• Grendel becomes more of a confused teenager struggling with his isolation. He kills because men reject and hate him for his differences (instead of being a devil-spawned mass murder). In fact, during his death scene he becomes a wounded child

• Grendel’s mother (played by Angelina Jolie) becomes a sexy seductress who charms King Hrothgar and then later Beowulf

• Hrothgar is a drunk and philanderer

• Grendel is King Hrothgar’s illegitimate child

• Instead of killing Grendel’s mother, Beowulf is seduced by her

• Grendel’s mother gives birth to Beowulf’s illegitimate child – the dragon

• Beowulf kills his son and his son kills him

• The movie ends with Beowulf’s second in command being beckoned for seduction by Grendel’s mother

Labels: Beowulf, Movies, Poem

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(Remember “The Godfather” when the horse head ends up in the mobster’s bed? That head? It’s the music business in 2008. MP3s, music sharing, playlists, iPods, and the death of CDs have the industry fretting like a mobster without his prized race horse. Yet despite the blood and guts, there is still good music being made. Case in point: Linda Strawberry – a talented singer and keyboardist. Linda has developed a rabid following of fans – pretty much by herself. It speaks to her talent and her ability to reach out to her fans through the magic of the Internet – using YouTube, MySpace and other social media sites to distribute her music. Linda took some time between gigs (yeah, we like that word) to answer some of our questions.)

DaRK PaRTY: How did you get started in the music business?

Linda: My parents are freakishly talented. They are both amazing pianists, vocalists, and composers (currently in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir). So, I was always around music since I can remember. When I was 13 my dad set me up with a little writing studio in a closet in the basement and that was the beginning of my song writing. When I was 17, I had written about 70 songs and my mom helped me go to every producer in the state to try to pursue what to do with them. I eventually met Bjorn Thorsrud and Tony Zito who helped me record my first demo and introduced me to Billy Corgan.

Then I realized I didn’t know who I was yet or exactly the artist I wanted to be so Billy suggested I take a little time to get to know myself. So I put my own music aside for a while and began working in the studio. I had just left Mormonism so I had about two years where I was just sorting out my head and reading everything I could get my hands on. By the time I was 21, I felt I had a good grip on what I wanted and a good background on what a mess the music business was.

So, I jumped head first into it. In the last five years I have recorded about 40 songs and written at least 100 with only six released. I have had and lost deals as I’ve watched the music business grind to a halt. Now signing with one of the only remaining labels seems more risky than starting my own and trying to build what I’ve done independently so I’ve started Lovely Chaos Records in my house. I am trying to do whatever I can on my own until things get better.

It’s a hard business to be in right now. Lately, I have been focusing my creative efforts more in visual art to pay the bills. I have the mentality of doing everything I possibly can on my own and not relying on other people to make it happen. It can be tiring though recording, writing, mixing, doing all the album art, business stuff, and running all the promotions... but that’s where I’m at.

DP: You toured with Billy Corgan (playing keyboards) during his solo tour in 2005. How did you meet him and get connected with his project? And did it influence the way you approached your own music?

Linda: I sort of answered this in the above answer. I met Billy when I was 18 through Bjorn Thorsrud (producer/engineer). The first time I met him face to face was at a Smashing Pumpkins in-store performance in Salt Lake City when they were doing the Machina Tour.

The first thing Billy ever said to me was “Can you help me tie my dress?” That’s when he was wearing those leather dresses. I was petrified of him. He immediately reached out to me though and started pushing me. My first time ever on stage was singing “To Sheila” at the last Smashing Pumpkins show.

My first time having a song released was a recording of “Love to Love” we did for the SPUN soundtrack. Now, eight years later, we are still really good friends and I have never known a harder working or more talented musician. I can’t even think of how many songs I’ve watched him write over the years or it will make my brains explode. He NEVER STOPS! It makes me work harder!

How I came to be on the solo tour was that I was recording in Chicago and there had been some turmoil with my record so we had dinner and he asked me if I wanted to take a break and see the world. Three weeks later, I was in Portugal standing in front of a $60,000 a week lighting board.

DP: We have been digging, well, your song "Dig." Can you tell us more about it?

Linda: I wrote “Dig” at a very low time. I was in love with a very dangerous man. H e treated me like shit, controlled me, manipulated me and I still stuck around like a moron. When I wrote “Dig,” I was in Chicago trying to get over him. I remember laying half off a mattress scribbling the words onto the back of a receipt trying to pour all the lust, love, and despair into one song.

“My mouth is hung/ Lips bee-stung from tears/ I could die/ I could die/ I could die but I backbend to push you in farther than you’ve ever been/ I’ve never believed such words as I believe when you string them up.” That’s all sex and me knowing that I shouldn’t be there but doing it anyway and risking everything even knowing that everything out of his mouth was bullshit.

“Love I forget where my endings begin/ never such a calm undoing as this/ pierced right through by a single kiss.” About how I would try to leave but would end up back and there was no boundary. I was like calmly accepting my own undoing just to walk through his door and kiss him. What’s that line? “Casting pearls before swine…”

Now the song has an entirely different sexy meaning. When I sing it it’s to my new amazing boyfriend who has healed me so much (and who I hope I’ll marry) and its still dirty and seductive but in the best ways plus true devotion (which is so much hotter).

DP: You've been a master at using the Web to grow your fan base -- leveraging YouTube, MySpace, etc. Do you like going directly to the fans or would you prefer working with a recording label?

Linda: I love having direct contact with people. I have lots to say and it’s nice to have a place to talk about what’s going on in my head. Our culture is changing so much about the way we communicate and listen to each other. Also, with things being so dead in the industry there’s no way I could just sit back and assume any of this would get done without me doing it myself. So, I do whatever I can. Its tiring but I’ll continue to do it for as long as it takes to get where I’m trying to go. The fans who write me keep me going.

DP: What musical artists have influenced your work the most and which bands are you listening to these days?

Linda: Musical Influences – obviously Billy Corgan/Smashing Pumpkins , Siouxsie Sioux, P.J. Harvey, The Cars, Depeche Mode, Diamanda Galas, Marianne Faithfull, Annie Lennox, Irving Berlin, Steve Reich, Joy Division, Tori Amos, Kate Bush, Bjork, the Go Go’s, Roxette, Billie Holliday, and Nico.

New bands... Hmmm. Its hard to name specific bands because I listen to everything. Can I sneak past this question?

5 Questions About: The Feelies (with Glenn Mercer)

Overlooked Albums by Some Great Bands

10 Really Bad Videos from the 1980s

Labels: 5 Questions, Linda Strawberry, Music

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Exploring the Flawed and Ugly Character of One of Cinema’s Most Popular Heroes

There’s a scene in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” (1989) that captures the essence of the Indiana Jones’ character.

He has just arrived in Venice with University Provost Marcus Brody. Dr. Elsa Schneider, an Austrian professor and gorgeous blond, meets them at the docks. Jones immediately become smitten and unmercifully flirts with her (even stealing a flower to put in her lapel).

“You have your father’s eyes,” she tells him.

“And my mother’s ears. The rest belongs to you,” he tells less than 10 seconds after they meet.

Indiana’s aggressive pursuit gets to the point where Brody actually asks for him to stop. It’s almost embarrassing how Jones is unable to control his sexual desire – even in front of his boss and friend.

This is the essence of a man with no control over his emotions, especially as they pertain toward women. He’s a man-child unable – and unwilling – to put parameters around his urges. There’s no question that Indiana Jones is a courageous and noble adventurer, but there’s also ample evidence from the four Indiana Jones films that he’s an angry misogynist prone to sexual harassment and unprovoked outbursts of violence toward the women he is sexually attracted to.

In fact, Indiana displays at least six of the 10 warning signs of a man who is an abuser, according to Seeing It and Stopping It, an organization for the prevention of violence against women and children.

The pattern appears to be of a man who relentlessly pursues a woman he finds attractive and then, when he finally captures their hearts, abandons them. Obviously, he has serious issues with commitment – especially with strong, independent women. In the “Last Crusade” Indiana ends up in a hotel room with Elsa and his eyes rejoice as she shuts the door to his room behind her. He grabs her roughly by the shoulders as she turns from him and he forcibly kisses her.

“How dare you kiss me!” she shouts. But then roughly returns the kiss.

Indiana pushes her away. “Leave me alone! I don’t like fast women.”

Elisa bites his ear. “And I hate arrogant men!”

They end up in bed together.

A similar – pseudo rape scene – happens in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” (1984). Jones and Willie Scott are guests in an Indian palace – staying in rooms across the hall from one another. Stalking into each other’s rooms, the two have a heated argument about sexual attraction.

“You know what your problem is, Princess?” Jones shouts. “You’re too used to getting your own way!”

“And you’re too proud to admit that you’re crazy about me, Dr. Jones!” she shouts back.

“If you want me Willie, you know where to find me.”

“Five minutes!” she says. “You’ll be back over her in five minutes!”

“I’ll be asleep in five minutes!”

“Five,” she screams after him after he stalks out of her room. “You know it! And I know it!”

