. I’ll never make it, but I have that goal.

R.A. Salvatore, best-selling fantasy author, co-founder 38 Studios: “The Deerhunter” (1978) and “Apocalypse Now” (1979) both hit me hard. I'm the youngest in my family and was just a kid when Vietnam was raging. Our family suffered loss in that war - from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome). I think now, with the world gone crazy again, I look back to those statements of the nature of men and the horror of war.

Laurie Foos, author (“Before Elvis There Was Nothing”): I was going to name a foreign film here but thought it important to pay tribute to our American cinema, so I could name any number of Woody Allen films that have stayed with me, but the one that I return to most often, I think, is "Manhattan" (1979). It's a beautiful tribute to a city and to unrequited love -- and Woody Allen does juxtaposition like no one else. I'm thinking in particular of Woody Allen's character calling someone's self-esteem "a notch below Kafka's," and then in the next scene, he's rescuing Diane Keaton's character from an imagined insect in her apartment. The film also renders insecurities and hopes and humor seamlessly. And, of course, it makes me laugh every time. I don't know how you don't fall in love with New York again every time you watch that film.

Gretchen Rubin, author and blogger (“The Happiness Project”): “The Piano” (1993). I love this movie but find it so intense that I’ve never been able to see it for the second time. I think that at times, we operate on a symbolic level that’s beyond the kind of symbolism that can be put into words (e.g., Billy Budd is a Christ figure, or Dumbledore is a Merlin, wise-old-man figure). It’s very rare to find that. In books, I would point to Flannery O’Connor’s “Wise Blood” or J. M. Barrie’s “Peter Pan.” I’m constantly searching for examples of this kind of work, but it’s very rare.

Billy Conway, musician and former drummer for Morphine and Treat Her Right: “Citizen Kane” (1941). I got stumped on film because the question made me realize that film does not move me in the same way as some other art forms. I take snippets and life imitates art regularly, but as a whole I will have to think some more about the effect that film has on me and how it is and isn't influential.

Jessica Fox-Wilson, poet and blogger (“9 to 5 Poet”): Just as I was beginning high school, I saw the movie "Heathers" for the first time. Without seeing this movie, I don't think I would have survived the first two years of high school. Any time a "friend" was mean to me, I imagined the friend choking on Draino and saying, "Corn-nuts!" Life was easier because of that image alone.

Steve Almond, author of “(Not that You Asked) Rants, Exploits, and Obsessions”: Gotta narrow it down to one? I'll say "Midnight Cowboy" (1969). Real art in a moving picture, real suffering and doomed loyalty. Imagine.

Jess Myers, poet: As far as movies, I think I have to name “To Kill a Mockingbird” (1962). It is one of few films that truly captures the tone and charm of the book. It's just masterfully done, and Gregory Peck's performance is exactly how I imagined Atticus Finch when I read the book. He just blows me away every time.

Elizabeth Miller, scholar and Dracula expert: Perhaps the film that has made the greatest impact on me is “Cry Freedom” (1987) starring Kevin Kline and Denzel Washington. I have watched it numerous times, and am always moved by it. I had read the book on which it was partially based (“Biko”) but in this case, the movie was even better.

Tony Carrillo, cartoonist (F-Minus): The two movies that influenced me the most are “The Jerk” (1979) by Steve Martin, and “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (1975). I watched these movies over and over growing up, and even though I can probably quote both line for line, I still see something new every time. I still laugh every time I think of Martin screaming "He hates these cans!" These movies prove that something can be completely stupid and absolutely brilliant at the same time.

Nigel Patterson, president of the Elvis Information Network (EIN): “High Noon” (1952) with Gary Cooper. As a young child growing up in Northern Ireland in the 1950s, I vividly remember watching this film three times in three weeks. They were the days of TV in its infancy and when the normal Saturday afternoon sporting programs couldn’t be shown the station repeated High Noon. What affected me about the narrative was the amazing inner strength and resolution of Cooper’s character; his awareness of knowing what was wrong from right and the need to personally stand up and do right. It is a message which is arguably even more important in today’s complex, corporate run world. Inspirational stuff!

Labels: Billy Conway, Dave Zeltserman, Elizabeth Miller, Grechen Rubin, Jess Myers, Jessica Fox-Wilson, John Michalczyk, Laurie Foos, Movies, Nigel Patterson, R.A. Salvatore, Steve Almond, Tony Carrillo

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In New York City, however, euphoria whipped through the streets like a hurricane wind. Gleeful citizens hugged and cheered. There was an extra bounce in their step. A columnist for the New York Daily News called it one of the biggest stories of the year.

What happened?

The New York Giants football team defeated the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII.

That’s all. Two cities are in an uproar over a game – a game in which the fans don’t play or participate in (other than spectators) and the result of which has no concrete affect on their everyday lives. Do we really get excited by Giants Quarterback Eli Manning winning the MVP trophy and a new car? Isn’t he already a multi-millionaire?

“Fans become passionate about their team and try to find personal satisfaction in their team's wins,” Allyce Najimy, senior associate director at the Center for the Study of Sport in Society at Northeastern University in Boston, told National Geographic.

“Our sports heroes are our warriors,” Robert Cialdini, a professor of psychology at Arizona State, said about sports fans in the New York Times. “This is not some light diversion to be enjoyed for its inherent grace and harmony. The self is centrally involved in the outcome of the event. Whoever you root for represents you.”

A scary thought, but this is what happened after the favored Patriots unexpectedly fell to the Giants. Fans from Boston took an enormous hit to their own self worth and their regional pride. In New York, fans are ecstatic as if they – not quarterback Eli Manning – somehow moved the New York Giants down the field and scored the winning touchdown.

As an avid sports fan (and die-hard Patriots loyalist), I experienced this disappointment first hand. I went through all the emotional anguish by last night’s Super Bowl loss – the fist-gripped stomach, the dizziness, and the disbelief.

And afterwards, as I reflected on the silliness of it, I wondered why I couldn’t be so passionate about real things in my life. Voting for the right candidate can actually make a difference in my life. Getting involved in my local schools can show real benefits. Spending more time with my parents and my wife and daughters. I know logically that the Patriots winning the Super Bowl will not make my life better or change it in anyway.

Why get so emotional (or concerned) about something I can't control the outcome of? I’m not involved in the game – I’m merely a passive observer. So why get worked up about the pretend rather than the real?

Wouldn’t it be amazing if our unbridled passion for watching sports on television was duplicated in other areas of our lives? Think of the possibilities:

• Polling stations across the country would run out ballots as voters crowded into schools, town halls, and municipal buildings to cast their votes for the next president of the United States
• Protesters would fill the streets to vocalize their discontent with the war in Iraq
• National Guard headquarters would be packed with citizens as soldiers returning from months of grueling warfare overseas were greeted with ticker tape and celebratory champagne
• Fed up with mediocre education, parents flock to school committee meetings to demand accountability from school administrators and push for new programs and better funding
• Inner city and rural poor ban together to protest the band-aid programs to battle poverty and demand real action to eliminate penury in the United States.

I know I'm right, but then again I know this is all bullshit and I’m just trying to rationalize it away because the goddamn Patriots fucking choked on a chicken bone.

Read something real funny: our interview with the Ironic Times

Labels: Essay, Football, Humor, Sports

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