DaRK PaRTY ReVIEW
::Literate Blather::
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
12 Signs That You Might Be A Banker


1. Can no longer afford the luxury of providing free lollipops to customers.

2. Your wife has started making snide remarks behind your back and calls you a “Moneylender.”

3. Pedophile priests have higher approval ratings.

4. Mistakenly thought the federal stimulus package was a personal bonus.

5. You don’t even trust yourself anymore.

6. Hoarding is your new business strategy.

7. Financial crisis? Looks like we need a weeklong brainstorming session in Maui.

8. You rolled out the predictable scapegoat for the financial collapse: poor people.

9. “Loan” is the new four-letter word.

10. Ceased and desisted on allowances to your children.

11. Wish you voted for the Republicans (oh, wait, you did).

12. Your new motto: Fuck Main Street.


12 Signs That You Might Be A Literary Agent

12 Signs That You Might Have Been Laid-Off

12 Signs That You Might Be Edgar Allan Poe


Labels: , , ,


Stumble Upon Toolbar StumbleUpon | Digg! Digg | del.icio.us | Reddit | Technorati Technorati | E-mail a Link E-mail
AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Posted by GFS3 at 12:24 PM.
5 comments
Sunday, December 21, 2008
12 Signs That You Might Be Santa Claus


1. Parked in the garage: eight flying reindeer.

2. Your Body Mass Index (BMI) over 30.

3. Most dangerous part of your job is breaking into the White House to fill George W. Bush’s stocking full of coal.

4. Your deep dark secret: lots of elf porn on your hard drive.

5. When you laugh in the ghetto people think you’re calling for a prostitute.

6. Near career ending mistake: the year you let the overexposed Rudolph talk you into handing out “misfit” toys to your best customers.

7. You ask the wife: “Do these red pants make me look fat?”

8. You’re wife’s biggest pet peeve is when you track reindeer shit on the new carpet.

9. Sick and tired of the liberal media’s innuendo about why you let “naughty” children sit on your lap.Link
10. You own a sleigh that has the strength and storage capacity for more than 35,000 metric tons of toys.

11. You “de-friended” Burgermeister Meisterburger on Facebook.

12. You bear an uncanny resemblance to Walt Whitman.


12 Signs That You Might Have Been Laid Off

12 Signs That You Might Be a Zombie

The Best "End of the World" Movies



Labels: , , ,


Stumble Upon Toolbar StumbleUpon | Digg! Digg | del.icio.us | Reddit | Technorati Technorati | E-mail a Link E-mail
AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Posted by GFS3 at 3:24 PM.
0 comments
Monday, December 08, 2008
12 Signs That You Might Have Been Laid-Off


1. Shower? Optional.

2. Suddenly, no more cell phone calls.

3. That empty void? It’s your schedule.

4. Moments of wild euphoria followed by uncontrollable weeping.

5. Free parking in your own driveway.

6. Your new “co-worker” is your three-year-old daughter and the “executive meeting” involves paste and construction paper.

7. Lunch at the soup kitchen: again.

8. Working at Starbucks seems like a dream job.

9. “COBRA” is no longer associated with a dangerous snake.

10. Start to understand how George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life” could contemplate jumping off a bridge for the life insurance payment to his family.

11. Your new office? The coffee shop with free wireless!

12. Free shit on the Internet = this year’s Christmas gifts.



12 Signs That Your Wife Might Be A Superhero

12 Signs That Your Boss Might Be A Zombie

Unintentionally Gay Moments in Cinema


Labels: , , ,


Stumble Upon Toolbar StumbleUpon | Digg! Digg | del.icio.us | Reddit | Technorati Technorati | E-mail a Link E-mail
AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Posted by GFS3 at 2:00 PM.
0 comments
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
12 Signs That Your Wife Might Be a Superhero


1. Lifts the couch off the floor with one hand while vacuuming.

2. Shouts “Avengers Assemble” to get the kids upstairs at bedtime.

3. There’s a skin-tight cat suit in the back of her closet.

4. Some guy named Peter Parker keeps calling.

5. Strange packages from “Stark Industries.”

6. Won’t let you buy a Krypton lock for your bike.

7. Gets mad when you make disparaging remarks about mutants.

8. Likes bats.

9. She keeps saying: “Don’t make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.”

10. Reads the “Daily Planet.”

11. Her “book group” members are Mister Fantastic, Thing, and Human Torch.

12. When you came home late from work last week, she grilled you about your whereabouts after tying you up with the “Lasso of Truth.”


12 Signs Your Boss Might Be a Zombie



Labels: , , ,


Stumble Upon Toolbar StumbleUpon | Digg! Digg | del.icio.us | Reddit | Technorati Technorati | E-mail a Link E-mail
AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Posted by GFS3 at 8:30 AM.
2 comments
Sunday, November 16, 2008
12 Signs That Your Boss Might Be A Zombie

1. The holiday bonus this year is a severed human hand and an accompanying recipe book.

2. His Right Guard deodorant can’t disguise the smell of the grave.

3. She doesn’t blink.

4. Accidentally devoured the business consultant from IBM.

5. During the last staff meeting, her leg fell off.

6. Listed his race in tax documents as “Reanimated Human Corpse-American.”

7. At lunch, he ordered a raw human brain.

8. What’s with the shambling gait and all the moaning?

9. Keeps biting the administrative assistant.

10. Gets choked up when discussing George A. Romero.

11. Adamant that there’s no such thing as a “Zombie Plague.”

12. Insists on being called ZEO.



5 Questions About: Thrillers (an interview with novelist Michael Marshall Smith)

Essay: We All Die

Flame-Outs: 5 Bands That Should Have Been Huge -- But Blew It

Labels: , , ,


Stumble Upon Toolbar StumbleUpon | Digg! Digg | del.icio.us | Reddit | Technorati Technorati | E-mail a Link E-mail
AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Posted by GFS3 at 8:59 AM.
1 comments
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
The Template is generated via PsycHo and is Licensed.