Clearly, Jones has problems maintaining normal relationships with women. He’s sexually attracted to anger and fighting with women. Rather than tenderness, Jones resorts to aggression and abusive behavior. He is fond of diminishing them with sexist labels such as princess, doll, and sweetheart. And who can forget the scene in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981) when Marion Ravenwood sees Indiana for the first time since their relationship ended in disaster.

She greets him with a punch to the face and screams: “I’ve learned to hate you in the last 10 years!”

We learn that Indiana seduced Marion, the young daughter of his mentor. “I was a child,” Marion says. “I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it.”

To Indiana, however, it was nothing but another sexual conquest. Another woman he relentlessly pursued and then dumped when she got too close.

“You knew what your were doing,” he tells Marion.

This callous behavior symbolizes a man who doesn’t like women very much. We know his father was an emotionally detached widower with a tendency to bully. We also know his mother died early in his life (before the age of 13). Clearly, Indiana has trouble relating to women outside of their role as sex objects.

In “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” (2008), it is revealed that Indiana dumped Marion again (after they fell in love for a second time in “Raiders”) and abandoned her a week before their planned wedding. Even worse, she was so emotional damaged by the rejection that she didn’t tell him she was pregnant with his son and ended up raising the boy alone.

When Indiana and Marion encounter each other for the first time in “Crystal Skull,” they get into a heated shouting match – blaming each other for the break-up. Indiana lamely claims: “I didn’t want to hurt you” as an excuse for dumping her.

Maybe there’s a reason why Indiana’s favorite weapon is a whip.

He’s smart, brave, strong, and wily, but let’s face the facts. Nobody would want Indiana Jones dating their sister.

Fantastically Bad Cinema: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Labels: Indiana Jones, Movies

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Labels: Mike Snider, Poem

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• Think you have a wretched life? Then cheer yourself up by reading the wrist-slashing depressing poetry over at the Alcoholic Poet. You’ll either look good in comparison or drink Drano. So roll the dice…
  

• SQT over at the Fantasy & Sci-Fi Lovin’ Blog is using transformers to bribe her 4-year-old son to become potty trained. We won’t get into the fact that the boy should have been trained at least a year ago, but we suppose using toys as enticements is better than say – whacking him with a stick.
  

• The BiblioAddict has a link to an amazing YouTube video about a dead screenwriter named Leonard Schrader who collected more than 100,000 books in his life. Every room in the guy’s house is filled with overflowing bookshelves. It’s heaven.
  

• Ben over at Gravetapping is digging Richard Matheson and TOR’s decision to re-release five of Matheson’s short novels such as “The Incredible Shrinking Man” (which we just picked up), “Earthbound,” and “Stir of Echoes.”
  

• S.M. Duke at The World in the Satin Bag realizes he has a problem with fruit.

• Jeff over at When the Dead Walk the Earth has an amusing take on the first three Indiana Jones movies.

• Lately, I’ve been grooving to the Manchester sound, especially the magic of Stone Roses – and this song is will make you rip out your armpit hair. And if you liked that? Try this.

• No Smoking in the Skullcave takes a look at an overlooked movie: Witches (which – no pun intended – starred a rather sexy-looking Angelica Huston).

• Jeremy Richey at Moon in the Gutter gets pissed off at theater owners who do a poor job of showing vintage films.

• Crime-noir novelist Anthony Neil Smith gets slightly irritated by the “B” we gave his latest crime novel “Yellow Medicine.” And we, of course, can’t keep our big mouths shut (see the comments).

• And finally here’s vintage rant we did a long time ago on why we hate TV.

(Have what it takes to be part of the DaRK PaRTY NeTWORK? If you have a blogabout culture, literature, books, movies, poetry, music or writing then why not exchange links with us? We promise not to follow you home from the subway on dark nights. And we only eat with our hands when necessary. So drop us a note at darkpartyreview(AT)gmail(DOT)com or leave us a comment. Tell us about your blog and we’ll see if we can exchange links. It’s that easy.)

Labels: Dark Party, links, Magical Mystery Tour

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Analysis: “The Man Who Never Told a Lie” was originally published in 1972 under the name “Truth to Tell” (it appeared in the collection of short stories about the Black Widowers called “Tales of the Black Widowers”).

Isaac Asimov, the prolific science fiction writer, created the Black Widowers for a series of mysteries that originally appeared in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine in 1971. The series became extremely popular and influential, especially among other mystery writers.

The group of six Black Widowers were based on an actual dinner club that Asimov belonged to called Trap Door Spiders. Each of the Black Widowers has a real life counterpart:

• Geoffrey Avalon is based on L. Sprague de Camp (a science fiction and fantasy writer who is perhaps best known as reviving the Conan writings of Robert E. Howard).

• Emmanuel Rubin is based on Lester del Rey (the science fiction editor and founder of Del Rey Books).

• James Drake based on Dr. John D. Clark (a scientist and writer who also helped revive the Conan series).

• Thomas Trumbull is based Gilbert Cant (a journalist who wrote for the New York Post and Time).

• Mario Gonzalo is based on Lin Carter (a science fiction writer and editor).

• Roger Halsted is based on Don Bensen.

“The Man Who Never Told a Lie” follows the predictable pattern of most of the stories in the series. The six members have a guest join them for dinner and they try to puzzle out the mystery the guest lays out before them. There’s much squabbling and digressions during the dinner. And then, per usual, Henry, the mysterious waiter, ends up cutting through the clutter to provide a simple and logical solution. While Henry isn’t based on any real-life character, Asimov was an enormous fan of P.G. Wodehouse and said Henry was inspired by Wodehouse’s character Jeeves.

The Black Widower stories are great fun – and while the tales hold up well alone, they are much better read in large chunks. That’s because Asimov has developed a supper club with complex and intriguing characters. The personality traits and histories of each of the Black Widowers get revealed slowly and carefully over the course of the series (until they begin to feel like old friends). The collection is like fine wine and gets more intricate and flavorful the longer it ages.

“The Man Who Never Told a Lie” is similar to the other stories in that it is fast-pace – and yet it seems leisurely at the same time. Asimov was a fantastic writer – a master of genre fiction for the thinking reader. His confidence and skill as a writer are in top form in this series. Readers can delight in the sidetracks and minor sojourns into the lives of the Black Widowers – without the stories ever losing focus on the mysteries.

Asimov died in 1992 and left behind more than books and about 9,000 letters. His science fiction (especially his Foundation and Robot series) was so influential and popular that it’s easy to forget that he was an excellent mystery writer as well. The Black Widower series is a great way to remember that and “The Man Who Never Told Lie” is a great starting point.

5 Writers Every Man Should Read

Lurid Confessions of a Man-Book Whore

Labels: Isaac Asimov, literary criticism, literature

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A Literary Quest to Visit the World-Famous San Francisco Book Store

I am a lost soul.

But I know that I’m not alone. We’re all lost in one way or another. Some of us are lost in the hedonism of youth – blind to everything except the next party, the next pick-up, and the next fun-filled weekend. Others are lost in family obligations – mortgages, diapers, tuition, taxes, and car payments. Yet others are lost in the meaningless pursuit of career and money – selling software or hardware, flying to conventions, attending meetings, and focused on providing solutions to make business faster, easier, and more productive.

Lost in the complications of modernity. But I am really lost – in San Francisco no less. I have taken a wrong turn down one of the many crooked (and rather steep) side streets. It is late in the afternoon and the sky is a searing blue and there is a chill in the air. I paused and consider my options.

Unlike all the other lost souls – I know the way out. I am on a quest. I am in search for a place that holds all the answers. A mystical place with all the collected wisdom of the ages. A place where the dead speak.

I am looking for a book store. A book store called City Lights.

There’s only one thing for me to do now.

Eat.

The restaurant is called Imperial Palace. It’s an unfortunate name as it is neither imperial nor a palace. But I suppose calling it Dingy Storefront wouldn’t attract enough tourists hungry for Dim Sum. But there are two large tables filled with Chinese-Americans and I think this is a damn good sign. If the Chinatown locals enjoy the food then how terrible can it be?

There is a white couple at the table next to me. As I study the menu, I overhear the man (who has an oval head and short, prickled hair like the bristles of a toothbrush) say to the woman (his daughter?):

“The Catholics cut a deal with Hitler and they’ve been rationalizing it away ever since.”

The rather careless waitress spills my green tea and doesn’t seem very concerned about it. I mop it up with my napkin after she departs. Overhead a sugary Chinese pop song plays on the hidden speakers. It is the kind of music that would cause inmates to riot and depressed teenagers to drown themselves in their family bathtubs.

But my instincts about the food were dead on. It’s hot and delicious. The shrimp dumplings are tasty and the barbequed pork melts on my tongue.

I follow the directions given to me by the host. Evening has settled in and the chill has become a frigid cold. I walk, hands buried deep in my pockets, pass the shops selling t-shirts, Buddha figurines, and other trinkets.

Soon I’m at North Beach. The neighborhood instantly becomes seedier, trendier, and hipper than Chinatown. A startling thought comes to me: I may not be cool enough to be walking here. Luckily, I stumble upon City Lights rather quickly.

City Lights Bookstore was founded in 1953 by the beat poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti (and Peter D. Martin). The store (named after the Charlie Chaplain movie) became a hang-out for the Beats. City Lights became world-famous after it was sued for obscenity for publishing Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl,” now considered a classic beat poem. The independent book store is now a San Francisco landmark.

This being San Francisco, City Lights has a bum lying across the entrance. He appears to be sleeping, but he could be dead (or even Jack Kerouac). One never knows. I experience a rush as I enter the legendary bookseller. The interior reeks of intellect, free thinking, and pressed paper. I’m light headed.

The interior is crowded with wooden book shelves – overflowing with tomes. The first floor is filled with novels, best-sellers, and magazines. I follow the squeaky wooden steps down to the basement. It is a wonderful place with signs describing the categories of books: “Stolen Continents,” “Muckraking,” “Anarchism,” “Class War,” and “People’s History.”

Ah.

I buy lots of books. I am lost no more.

5 Questions About: Jane Austen

Knock Your Socks Off Great Books

Read our literary criticism of Ring Lardner's "The Haircut"

Labels: books, City Lights Bookstore, Essay

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Classic Rock Bands That Are Nobody's Favorites

This is the musical equivalent of the old idiom: “Always the bridesmaid, but never the bride.”

There are classic rock bands that simply demand favorite status: the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Bruce Springsteen, U2, Van Halen, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, the Grateful Dead, Pink Floyd, The Who, etc. Their music touches people’s souls. They’ve got fan clubs and rabid fans – these are the bands that used to have their logos scrawled on high school book covers.

But then there are these classic rock bands – staples really – that are good, damn good in some instances, but they just don’t rate favorite status. Most people like these bands, but for whatever reason they don’t ignite the same passions as the great bands do.

It’s like being a B student with an older sister who is in National Honor Society. She’s got a leg up on you.

Here is our list of the 10 Greatest, But Not Favorite Classic Rock Bands:

Rush

The power rock trio from Canada have some amazing songs from “Tom Sawyer” to “Fly By Night.” They continue to be a staple on classic rock radio, but even the band acknowledges that people either hate or love them. But the love never got to favorite status for most people (who weren’t raised in the Great White North). The major problem with loving Rush seems to stem from the voice of lead singer Geddy Lee – who has one of those high-pitched voices that could wear thin after listening to it for an entire album. As a result, Rush is better digested in quick doses. But it’s hard not to like their concept album “2112” (see video above)

Bad Company

Rugged rock band Bad Company was the first band produced on Led Zeppelin’s label. The band was formed from the remains of Free, Mott the Hoople, and King Crimson, but they never achieved “great” status. But they did have some excellent early albums in “Bad Company” and “Straight Shooter.” Their self-titled “Bad Company” remains a classic heavy rock song (along with “Can’t Get Enough,” “Rock Steady,” and “Feel Like Makin’ Love”). Yet, the somehow none of Bad Company’s music hit it out of the park – great stuff, but just not favorite stuff.

ZZ Top

ZZ Top were the darlings of MTV in the early 1980s. They had a string of hits in “Pearl Necklace,” “Sharp Dressed Man,” “Legs,” and “Gimme All Your Lovin’.” But the southern fried pop rock quickly wore thin (as did the concept of hot chicks driving around in a flaming red hot rod). It’s hard not to like ZZ Top’s guitar driven music, but you’re definitely not going to have their logo tattooed on your forearm.

Boston

Surprise, surprise, surprise, the band Boston hails from Boston, Massachusetts. Talk about a band that’s got an iron grip on classic rock stations. Is it possible to listen to these stations for an hour without hearing “Smokin’,” “More Than a Feeling,” “Foreplay/Long Time” or “Don’t Look Back”? Yet despite wide-spread popularity and best selling albums this 1970s dynamo is rarely considered anybody’s favorite band.

Creedence Clearwater Revival

American roots rock band, Creedence Clearwater Revival, is another band with a lock on classic rock stations. They loaded up the charts in the 1960s and 1970s with a string of hits including: “Suzie Q,” “Proud Mary,” “Bad Moon Rising,” “Down on the Corner,” and “Run Through the Jungle.” CCR has the added advantage of being a band that makes you turn up the volume on the radio. But a favorite? Nah!

Foreigner

Foreigner barely skirts being a guilty pleasure band – barely. But they survive on classic rock stations because of their pop-infused hard rock numbers like “Feels Like the First Time,” “Cold as Ice,” “Hot Blooded,” “Head Games,” and “Dirty White Boy.” It actually surprising how many good songs are in the Foreigner catalog. Yet I venture that only one or two people in the world would admit to Foreigner being their favorite band of all time (and those people are probably the mothers of a couple of the members).

The Steve Miller Band

Is there any rock fan that doesn’t like a Steve Miller song? Here’s another classic rock band that has a long list of hit singles: “The Joker,” “Take the Money and Run,” “Fly Like an Eagle,” and “Jet Airliner.” Steve Miller rocks. But is there anyone out there that lists Steve Miller as number one? Have you seen Steve Miller lately? He looks like an accountant. And maybe that’s what held them back from reaching the next plateau – they just weren’t that interesting.

Traffic

The English psychedelic rock band responsible for the incredible “John Barleycorn Must Die” album. And who can’t get their feet tapping when “Dear Mr. Fantasy” comes on the radio? Yet Traffic suffers from being too esoteric and arty for anyone but Soho artists. Couple of cool songs – one great album – and always the bridesmaid.

Blue Oyster Cult

One of the best named bands in history (Blue Oyster Cult is from a poem by the band’s manager about a group of aliens that secretly manipulate human history). Here’ s a heavy metal band that gave us “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper,” “Burnin’ for You” and the always popular “Godzilla.” But here’s another band that suffered from a lack of personality and magnetism. Take away the music and they were boring – and dull bands aren’t favorite bands.

The J. Geils Band

I was a big fan of J. Geils Band during their heyday in the early to mid- 1980s. They put on a rollicking live concert with its blues-infused R&B rock. Peter Wolf was a great front man and lead singer and they gave us the seminal hit album “Love Stinks.” Here’s a band with a lot of great songs: “Must of Got Lost,” “Southside Shuffle,” “Whammer Jammer,” “Centerfold” and, of course, “Lost Stinks.” But even when I was loving J. Geils they were never my favorite band. They just couldn’t put enough points on the board for that (see video below).

The Best of Old Van Halen

The 9 Greatest Songs by Led Zeppelin

Labels: Bad Company, Blue Oyster Cult, Boston, Creedence Clearwater Rivival, Foreigner, J. Geils Band, Music, Rock, Rush, Steve Miller Band, Traffic, ZZ Top

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The Age of Innocence
By Edith Wharton

This one is a crier. But it is also a scathing rip at upper crust society -- particularly New Yorkers of the 1870s. Make no mistake about “The Age of Innocence” -- its a masterpiece and a joy to read. It's one of those books perfect for curling up on the couch with a warm cup of tea. In fact, it demands it. It is the story of how the narrow minds and strict protocols of New York society stifle the love affair between Newland Archer and Countess Ellen Olenska.

Archer is firmly entrenched in high society, yet experiences flashes of rebellion at its fastidious rules about appearance and reputation. He becomes engaged to May Welland, but falls passionately in love with her cousin, the countess. The countess has fled a bad marriage to her Polish husband and causes a scandal among the New York elite with her blunt personality and worldly outlook. Bending to the will of society, Archer marries May and they fall into a loveless and joyless union.

Yet his love for the countess never falters. He he remains trapped in a marriage to May until her death 25 years later. When he has a chance to see the countess again in Paris, the widowed Archer decides against it. The reader can decide if it is because his memory of the countess is better than his reality or if he now embarks on a love affair with her if he's admitting to his own weakness at having failed to pursue her 25 years earlier. “The Age of Innocence” is a powerful and heart-wrenching story – and one that every bibliophile should devour.

Grade: A

Strangeways: Murder Moon
By Matt Maxwell and Luis Guaragna

Fangs and fast guns. This is Matt Maxwell's great idea for a mash-up – combine a Western with a werewolf story. Think about "High Noon" superimposed on "American Werewolf in London."

The result is “Strangeways: Murder Moon,” a rip-roaring graphic novel that delivers scares and shoot-outs. The story features Seth Collins – a Western arch-type (the quiet loner with a quick gun). Collins ventures out West to meet up with his estranged sister and gets attacked by a werewolf while riding shotgun on a stage coach. When his best friend Webster is accused of being the werewolf, Collins sets out to capture the real monster.

There are lots of subplots and hidden agendas in “Strangeways” and some of them can be difficult to navigate. The character of Collins is also a problem as he often seems more like a conduit and plot device rather than a strong central character. But for the most part “Strangeways” delivers on its promise. The art is dark and moody – and there’s plenty of fast action to keep readers turning the pages. The graphic novel also contains an extra at the end – an excellent origin story for the werewolf, which puts an entire new spin on the main story.

If you’re into lycanthropy and six-shooters – you may have entered Nirvana.

(Full Disclosure: Matt Maxwell runs a blog called “Highway 62” that DaRK PaRTY links with)

Grade: B

Yellow Medicine
By Anthony Neil Smith

You are not going to like Deputy Sheriff Billy Lafitte. Why? Because he's a bastard.

“Yellow Medicine” is a rocket ride of a thriller set in plains of rural Minnesota that pits the Lafitte against a group of ruthless Middle Eastern terrorists. Smith has created a slickly repulsive anti-hero in Lafitte, a law officer who likes to work the angles on the criminal fringe. Lafitte is a snake charmer and a bully and many readers will have a hard time relating a character that preys on young women and callously endangers his friends.

Yet the strength of the novel is the voice of Lafitte – and watching how he adapts and changes when confronted with the difficult situations he falls into. Deep down, Lafitte has a soul, but unfortunately it rarely manifests itself. The plot stumbles a bit (how the terrorists get to the flatlands of Minnesota, for example, takes a leap of faith). The novel could also have done a better job of centering itself and given readers more insight into the larger picture. However, watching Lafitte in action is a delight (even if you cringe at a lot of his behavior). “Yellow Medicine” is more character study than the typical plot-driven thriller – and for the most part that’s a good thing.

Grade: B

All Quiet on the Western Front

By Erich Maria Remarque

“All Quiet on the Western Front” is one of the greatest anti-war novels ever written. It’s vivid portrayal of the horrendous conditions and life threatening dangers of trench warfare during the Great War. Paul Baumer is a young, enthusiastic student who joins the German Army at the outbreak of the war with France and England. But as the months turn into years, Paul becomes a hard-bitten soldier who understands all to well that the horrors he has witnessed have destroyed his innocence and possibly his ability to ever live a normal civilian life. The graphic details of the trenches, the combat, the hospitals, and the mindset of the average German soldier of the time, make “All Quiet on the Western Front” a fascinating slice of history. But the narration by Paul and the characters that make up his unit provide an emotional backbone to the novel that sticks with a reader long after putting the novel. “All Quiet on the Western Front” gets our highest recommendation.

Grade: A

Read our last Cracked-Back Reviews, includes "World War Z" and "99 Coffins"

Read our apology to Novelist Cormac McCarthy

Labels: Anthony Neil Smith, book review, books, Cracked-Back, Edith Wharton, Erich Maria Remarque, Matt Maxwell

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The True Story of How H.R. Pufnstuf Destroyed a Boy's Life

By Rev. Colson Crosslick

Stevie Shetkan is a member of my congregation at the Pretty Good Shepherd Church in Ripsaw, Arkansas. He’s a reformed heroin addict and male prostitute (who admittedly has nice thighs) who used to do anything – and I mean anything – to score his next fix.

When Stevie let the shining golden light lasers of Jesus into his life – his life turned around. He’s now a successful day laborer living in a boarding house and earning just enough money to squeeze by while paying his ex-wife alimony and child support. His life wasn’t always this good.

Stevie used to live in an expensive hotel in downtown Little Rock, wear fashionable new clothes, and turn “tricks” with rock stars, lawyers, and businessmen while pumping heroin into his veins.

How did Stevie Shetkan become a drug-addled vamp?

The answer will amaze your Christian sensibilities – the TV show “H.R. Pufnstuf.” The younger folks among you might not remember this staple of Saturday mornings. Supposedly it was a live-action puppet show full of fun and innocent silliness. The plot revolved around a young boy and his magic flute being transformed to another realm lead by a friendly dragon named H.R. Pufnstuf.

But in reality “H.R. Pufnstuf” was a subversive counterculture TV show that lured innocent children into the drug culture of the 1970s and 1980s. The program, as you’ll see, urged children to smoke marijuana and try acid – two dangerous illegal narcotics that lead children to cocaine and heroin addiction as well as to experimentation with the dark pleasures of homosexuality.

The show is almost as bad as the “Curious George” books – one of the most anti-Christian children’s series in world history. It was also the grandfather of other modern shows allegedly for children, but actually subversive liberal brainwashing programs (“Barney” and “The Teletubbies,” for example).

The “H.R. Pufnstuf” program was the creation of two evil men – Sid and Marty Krofft (who have a mysterious Jewish sounding name – not that I have anything against Hebrews other than they scorn the Lord Christ Jesus). The Kroffts are responsible for many children’s TV shows such as “Land of the Lost,” “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters,” and “The Bugaloos.”

But “H.R. Pufnstuf” was their shining tribute to illegal drugs. How do I know this? Because, my friends, the evidence can be found on the Internet. “Like many good things from that era, H.R. Pufnstuf was full of nods to the prevailing stoner counter-culture, and included many sly pot and drug references,” according to the Web site of Cannabis Culture Magazine (a left-wing liberal pro-drug rag).

The loony liberal magazine goes on to say:

“Although the marijuana and drug references are sometimes subtle, they are laced throughout the entire series. Some highlights include Witchiepoo offering a minion a "roach beef sandwich," Freddy the Flute getting turned into a magic mushroom, Pufnstuf telling Cling and Clang to "stop sniffing" the magic smoke, and Jimmy dosing Witchiepoo with a Love Potion.”

Then there is the matter of H.R. Pufnstuf’s name – which is pronounced “Puffing Stuff.” He’s also a magic dragon in much the same way as “Puff the Magic Dragon,” a marijuana tribute song by Peter, Paul, and Mary.

Marty Krofft, in a moment of candor, has even admitted that H.R. Pufnstuf was an intentional marijuana reference. The sly evildoer! But all you have to do is watch the show. It’s obvious! Look at the trippy colors, the weird props, and the talking mushrooms practically begging children to fire up the water bong.

“Every episode is like an acid trip,” Stevie Shetkan told me. “After watching it, I wanted to smoke pot like you read about. And I didn’t even know what pot was!”

He soon found out from his older brother (who was also hypnotized by the uber-liberal show). First came the dope – then came the hard drugs – and then, of course, the sex with horny, well-toned men. These kinds of “children” shows should be banned – and we should be going at “Barney” and “Teletubbies” just hard!

Stop them before they turn your child into another Stevie Shetkan.

(The Rev. Colson Crosslick is pastor of the Pretty Good Shepherd Church in Ripsaw, Arkansas. In the past, he has called for a boycott of all TV programs dedicated to children that don't replay excerpts of the Holy Bible. He also writes the regularly appearing column Under God's Right Arm for DaRK PaRTY.)

Labels: Culture, HR Pufnstuf, Parody, TV, Under God's Right Arm

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“I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet.”

It’s a disturbing image – and one that might be difficult to refute these days. Conventional wisdom suggests that we’ve entered a tipping point on the environment. Our culture of modern conveniences, technologies, and machines has knocked the natural order of the planet, well, into orbit.

Our sins are many from increases in industrial farming (requiring chemical fertilizers, ever-increasingly potent pesticides, and overuse of antibiotics on cattle and chickens) to an overabundance of smog-clogging automobiles causing air pollution and ozone depletion.

But a careful review of the mounting evidence seems to show that we aren’t heading for a major crisis – but that we’re already knee-deep in one. Just take a glimpse at the recent news headlines:

• Honeybees are dying by the millions – up to 90 percent of hives in some regions. Biologists call the unknown killer “colony collapse disorder” – a colorless government term for labeling this fierce and mysterious plague. Honeybees are crucial to pollinating flowers and fruits (apples and oranges, for example, can’t grow without them). In fact, the U.S. Department of Agriculture says honeybees pollinate about $15 billion worth of crops in the U.S. alone. One theory is that a virus has struck the bees because their immune systems have been weakened and destabilized by overexposure to toxins and pesticides.
  

• Thousands of bats in the Northeast are dying from a mysterious disease and biologists are worried that tens of thousands of bats could die this year. Many bat caves have seen 100 percent mortality rates. Scientists are speculating that that toxins and pesticides have weakened the bats and destroyed a lot of their food supplies in the last few years – making them susceptible to disease. There has also been speculation that the electromagnetic radiation emitted by cell phones is responsible. Bats are crucial to controlling insect populations – especially mosquitoes.

• Climate change, caused by carbon dioxide emissions, continue unabated. The number of category 4 and 5 hurricanes has doubled in the last 30 years, Malaria has spread to higher altitudes, ice flow from glaciers in Greenland has more than doubled in the last 10 years, and 279 species of plants and animals are moving closer to the poles, according Al Gore’s movie “An Inconvenient Truth.”

• The dead zone in the Gulf of Mexico at the mouth of the Mississippi River has become as large as the state of New Jersey – and continues to expand. Few creatures can live in this oxygen-deprived desert of ocean, which is caused by nitrogen-rich fertilizer that runs off from industrial farms in the Corn Belt into the Mississippi River.

If these four examples don’t convince you that human activity is changing the environment then perhaps reports from the World Health Organization that global cancer rates may increase by as much as 50 percent by 2020 will.

Yet, the conversation on how to turn back – to save what we haven’t yet destroyed – continues to be a backburner issue, especially in the United States.

Perhaps one reason is our arrogance and unfounded confidence that the technologies that brought us to this precipice will ultimately save us. This is ironic since these technologies (automobiles, air conditioning, plastics, radiation, etc.) are what have led us here in the first place.

We have a tendency to embrace new technologies before we fully understand how they will affect us in the long term. Isn’t that why we painted our homes with lead paint and used asbestos to insulate our pipes? Recently, we’re learning that plastic water bottles – already owned by most American families – may increase the risk of cancer.

As Agent Smith might have observed, human beings think they can improve Mother Nature. We believe that we can do it better – despite a history of shoddy results.

That’s why we end in situations like this one: We force feed our cattle corn – when they evolved to eat grass. By forcing them to eat corn, the majority become sick, so we treat the corn with antibiotics to keep the cattle alive and healthy long enough to slaughter them. As a result, we dine on sick, drug-infused beef while overusing antibiotics to a point that they’re becoming less effective.

Or why we end up pouring tons of chemicals on our lawns – forcing grass to grow lush and green in environments unnatural to the species. Believe it or not, but Arizona isn’t supposed to have grass. It’s a desert.

It’s time for the environment to become a top and urgent priority in the United States. The economy, gas taxes, and the war in Iraq all pale in comparison with the sorry state of our sick planet. We’ve broken it and now we need to fix it. Without Earth – what else is there?

Read some of our other essays:

The Threat of Bottled Water

The Trouble with the Mormon Religion

Labels: environment, Essay, Global Warming, water

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From “Beef Magazine”

• Is Your Dewormer WORKING?
• The Sex Ratio Riddle
• The Weaning Two-Step

From “Backyard Poultry”

• Chicken Broth: A Way of Life
• Unbelievable Egg Nest Material
• A Poultry Love Story

From “Food Processing”

• Your Sanitation Can Be Greener
• What Color is Your Peanut Butter?
• Just Say No To Clones

From “Refrigerated & Frozen Foods Retailer”

• Can “Shelf Life” Be a “Shelf Lie?”
• Too Many Organics!?!
• My Yogurt Needs Help!

From “Beverage Industry”

• Non-Carbs Shine While Sparkling Struggles
• Combating Aggressive Drivers

From “Food Product Design”

• Herbs and Spices: Hot and Healthy
• Hooray for Hazelnuts
• Fired Up About Chiles

From “Pig International”

• Bitten Tails: This Breeder Sees An Electrical Connection
• Q&A with Denmark’s Mr. Pig Production
• Farm-grown Microbes Fight the Smell

From “SeaFood Business”

• Pass the Selenium
• Fried Food Freedom
• Fish Farms Can’t Catch a Break

From “Snack Food & Wholesale Bakery”

• Please Feed the Models
• Health Q&A: Straight Talk on Saving Babies
• No Pouch, No Tools, No Service

From “National Provisioner”

• Kill Floor Improvements
• Beyond Soap and Water
• Spicing Up The Grind

Labels: Food, Humor, Media

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• Max over at the Drunken Severed Head has a thoughtful post about the trials and tribulations of writing a blog – and the difficulties of avoiding blog burnout. He notes: “I do have mixed feelings about blogging… I do sometimes feel "a burden of guilt" when I go several days without posting.” We can relate!
  

• The Dane of War posts his list of the “50 Films You Must See Before You Die” Included among “A Clockwork Orange,” “Se7en,” “300,” and “12 Monkeys” is “Forrest Gump.” Hmmm.
  

• Bybee at Naked Without Books just finished reading “Oil” by Upton Sinclair (the movie “There Will Be Blood” is based on it) and makes an interesting connection to John Steinbeck’s “In Dubious Battle.”
  

• Over at Ward 6, JR Lennon celebrates discovering good writing in unexpected places.
  

• The Sci-fi Chick has a sneak peek at “The Incredible Hulk” trailer starring the always good Ed Norton. For those disappointed in Ang Lee’s “Hulk,” the sequel looks much better.
  

• Want a belly laugh? Then head on over to Pop Sensation where Rex Parker analyzes the covers of his pulp fiction collection.
  

• Ever wonder what happened to Mary Badham, the little actress who played Scout in the movie “To Kill a Mockingbird?” Well Sam Houston over at Book Chase has the answer – and an updated photo of the 55-year-old Badham.
  

• Aidan Moher at A Dribble of Ink doesn’t like the cover of the new Terry Brook’s novel “The Genesis of Shannara.”
  

• Larurens Lambert at The Gravel Pit pans the new Robert Crais novel “The Watchman,” which kind of bums us out as fans of the Elvis Cole private eye series.
  

• Joe Valdez at This Distracted Globe analyzes the hell out of the Julia Stiles vehicle “Save the Last Dance.” And god help us, now we want to see it.

(Would you like to be popular? Do you want to go from a 90-pound weakling to a strapping 190-pound bully? Do you want better hair? How about a complete personality transplant? Then you should be part of the DaRK PaRTY NeTWORK where dreams come true! If you scribbling nonsense about culture, literature, books, movies, poetry, music or writing then why not exchange links with us? We don’t bite and we’re relatively clean on non-weekend days. Drop us a note at darkpartyreview(AT)gmail(DOT)com or leave us a comment (comments make our day) and tell us about you and your blog or Web site. If we decide to be link buddies you’ll be part of the DP Network and part of our Magical Mystery Tour posts. It’s that easy!)

Labels: Dark Party, links, Magical Mystery Tour

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Famous Literary Characters in the Free Market

(The beautiful thing about literary characters is how they can transcend the pages where they were born. Some characters become so engrained into the cultural psyche of society that the classics where they originally appear become a footnote. How many people, for example, have read Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein?” Yet, Frankenstein’s monster is an icon of our culture – you don’t have to read the book to understand the monster. The monster is everywhere – in movies, comic books, on lunch boxes, TV shows, in jokes.

DaRK PaRTY wanted to see how ingrained some of these legendary characters have become – especially in the world of business. You’d be very surprised at the occupations and companies using literary figures to shill their goods and services).

Huck Finn’s Warehouse & More

Located in Albany, New York, Huck Finn’s Warehouse prides itself on being the area’s largest retail outlet specializing in any item for the home. It has more than 240,000 square feet selling everything from furniture couches to socket wrenches at 20 to 50 percent off. “Huck prides himself on having the best sales associates and customer service people anywhere!” according to the web site.

We’re not quite sure that free spirited Huck would have settled down for a life of selling garden furniture, but people do strange things when they grow up.

Tarzan Company

Who better than the Lord of the Apes to start an international information services company? Not only can Tarzan speak English, French and Gorilla, but he’s an expert at hunting and gathering. So when the Tarzan Company promises “to provide services in finding, gathering, and sorting information” it isn’t making hollow promises.

Tom Sawyer’s Gluten Free Products

Located in sunny Sedona, Arizona, Tom Sawyer’s Gluten Free Products have apparently won lots of awards. The primary product is Tom Sawyer All-Purpose Gluten Free Flour. The company’s logo is Tom Sawyer in his straw hat white-washing a fence.

We had no idea that Tom had Celiac Disease and couldn’t digest gluten. It must have made eating Aunt Becky’s apples pies difficult.

Hamlet Video International Limited

A U.K. based company that is dedicated to building measurement and monitoring equipment for the television industry. The company’s tagline is: “Excellence in Vision.” One wonders if Hamlet throws himself at the feet of potential customers and mutters things like: “O! what a rogue and peasant slave am I!”

MacBeth Foot Wear

A shoe company that refuses to use any “animal parts or skins” in its products. It has several brands of shoes such as the Bronson, Eliot, Jackson, and the Wallister. He believe the Wallister – with its signature low profile vulcanized outsole – would have proven to be a stealthy shoe for sneaking about an old Scottish Castle. Bizarre that a group of peaceful vegan cobblers would name their company after man who stabs his king to death while he slept and then has his wife frame the king’s servants.

Long John Silvers Restaurants

It might surprise you to know one of the most treacherous and dangerous pirates in literature opened up “the world’s most famous popular quick-service seafood chain with more than 1,200 restaurants worldwide.” But it’s true. The company’s rather grotesquely named “Buttered Lobster Bits” are now here! Ahoy, Matey!

Conan Traders Inc.

The savage barbarian from Cimmeria opened an auto transportation company in California specializing in shipping other vehicles – quickly and safely (unless, of course, attacked by a rogue wizard – then all bets are off). Conan is fully licensed and insured and if you don’t like it? Well, how would you like a two-handed sword splitting your skull in half?

Sherlock Holmes Mobile Homes

Apparently when he retired from solving crimes and murders in Victorian England, the world’s greatest detective moved to Illinois and opened up a mobile home company. Basically, the lesson here is that an opium addiction will make you nuts. But admittedly the name of the company has a certain ring to it.

Peter Pan Bus Lines

He did go grow up. And now he’s a bus driver. If you’re running away from Lost Boys , pirates, and responsibilities, we suppose, hiding out on a bus is a good place. But at least Peter is dedicated “to providing the best transportation service in America.” Peter will also drive you to Foxwoods Resort and Casino so you can gamble away your cash. What guy!

Gatsby Grounds

We all know Jay Gatsby had a great lawn at East Egg. But after the whole disaster with Daisy, the Great Gatsby decided it was time to head to Lancaster, Massachusetts to open a lawn care company. He doesn’t mess around either – bringing the same dogged determination he showcased in Fitzgerald’s novel to his fertilizer and tree/shrub programs. He’ll even help you with erosion control.

Moby Dick’s House of Kabob

When you’re a great white whale – symbolizing man’s quest for God –and you’ve had a rough day at the office killing mad Captain Ahab and sinking the whale ship the Pequod there’s not much left to do – except open a kabob restaurant in Washington D.C. (with branches in the surrounding suburbs). Your menu, of course, will include Fish Kabob (chunks of swordfish marinated in a special house seasoning).

5 Questions About: Sherlock Holmes

The Legends of Literature -- Part Two

Labels: books, Humor, literature

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An Exclusive Interview with Glenn Mercer, Front man for the Feelies

(The Feelies were the “it” bad of the indie press back in the early and late 1980s. In fact, R.E.M. says the Feelies' “Crazy Rhythms” album was a major influence. The Feelies were a band that gave new meaning to guitar-driven rock. They infused punk and alternative stylings into classic rock components to create a unique sound. The band, which received rave reviews from critics, never quite broke into the mainstream. They broke up in 1992. But the music gods are kind and the Feelies are gearing up for a reunion tour this summer and possibly a new album. Glenn Mercer, the Feelies lead guitarist and singer, gave an exclusive interview to DaRK PaRTY.)

DaRK PaRTY: You started playing music with a band called Outkids in 1976, which evolved into the Feelies. Who came up with the name and why did you decide that the "Feelies" represented the music you were playing?

Glenn: I started playing music in bands for years before the Outkids, but that was the first one to play original songs. Bill suggested the name, from the book Brave New World. It didn't really have any connection to the sound, which was more traditional garage/punk early on. When the textures developed, the sound seemed to fit the name more, but it wasn't planned, it was a natural progression.

DP: Was there a philosophy behind the music? What were you trying to accomplish with the Feelies?

Glenn: We didn't discuss 'band philosophy', we just played, jammed, developed, like most bands, until we arrived at a sound. It was based as much on what we left out as what we put in to the music. Another factor is that we wanted to reflect the environment that we lived and worked in - the suburbs and the sounds within our neighborhood.

DP: "Crazy Rhythms" was released to amazing critical praise in 1980 (the Village Voice called it one of the best albums of 1980). What was your reaction to being an "it" band and having the music industry fawn all over you?

Glenn: I think we felt a little bit of relief, because we knew the record was unique and didn't really fit with much of what was around then. At the same time, we had the confidence that it would do well. We had recorded a four song demo that came out sounding real good, considering that it was done quickly in a small, bare-bones studio, so we had faith in our recording capabilities. We also realized that good reviews can only take you so far, and that many other challenges lay ahead.

DP: Despite the great reception to "Crazy Rhythms," the Feelies didn't release another album until "The Good Earth" in 1986. What was the reason for the delay and do you think it played a role in why the Feelies didn't become a commercial success?

Glenn: The delay was a result of the band breaking up and re-forming. The second line-up was in place by '83/84, so it wasn't that much time. We then spent a few years writing songs and securing a record deal, so we stayed pretty busy during that time period. We also had involvement with our side-bands, the Trypes, the Willies and Yung Wu.

As far as the impact to our commercial success, I don't think we ever fit into the traditional idea of 'commercial'. At that time, during the late 80's, college radio was a major outlet for alternative music and we had a lot of success at that level. The long time between our 1st and 2nd record may have even helped the band in many ways. It gave us a better perspective on how and why we fit into the 'industry'. I think that we found that the business had changed in good ways, making it easier for us in the long run.

DP: Our favorite album is "Only Life"(1988) -- which kicks major ass. Can you tell us about how the album came about and your favorite song from the LP?

Glenn: “Only Life” began the same as the others, with a collection of songs written over the course of several years. This was our first on a 'major label', so we might have felt a bit more pressure to produce something that would take us to another level beyond the college market. At the same time, we felt very confident, having the success of the “Good Earth” and “Crazy Rhythms.” We recorded most of it at a top-level studio in New York City in comfortable surroundings and it was a pleasure to make. My favorite song on that album is Higher Ground. I've had many people tell me that the song has been an inspiration to them, and you can't ask for more than that, as a song writer.

Bonus Question: It's been announced that the band plans to have a reunion tour this summer. Are the Feelies back and are you recording a new album?

Glenn: We're playing a few shows in N.J. and N.Y. and might play more in other places, like Chicago and Boston. We're also working on some new songs, with the idea of recording another record.

5 Underrated Bands from the 1980s (includes the Feelies)

The World's Greatest "Live" Reggae Album

Labels: 5 Questions, Alternative, Glenn Mercer, interview, Music, The Feelies

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Tobias Wolff

Profile: Wolff is primarily known for his short fiction and his memoirs, but don’t discount his two fantastic short novels, the best being “Old School.” Wolff, 62, was born in Birmingham, Alabama and currently teaches English and writing at Stanford University. His most famous memoir “This Boy’s Life” recounts his troubled childhood in Seattle with an abusive stepfather (it was later made into a movie with Robert DeNiro). A second memoir “In the Pharaoh’s Army” recounts Wolff’s tour of duty in Vietnam with the U.S. Army.

Why He Excels: We don’t even like memoirs, but try and put Wolff down. It’s impossible. His books, novels, and short stories are magnets to the soul. Wolff is an old school writer – clear, no-nonsense, concise, but probing. He captures the male psyche and its fragile, macho intensity like no other writer.

His Damn Good Book: “Old School” was published in 2003. A high school senior at an elite prep school in the Northeast narrates the novel. The story revolves around a writing contest in which the student winner each semester gets to meet a famous writer: Robert Frost, Ayn Rand, and Ernest Hemingway. Each of the writers appears as a character in the story (the scenes with Ayn Rand border on the hilarious). But the book is really a coming of age story that addresses issues like class and ethnic identity – but also what it means to be grow up with integrity and honesty in a world that values neither.

Tim O’Brien

Profile: O’Brien, 61, was born in Austin, Minnesota, a small town with about 9,000 people. After graduating from college in 1968, he was drafted into the Army and spent two tours of duty in Vietnam. It those two years of combat that figures prominently in O’Brien’s fiction, especially “The Things They Carried” and “Going After Cacciato” (which won a National Book Award). O’Brien went to Harvard after the war and became a journalist. He’s currently a visiting professor at Southwest Texas State University where he teaches creative writing.

Why He Excels: O’Brien blends his own realities with his fiction – primarily his combat experiences in Vietnam. O’Brien says that the fictional truths of his novels are actually “truer” than the realities he experienced during the war. O’Brien often writes in a detached, observational way that gives his images that much more emotional power. He’s unforgiving of the small town mentality. He said of his own hometown: "A town that congratulates itself, day after day, on its own ignorance of the world: a town that got us into Vietnam. Uh, the people in that town sent me to that war, you know, couldn't spell the word 'Hanoi' if you spotted them three vowels." O’Brien is a writer of quiet, but furious courage and his books are not easy to forget.

His Damn Good Book: “In the Lake of the Woods” is an explosive novel about a politician and Vietnam veteran who moves to Lake of the Woods, Minnesota shortly after losing a bid for the U.S. Senate. John Wade wakes up one morning to discover that his wife is missing. Using flashbacks from Wade’s childhood, Vietnam experiences, and failed campaign as well as testimonials and court documents, O’Brien delivers a mystery of what happened to Wade’s wife Kathy. Be prepared for a novel that sticks to your brain like thick oatmeal.

Peter Dexter

Profile: Dexter was born in Pontiac, Michigan in 1943. He was a newspaper columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News, Sacramento Bee, and the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. He turned to fiction writing after a mob of angry Daily News readers attacked him with baseball bats in 1981 (and left him partially disabled). He won the National Book Award for Fiction for his novel “Paris Trout.” He lives in Seattle where he also writes screenplays (“Michael” and “Mulholland Falls”).

Why He Excels: Dexter is a tough guy (he used to be a boxer) who writes about tough guys. He’s unflinching in his portrayal of his flawed characters – especially the men. His prose is brutally honest and come at you like a nail into the forehead. Dexter writes like Hemingway – saying more in the spaces between words than in the actual prose.

His Damn Good Book: “Paris Trout” is a gem, but our favorite is “The Paperboy.” It’s the story of two brothers, son the editor of the Moat County Tribune. The oldest, Ward, now a Miami Times reporter, comes home with his partner, to investigate the murder of the county sheriff. The younger brother, Jack, a college dropout, joins his brother in the investigation. The resulting story leads to the release of the murderer. The novel probes the brother’s relationship, Ward’s sexuality, and the nature of journalism.

Raymond Carver

Profile: Carver died in 1988 at the age of 50. He may be the greatest short story writer of the late 20^th century. Carver was born in Oregon to an alcoholic father who worked in a sawmill and a mother who was a waitress. He graduated from high school and then married young. He supported his family by working as a janitor, a laborer and a truck driver. He took classes on writer and the novelist John Gardner became a major influence on him. He eventually graduated from college and became a teacher. He died of lung cancer.

Why He Excels: Carver’s stories cut to the bone. Despite being a minimalist writer, Carver’s stories revealed the quiet desperation lurking in all of us. He wrote about disenchantment with the American dream and the dark inner secrets of working men and women. His stories sneak up on you and leave a mark.

His Damn Good Book: “Will You Please Be Quiet, Please” is a collection of 22 early stories by Carver. The works includes classics like “Night School,” “Put Yourself in My Shoes,” “They’re Not Your Husband,” and “Nobody Said Anything.”

Charles Bukowski

Profile: Bukowski died in 1994 at the age of 73. He is often called the “Poet Laureate of Skid Row.” Buk was born in Germany, but his parents immigrated to Los Angeles, California after the economic collapse of Germany following the Great War. Buk was abused by his father and suffered from an extreme case of acne as a child. After high school, he published two short stories, but quit for a decade wandering around the U.S. doing odd jobs. He returned to LA where he worked for the post office. He quit the post office and became a full-time writer at the age of 49.

Why He Excels: Bukowski’s poetry and prose deals with the inglorious lives of the working class. Critics often pan his work as being anti-social and dirty, but they fail to recognize the intensity and honesty of Buk’s work. Since his death, he’s become a literary icon and often portrayed in popular culture.

His Damn Good Book: “Post Office” is Buk’s portrayal of his decade working for the U.S. postal service – detailing the petty jealousies and bureaucratic bear traps of the organization. But it’s also a novel about a man finding himself in middle age and taking a chance on a dream to be a writer.

Read our review on Bukowski’s impact on literature

Read our literary criticism of Raymond Carver’s short story “They’re Not Your Husband”

Read our literary criticism of Tobias Wolff’s “Casualty”

Labels: Bukowski, Fiction, Pete Dexter, Raymond Carver, Tim O'Brien, Tobias Wolff, Writing

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Breakfast Club

Released: 1985

Director: John Hughes

Starring: Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, and Ally Sheedy

Worst Actor: Emilio Estevez – stiff and unnatural per usual.

Best Actor: Emilio Estevez – for the scene where he confesses why he’s in detention. It’s the best piece of acting he’s ever done. Unfortunately, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Plot: Five high school students – a criminal, a princess, a jock, a brain and a basket case – send a Saturday in detention. At first, they fall into their respective stereotypes, but slowly they open up and begin to see each other as real people.

Poignant Moment: Varsity wrestler Andrew Clark (Estevez) tells the others that he’s in detention for taping a nerds butt cheeks together. The story starts out amusing, but Andy realizes that he has tortured and humiliated another boy in order to please his demanding father. He ends up in tears and talks about how much he hates his father.

Funniest Line: “It’s sort of social, demented and sad, but social.”

Best Song: “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by the Simple Minds

Why It Feels Dated: “The Breakfast Club” actually feels less dated than most 80s teen flicks. The movie is filled entirely in a school library on a Saturday – so there’s not much in the way of technology or fashion to make it feel old. Even the outfits wore by the kids would hold up in today’s world.

Cool Fact #1: The opening shots of the movie show different scenes inside the deserted high school and the camera shows graffiti scrawl that says: “I don’t like Mondays.” This is a reference to Brenda Spencer who attacked an elementary school with a gun killing two adults and injuring some children. When asked why she did it, she answered: “I don’t like Mondays.” This is clearly a reference to the potential for violence in Judd Nelson’s character Bender.

Cool Fact #2: In the same sequence, the camera alights on a glass case filled with awards and a picture of a student with the words: “Man of the Year” over it. The photograph is of Carl Reed – the custodian in the movie.

Sixteen Candles

Released: 1984

Director: John Hughes

Starring: Molly Ringwald, Justin Henry, Anthony Michael Hall, John Cusack, Michael Schoeffling, Jami Gertz, and Gedde Watanabe

Worst Actor: Michael Schoeffling as love interest Jake Ryan. He’s got as much range as a cricket trapped in a mayonnaise jar.

Best Actor: Jami Gertz in a minor role as a giggling drunk girl. She shows more emotional depth in two minutes than Molly Ringwald manages in the entire movie.

Plot: A high school girl turns 16 on the eve of her older sister getting married. Her family forgets and she proceeds to have the worst day of her life. But in the end, she ends up with the most popular boy in school.

Poignant Moment: When Molly Ringwald confines to her father, actor Justin Baker, that she’s fallen in love with the class jock.

Funniest Line: “Oh, Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she’s gotten her boobies!”

Best Song: “Sixteen Candles” doesn’t quite have the rock chops of other teen 80s flicks, but the move does have David Bowie doing “Young Americans.”

Why It Feels Dated: Mostly because Anthony Michael Hall and Molly Ringwald were 16 years old when the movie was released – and, well, have you seen them lately? They’re middle-aged!

Cool Fact #1: “Sixteen Candles” is often associated with sweetness and innocence and the start of the Brat Pack movies. It’s practically a kids’ movie, right? Not quite. First, there’s the full frontal nudity of Haviland Morris taking a soapy shower as Molly Ringwald and her friend spy on her and comment on her considerable assets. Then there’s the Anthony Michael Hall as the Geek basically date raping Haviland while she’s passed out drunk. Thirdly, how about Gedde Watanabe as Long Duk Dong passed out drunk on the front lawn? There’s so much sex and

alcohol abuse in “Sixteen Candles” it resembles “Animal House” more than “Mary Poppins.”

Cool Fact #2: Premiere, the movie industry magazines, voted Michael Anthony Hall’s line to Molly Ringwald: “Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?” as number 86 in their ranking of the 100 best movie lines.

Say Anything

Released: 1989

Director: Cameron Crowe

Starring: John Cusack, Joan Cusack, Ione Skye, John Mahoney, Lili Taylor, Pamela Adlon, and Loren Dean.

Worst Actor: Loren Dean as the

Lili Taylor’s boyfriend, Joe. Talk about wide-eyed and dim-witted.

Best Actor: Ione Skye as the cute, lovable, and brilliant Diane Court. Who among us would be worthy?

Plot: Upon graduation, slacker, but all around nice guy, Lloyd Dobler, decides he wants to date the smartest and prettiest girl in his class, Diane Court. They date through the summer, break-up because of the legal troubles of her father, and then end up back together again.

Poignant Moment: A heartbroken John Cusack plays Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” on a boom box outside of Ione Skye’s bedroom window. He looks like a wounded puppy as he holds the box over his head.

Funniest Line: “She’s gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”

Best Song: “Back in the Saddle” by Aerosmith

Why It Feels Dated: When is the last time you saw a high school student wearing a Clash t-shirt?

Cool Fact #1: The following actors were considered for the role of Lloyd Dobler before it was given to Cusack: Kirk Cameron, Robert Downey Jr., and Christian Slater.

Cool Fact #2: Director Cameron Crowe asked the band the Smithereens to write the love song for the movie and they came up with “A Girl Like You.” However, Crowe thought the lyrics gave too much of the movie’s plot away and passed on it. He finally settled on Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes.”

Valley Girl

Released: 1983

Director: Martha Coolidge

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Deborah Foreman, Elizabeth Daily, Michael Bowen, Cameron Dye, and Heidi Holicker

Worst Actor: Deborah Foreman as love interest Julie Richman gives an uneven performance – not to mention that ridiculous grin that you want to slap off her face with a free-range chicken carcass.

Best Actor: Nicolas Cage as Randy (in his first major movie role) sets himself apart with a complicated and emotionally charged performance.

Plot: Basically, Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” set in the Valley and Hollywood. Cage plays the Hollywood punk bad boy who falls head over heels in love with Valley Girl Foreman. Peer pressure gets to her and she bre

aks up with him. But in continues to pursue her and eventually they get back together.

Poignant Moment: A heartbroken Nicholas Cage gets raging drunk at a punk club and upon leaving gets into an argument with a group of Latino gang members cruising by in a low rider. His buddy saves him and Cage ends up puking in the alley. His buddy decides to help him get his girlfriend back.

Funniest Line: “That techno-rock you guys listen to is gutless.”

Best Song: “Eyes of a Stranger” by the Payolas

Why It Feels Dated: Nicholas Cage has his own hair (and no hair piece).

Cool Fact #1: Hard to fathom that a movie this deep was written in 10 days.

Cool Fact #2: The movie poster for the movie features Nicholas Cage wearing a black vest and tie without a shirt. His hair is spiked up and his abs are rock hard and ridged. In other words – he looks like an idiot.

Pretty in Pink

Released: 1986

Director: Howard Deutch

Starring: Molly Ringwald, Harry Dean Stanton, Jon Cryer, Annie Potts, James Spader, Andrew McCarthy, and Andrew Dice Clay

Worst Actor: Has Andrew McCarthy ever been good in anything? He’s at his pouty worst in “Pretty in Pink.” One wishes that Andrew Dice Clay had gotten roaring drunk one night and pounded McCarthy into Wisconsin cheese.

Best Actor: James Spader as Steff – the reprehensible rich asshole.

The performance is pure sweetness – especially the scene when he blatantly hits on Molly Ringwald after shaming the crybaby Blane into thinking he’s slumming because he has a crush on her.

Plot: Poor girl, Andy, and the popular rich boy, Blane, fall in love. Their friends fight against it. Blane crumbles like feta cheese and dumps Andy – but in the end he comes crawling back on prom night.

Poignant Moment: Andy deciding that Blane dumping her for another girl at the prom won’t break her – and then making her own prom dress out of some pink curtains or something.

Funniest Line: “Money really means nothing to me. Do you think I’d treat my parents’ house this way if it did?”

Best Song: The best song, unfortunately, was left off the soundtrack. It is “Positively Lost Me” by the Rave-Ups.

Why It Feels Dated: It’s “Pretty in Pink.” Just saying the name of the movie makes us feel like old bastards.

Cool Fact #1: Robert Downey Jr. and Anthony Michael Hall were co

nsidered for the role of Duckie. Molly Ringwald said that if Downey had taken the role, the original ending of Duckie getting the girl would probably have happened. The ending we want involves Duckie and Blane dying in a gay suicide pack and Steff winning over Andy.

Cool Fact #2: DaRK PaRTY will forever hate “Pretty in Pink” because of the decision to leave the Rave-Ups off the soundtrack – despite them performing two songs in the movie. What a raw deal for a band as good as the Rave-Ups. Instead, the fame went to OMD – a crap techno-rock band.

The Sure Thing

Released: 1985

Director: Rob Reiner

Starring: John Cusack, Daphne

Zuniga, Anthony Edwards, Tim Robbins, and Boyd Gaines

Worst Actor: No one stands out as terribly bad in “The Sure Thing,” which is a credit to Director Rob Reiner.

Best Actor: John Cusack hands in the comedic performance that makes him, well, John Cusack. Cusack has magnificent timing for a comedian and one of the best ironic expressions for delivering sarcastic one-liners. This is the movie were he learn how to do all that.

Plot: A college freshman slacker’s buddy promises him a “sure thing” if he comes to California for spring break. He travels with an egghead female across the country. The two of them can’t stand each other – so, of course, they fall madly in love with one another.

Poignant Moment: The last scene of the movie ha

s Cusack’s English professor reading his essay called “The Sure Thing” and when it becomes clear that he didn’t score – because he was in love with Daphne – she lights up like a Christmas tree and they are back together again.

Funniest Line: “I was in Paris once with my wife. Boy, am I glad she’s dead.”

Best Song: “The Sure Thing” doesn’t have the blockbuster soundtrack of other teen flicks of this era, but I do like “Infatuation” by Rod Stewart.

Why It Feels Dated: There’s a Huey Lewis song on the soundtrack. Huey Lewis was sounding dated in 1989.

Cool Fact #1: The movie was the second by Rob Reiner. His first, of course, was the classic “This is Spinal Tap.”

Cool Fact #2: Some of the campus scenes were filmed at University of the Pacific, but the college in the movie is on the east coast. So Reiner had fake snow pumped on the grass for a scene were Cusack runs across the snowy campus. The fake snow killed the grass at UOP after the filming was completed. Oops!

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Released: 1986

Director: John Hughes

Starring: Matthew Broderick, Alan Ruck, Mia Sara, Jeffrey Jones, Jennifer Grey, Charlie Sheen, Ben Stein, and Cindy Pickett.

Worst Actor: Jennifer Grey as Jeanie Bueller, Ferris’ little sister, is an annoyance throughout the movie. Grey’s skills as an actress are questionable – and here she proves the questions are warranted.

Best Actor: It was be easy to pick Matthew Broderick as Ferris – because he truly shines as the high school rapscallion. However, Charlie Sheen’s role as “Boy in Police Station” nearly steals the film.

Plot: An irrepressible high school bard, Ferris Bueller, decides to skip school with his girlfriend and best friend to experience the perfect spring day

in Chicago. But he has to face off obstacles like getting caught by his father, a wily high principal, and his jealous little sister.

Poignant Moment: When Cameron, in a rage against his rich father, has a temper tantrum and crashes his Ferrari. Kids!

Funniest Line: “You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she’s a whore.”

Best Song: “Danke Schoen” by Wayne Newton

Why It Feels Dated: “Ferris” holds up surprisingly well. The most dated thing about the film is probably the uniforms on the Chicago Cubs players.

Cool Fact #1: In order to get just right “drugged” out appearance for his role, Charlie Sheen stayed up for 48 hours before filming. It probably wasn’t too difficult for Charlie who was known as quite a party boy in his younger days.

Cool Fact #2: Actors who were considered for the role of Ferris included: John Cusack, Jim Carrey, Johnny Depp, Eric Stoltz, Tom Cruise, Robert Downey Jr., and Michael J. Fox. Actors considered for playing Cameron included

Anthony Michael Hall and Emilio Estevez (and it should be noted that Alan Ruck, the actor who finally got the role was 29 years old).

Better Off Dead

Released: 1985

Director: Savage Steve Holland

Starring: John Cusack, David Ogden Stiers, Curtis Armstrong, Kim Darby, Demian Slade, Scooter Stevens, and Diane Franklin

Worst Actor: Rather than talk about bad acting -- because there really isn't any here let's talk about the job Curtis Armstrong does as Charles d

e Mar. He's brilliant!

Best Actor: Another top-notch performance from the teen wonder, John Cusack, in what might be his funniest role ever.

Plot: Hmm. Not really much of a plot here. Cusack as Lane Meyer is a high school student who falls in love with a French exchange student after a terrible break-up with his girlfriend makes him ponder suicide.

Poignant Moment: Good question. We’ll get back to you on this one.

Funniest Line: "I've been going to this high school for seven and half years. I'm no dummy. I know high school girls."

Best Song: Another bad soundtrack for a teen flick, but notable is Elizabeth Daily (from "Valley Girl" ) singing "One Way Love (Better Off Dead)."

Why It Feels Dated: This is another movie that holds up surprisingly well, except for the clothing.

Cool Fact #1: When actress Amana Wyss arrives at the high school dance there is a person behind her wearing a Freddy Krueger sweater. Amanda was Freddy's first victim in "A Nightmare on Elm Street."

Cool Fact #2: The clay-mation scene of a hamburger dancing and singing to Van Halen's "Everybody Wants Some!!" is worth the rental price at the DVD store (see video above).

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Released: 1982

Director: Amy Heckerling

Starring: Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Judge Reinhold, Phoebe Cates, Brian Backer, Robert Romanus, Ray Watson, and Forest Whitaker

Worst Actor: The performances in “Fast Times” were excellent – so no weakest link here.

Best Actor: The obvious choice here is Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli, the wasted surfer dude who has some of the best one-liners in the movie. But the real soul of the movie rests with Judge Reinhold as Brad Hamilton who just can’t seem to catch a break.

Plot: A group of high school kids in southern California experiences the trials and tribulations of being a teenager – sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll.

Poignant Moment: When Mike Damone has quick, sloppy sex with Stacy Hamilton in her pool house and the camera lingers on her naked body. It’s an awkward scene – and hits home her desperation and loneliness.

Funniest Line: “What Jefferson was saying was, Hey! You know, we left this England place 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves - pronto - we'll just be bogus too! Get it?”

Best Song: “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin

Why It Feels Dated: The clothing in “Fast Times” just doesn’t hold up, especially Stacy’s work uniform.

Cool Fact #1: Sean Penn went all “method actor” with the role of Jeff Spicoli. He actually put out a cigarette on his palm in order to better understand his character and would only answer to the name “Spicoli” during filming.

Cool Fact #2: The biggest annoyance with “Fast Times” is that Mike Damone tells Rat that the best way to score with chicks is to put on the second side of “Led Zeppelin IV.” In the next scene, Rat is in the car with Stacy and the Zeppelin song “Kashmir” is blasting. “Kashmir,” however, is on the album “Physical Graffiti.”

Heathers

Released: 1989

Director: Michael Lehmann

Starring: Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, Shannen Doherty, Lisanne Falk, Kim Walker, and Penelope Milford

Worst Actor: The cast is all aces in “Heathers.”

Best Actor: Christian Slater channeling Jack Nicholson as the dark J.D. (see video below)

Plot: “Heather” is dark comedy at its finest. The movie is about a clique of popular girls all named Heather. They despise everyone, but themselves. Veronica Sawyer is in and out of the clique until she meets the new boy at school J.D. With J.D.’s dark influence upon her, Veronica and J.D. begin to kill the other girls and popular students. Veronica finally rebels against J.D. and stops him from blowing up the whole school.

Poignant Moment: When Veronica accidentally murders one of the Heathers by poisoning her with drain cleaner and J.D. convinces her to cover it up by penning a suicide note.

Funniest Line: “Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except for date rapes and AIDS jokes.”

Best Song: Amazingly, no song in “Heathers” deserves this distinction.

Why It Feels Dated: Big hair.

Cool Fact #1: How is this for weird? In the movie, Heather Duke asks Heather Chandler (played by Kim Walker): “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?” Walker died of a brain tumor in 2001.

Cool Fact #2: The roles of Veronica and J.D. were originally offered to Brad Pitt and Jennifer Connelly. The producers also tried to get Stanley Kubrick as the director.

Read our picks for some of the most poetic violent scenes in movies

Read about Alfred Hitchcock’s mastery of character movies

Our picks for the coolest sci-fi flicks of all time

Labels: 1980s, Movies, Teenagers

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